"I honestly just have this gut feeling it will work." Elijah said.

Everyone was still for a moment.

"How can disrupting the world by digging to the center of the earth with spoons wipe out the planet?" Viggo asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"I don’t really know something about Zero Gravity." Elijah replied.

Everyone did a simultaneous eye roll.

"Viggo." Zoe asked.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Where’s the ferret?" she said simply.

The hobbits laughed.

"Hey you shut up." He said pointing a finger at them.

"Ferret I don’t know what you are talking about." He replied his head held high.

"Hahah you look like that picture of Bruce Willis poking his head in the air arrogantly."

Steph and Jean randomly walk in.

"Hey it was not stuck up." Steph said.

"Who the hell are you?" Viggo asked.

"Steph and Jean! DUH!"

"No you are John Connor! DUH!" The Terminator said.

"Ok what is the Terminator doing here?" Viggo asked.

"THIS IS A LOTR CAST FANFIC!" Elijah shouted.

"No its not." The Terminator said as he dropped his grenades all over the floor.

"Ok someone has seriously been watching the terminator gag reel of the T3 disc too much." Steph said.

"Yeah its you." Jean said.

"Cause u are such a ho Steph." Epp said.

"EPP!!" Steph and Jean shouted and ran towards Epp.

"Who the heck is epp?" Viggo asked.

"Not really sure but I am blatantly obvious if it helps the situation." Orlando said.

Everyone blinked.

"Not particularly Orlando, but if we need someone to blatantly point out the obvious we will ask for your help believe me." Viggo said smiling.

"Someone pass the cigarettes." Frank said.

"FRANK?" Viggo asked taken aback.

"Yeah what do you want?" he asked slightly irritated.

"I brought him here." Said Arnold.

"ARNOLD?" Viggo asked taken aback…AGAIN.

"You are not too bright are you." Arnold said lighting a cigar.

Cigar and cigarette smoke fumed through the air.

"Ok enough of this." Steph said taking the cigar and cigarette away.

"Hey you ho!" Frank shouted.

"Hey I paid a fortune for that thing!" Arnold shouted.

"I say we clobber her." Elijah said smiling.

"I say we terminate her, and the taller one." The terminator said.

"Who me?" Jean asked.

"Sure why not." The terminator said.

"Well Arnold you can buy another you are worth like a trillion dollars." Steph said sneering.

"Well its in rich peoples nature to hoard their money and complain over ten dollar cigars." Arnold said matter-of-factly.

Everyone blinked.

"Whoa had no idea what you just said." Viggo blurted.

"Someone get a translator." Elijah said rolling his eyes.

Translator walks in.

"Yeah what do you want?" Bruce Willis said.

"Speak of the devil." Steph said breathtaken.

"Wow you know Viggo?" Jean asked.

"Yeah I know Viggo, Frank, Elijah, Terminator, and some Arnold."

"Wow…" Steph said, "Will you marry me?"

"Let me think it over and then I’ll get back to u."

"Really?"

"No."

"Damn."

Everyone blinks again.

"Enough blinking for Christ’s sake." Sauron said.

Giant eyeball floats precariously into the room.

"Wow big word there precariously." Arnold said.

"Did u just miss the fact that there is a giant eyeball like right there?" Jean asked.

"I didn’t" Orlando exclaimed.

"Oh go comb your hair." Epp said.

Everyone cheered for Epp.

"Well I say we run around town and call people hos." Epp said.

"Ok as long as I get Arnold!" Steph said.

"Why not Viggo?" Epp asked.

"Zoe has him." Steph said simply.

"Who is Zoe?" Epp asked.

"A clone of myself that I use in LOTR Cast fanfics frequently." Steph said.

Everyone blinked.

"STOP BLINKING DAMNIT!" Sauron screeched.

"OK so I get Arnold and Jean gets Elijah and his messed up eyebrows, and Epp gets Mr.obvious."

"Hey Steph you haven’t spelled anything wrong yet." Epp said smiling.

"Just you wait." Steph said.

"Hoked on fonics didn’t wurk fr me." She said smiling.

Epp rolled her eyes.

"Her lack of spelling ability is killing the world."

"I think she is killing me, I can breathe she is kissing me so much." Arnold said gasping for air.

"Hey you shut up, you know you like it." Steph said maniacally kissing.

"Well in a way yes." He said smiling.

"I think someone has a loss of genital liquid." Epp said her evil eyebrows rising.

"Ok I want Viggo too." Steph said, making Zoe magically disappear.

"Whoa that was really really cool." Arnold said.

"I want a chick that can do that." Viggo said.

"No I want a chick that can do that!" Arnold roared back.

They began fighting.

"Ok guys one rule about fighting over me." Steph said.

"WHAT?" the two men shouted.

"You have to wear…these." Steph said holding up loincloths.

"Anything for you my love." Viggo said.

"Yeah right whatever just put it on." Steph said.

"Wow its chaffing my bum." Arnold said smiling as he put the loincloth on.

"SCREEECHH!" the witch king roared.

"I don’t really get this whole thing." Elijah said, "I am leaving."

Elijah walks off.

"Dude." Jack Slater said.

"Sweet." John McClane replied.

"Oh God no." Arnold said.

"My butt itches." Viggo said.

The loincloth goes up and everyone ducks.

"That’s better." Viggo said.

Everyone scarred.

"Wow that was nice do it again!" Steph said clapping her hands.

All Shout, "NOOO!"

"You will be my love." Arnold said taking Steph’s hand.

"SCREECH!" the witch king roared again.

"It’s a bird!"

"It’s a plane!"

"It’s the John Connor DUH!" the terminator shouted.

"NOOO!!" everyone shouted.

"Ok Terminator sweetie pie, NO MORE GAG REEL!" Steph shouted.

