Behind the Scenes of Lord of the Rings 3

 

(It’s really very disturbing when the entire cast is mental…which is mainly the case in all these things…but the scarier thing is when, after being forced into circle time yet again, the cast comes up with more things, giving anyone good reason to commit all these people…here’s some more stupidity.  Enjoy, and please don’t let any of this stick in your mind…it will damage it as it has mine.)

 

“Well today we are having more circle time.” Peter said sighing.

“Oh my God what a surprise.” Elijah said rolling his eyes, “Can I please go back to sleep?  I am so tired.”

Everyone nodded in agreement, it was four in the morning and no one really wanted to be up this early enjoying the wonders of circle time.

“I am so tired…” Viggo said yawning.

“We’re tired too.” Amanda said yawning, “We wanna go back to bed!  This is stupid!”

“Yeah my feet are cold and Viggo’s feet are cold!” Steph shouted.

Viggo raise an eyebrow, “Thanks for telling everyone that.”

“Allright allright stop bitching all of u.” Peter said.

Everyone shut up immediately.

“I hate circle time too!” He said.

“Well then why don’t we institute a new law within this commune to stop circle time!” Viggo shouted.

Everyone shouted in unison.

“Well since we are under the dictatorship of New Line Cinema, if we don’t do this we wont get paid!” Peter said.

Everyone except Viggo groaned.

“I hate money anyway.” He said shrugging.

“I don’t hate money!” Steph shouted.

“Well you are vain.” He replied.

Steph stuck out her tongue.

“Hey I would like to share!” Sean shouted.

“You always share!” Sauron guy shouted.

“Hey get over here Sauron guy!” Viggo hollered.
”Noo!!” he replied.

“I am king get your butt over here!” he shouted again.

“NOOOO!!”

“Fine be that way!” Viggo screamed at last.

“Anyway guys, we have to share, so someone share.” Peter said.

Everyone was silent as they thought about what they wanted to say.

“Well I don’t like the fact that Frodo and Sam are like gay or something.” Sean said.

“Yeah its kind of disturbing…” Elijah said shifting away from Sean.

“Oh my God guys that’s just the way its written!” Peter said.

“Well I don’t like the fact that I have to tie my hair up stupidly like Ian!” Viggo shouted.

“Hey I happen to like the wizard’s hair look and you should not make fun of it!” Ian said.

Viggo stuck his tongue out.

“Ok guys ok.” Peter said sighing, “Let’s get on with this.”

“Ok, ok believe it or not, I am gonna burp, just give me the beer and I will do it.” Viggo said.

Someone passed Viggo an extra large burp.  He chugged it quickly and then let out a earth shattering burp.  Everyone was silent for a moment before they started cracking up insanely.  Jean then smiled and said ‘YUMMMMMMM!!!!!’ really loudly.  Everyone started cracking up, and Jean followed up with a large burp.  Pretty soon the room was full of burping and laughing and even a few instances of farting.  Peter sighed and watched as the cast fell all over each other, unable to control their fits of laughter.  In the end he got them to shut up by getting Andy to scream ‘PRECIOUSSSSS!!!!!!! SHUT UP PRECIOUS!!!!!’ at the top of his lungs.  Amanda let out one last burp and everyone laughed real hard while Peter glared.  Pretty soon the room was completely silent.  Peter simply stared and then started laughing himself.

“Oh my God that’s just great…” he said laughing.

Everyone started up the laughing again and the whole room filled with burping and farting again until everyone got tired of it.  They soon were back where they started, sitting there for an hour with nothing to do.  Finally Billy said,

“Well we have to think of something to talk about you guys.”

Everyone was silent as they tried to think of things.  Viggo touched his crown and kingly suit and said,

“My crown and suit are stupid.”

Steph snorted laughter and quickly silenced herself.  Everyone else in the room was definitely agreeing.

“Ok well, that’s the costume you just have to deal with it.” Peter said.

“Oh oh makeout session!” Amanda cried out.

Everyone nodded.