"Ok sorry Sheesh." Terminator replied, "You aren’t coming to my birthday party!"

"Um… you don’t have a birthday." Steph said.

"DUH!" Orlando shouted.

Everyone does a simultaneous eye roll.

"Wow you know we have a lot going on at once here people!" Jean said, "My husband is trying to kill us all!"

"HIIIIYAAA!" Elijah said squirting a water gun everywhere.

"NOOOO!!!!" everyone shouted, "RUN AWAY RUN AWAY!"

"Hey whats the air speed of an unladen swallow?" Arnold asked.

"No one is really sure so that means you just kiss me." Steph said.

"Come here oh my husband and whisk me away to minas morgul where the shadows lie…as well as the late night parties with Sauron." Jean said smiling.

"ROCKON!" Sauron shouted.

The terminator lets out an a enormous burp.

"Wow that was great." Steph said.

"I give it a ten." Jean said nodding.

"Wait a minute…" Aragorn said.

"Oh no not him.." Viggo said angst in his voice.

"Terminator cant burp." Aragorn said.

"We have a new Mr. Obvious folks." Viggo said.

"Wow someone took my job!" Orlando said, "I am so disappointed…sad face."

Everyone rolls eyes…yet again.

"There seems to be a pattern here with eye rolling." Arnold said.

"ITS EYE ROLLING….DUH!" The terminator shouted.

"ENOUGH GAG REEL!" Steph shouted.

"Oh my God how did this get turned into this weird conversation…?" Viggo asked.

"SUPER SOAKER!" Elijah shouted.

Steph continues making out with Arnold.

"Oh you smell and taste like Neapolitan ice cream." Steph said.

"What the hell?" Arnold asked.

"I dunno just keep kissing me."

Steph gets bored and goes to Viggo.

"Dance dance little skinny man!" Steph shouted.

"Your wish is my command." Viggo said smiling.

Viggo does the loin cloth dance.

"Wow that’s nice do it some more." Steph said grinning ear to ear.

"I honestly think we need to end this conversation." Viggo said.

"No I kinda like it." Steph said.

"But I am running out of amusing things to say." Arnold said.

"Well tell them how you wore panties on your head in college and flushed girls heads in the toilet." Steph said.

"Wow the level of stupidity just rose." Jean said.

"Thank you u ho!" Epp said.

"Epp tell us a funny story." Steph said.

"No I wanna hear about the toilet." Epp said.

"I dunked girls heads in the toilet." Arnold said.

"I cant understand him translator!" Elijah shouted.

"You really are annoying." Bruce said.

"I just want u to translate."Elijah said innocently.

"Don’t toy with me I know your kind." Bruce said in a sinister voice.

"You know about hobbits?" Elijah said.

"Oh no Elijah thinks hes a hobbit." Viggo said.

"HES JOHN CONNOR DUH!" Terminator shouted.

"SHUT UP!" everyone roared.

John Connor enters the room.

"Who keeps saying my name?" John asked.

Everyone sighs and smacks their foreheads.

"What is with the slapping of the foreheads?" Connor asked.

"Get him out of here." Steph said.

"Ok." The terminator said.

Terminator shoots him with a bazooka.

"I didn’t say kill him, he is the only hope humanity has!" Steph shouted.

"Well he dies anyway."

Pause…

"Oh ok."

"Weren’t we gonnna end this madness?" Viggo asked.

"Well you know we just made it to the fifth page." Arnold said.

"How utterly fascinating." Sauron said smoking a cigarette, "and Aragorn if you say eyeballs cant smoke I will pour my retina juice on you."

Aragorn closes his mouth mid word.

Terminator chases his grenades around the room.

"Oh I think I got it! DAMNIT!" he shouted.

"Well I was just watching the prototype for the terminator movie thing." Steph said, "And I don’t like the accent Sgt Candy has."

"Ok enough terminator gag reel." Terminator said.

"Well I don’t like it. Its like way too country, and you look really fat on that treadmill Arnold." Steph said.

"I am not fat, I am big boned and slightly pudgy." He said.

"Yeah and I am the Queen of England." Steph said.

"Everyone uses that line way too much." Viggo said.

"Has anyone noticed that this is just a continous stream of babble, marked only by the presence of our mere existences in this world?" Jean asked.

Everyone blinked and was silent.

"If another person does that blinking thing I am gonna…" Suaron said.

"What pour retina juice on us?" Steph asked laughing.

Epp cackled and said, "Wow there are a lot of spelling errors in this."

"And did you know that I found the fourteenth quadrant the other day?" Epp said.

"Really? Wow….see Jean I told you there was a 14^th quadrant!" Steph shouted triumphantly.

"Wow this conversation is way too advanced for my brain." Arnold said.

"Wow that is just sad." Melinda said.

"Melinda!" everyone shouted.

"Where ya been?"

"I was stuck in traffic."

"Wow the subconcious can be really tricky to navigate….I-24 in the frontal lobe is all backed up." Steph said.

"What did u just say?" Jean and Melinda said together.

"Not really sure…are there interstates in your brain?" Steph asked.

Everyone was silent.

Smacking noise floated in through the background music.

"Oh my God its him and he is working on the dreaded number 47!"

All Gasped simulataneously.

"What is the big deal with number 47?" Arnold asked.

"Well number 47 is the dreaded number, I can barely even utter it within the madden zone." Viggo said shuddering.

"It’s a horrible number." Steph said grasping Arnold and Viggo.

"AIRR….PLEASE…HELP…" they said choking.

"Well legend says that the only way to break the spell of the dreaded number 47 is to…"

Truck passes by overhead drowning out Jean’s voice.

"And that’s how you get him to do number 50."

"We couldnt hear u." Steph said.

"You’ll just have to wait til graduation!"