“Where’s Epp?” Jean asked randomly.

Everyone shrugged.

“I thought she had the flu.” Steph said.

A loud sneeze flew throughout the room.

“That would be Epp.” Jean said sighing.

Everyone agreed.

“Let’s do that scene where you see Arwen for the first time and then you like attack her with your mouth like I am going to suck your brains out.” Steph said.

Viggo looked at her for a moment and then attacked her.  Everyone got amazingly scared and then started laughing as Viggo accidentally fell out of his chair.

“Oww my balls.” He said gripping his balls in his hands.

Everyone laughed.

“Ok well Orlando and I challenge you and Viggo to a make out contest.” Amanda said smiling.

“Ok.” Viggo said.

They counted off and then started making out, Viggo and Steph came up after ten seconds needing air desperately, while Orlando and Amanda continued kissing for twenty seconds.

“Wow that’s amazing.” Viggo said smiling.

“Yeah.” Steph agreed.

“We practice.” Amanda said smiling.

The whole room went ‘oooooo!!’ and Peter rolled his eyes.

“Oh can we talk to the dead people again?” Viggo asked.

“No.  Not the dead people again.” Steph said rolling her eyes.

“The dead people the dead people!” Viggo shouted.

Everyone was scared.

“Hun the dead people aren’t real!” Steph shouted at Viggo.

“Well ok then.” He said and was silent.

A screech was heard.

“Omg stop screeching ringwraith dude!” someone in the back shouted.

“Don’t tell my husband to stop screeching!” Jean shouted loudly.

“Oh my God mental ward!” Amanda said suddenly.

Everyone was scared.

“I dunno.” She said bluntly.

“Anyway…” Peter said, “Let’s get on with it!”

“Yes Nee-Wom!” Steph shouted.

“NII!!!” Amanda shouted.

Everyone was shouting ‘Nee-Wom’, and ‘NI’ until Peter shouted at the top of his lungs for them to shut up.

“Gollum is a disturbing person.” Elijah said randomly.

“Yes precious he is disturbing…” Andy said suddenly, “He is always after the precious, he always wants it, always has to have it…always needs the precious.”

He started rocking back and forth as everyone rolled their eyes.

“Whoa.” Viggo said shortly.

“Yes well anyway, where’s Denethor?” Ian asked.

“Threw himself off a cliff being all mental.” Viggo said suddenly.

“SHARING IS CARING!!” Jean and Amanda shouted randomly.

Everyone stared.

“What sharing is caring?  You gotta problem with that!” they shouted.

Everyone sighed.

“Hey Sauron what was with the spotlight thing?” Amanda asked.

“It was good for my idiom!” the voice responded.

“Oh.” She said.

Silence filled the room again.

“Oh my God this is so friggin boring.” Elijah said rolling his eyes, “Can we go film something please?”

“I have an idea lets get some breakfast.” Viggo said.

Everyone agreed with that and headed over to the breakfast food table.  There Elijah immediately picked up a Danish and attempted to started a massive food fight.  Everyone got covered in food, and were forced to go back to costumes.  After the food fight however, they didn’t even need their costumes, so they all sat around in their PJs for a while and talked.

“What are we gonna do when this is over?” Elijah asked.

“Have sex.” Viggo said immediately raising his head.

“I was gonna say that!” Amanda shouted.

“I wanted to say it but he beat me to it.” Steph said.

“I wanna go back to the mental ward.” Jean said.

Steph, Viggo, and Amanda all nodded as well.  They missed the mental ward.

“I think we should go play on the set and pretend to kill people.” Billy said smiling, “But first I must go check on Epp.”

He disappeared.

“Well precious what should we do now precious?” Andy asked.

“We must find the precious.” Jean said.

Everyone nodded in unison.

“Sounds like a plan but I really wanna smoke some hobbit weed.” Viggo said.

“That shits illegal.” Elijah said smiling.

“I know.” Viggo replied.

“That’s weed Viggo, hobbit weed is like tobacco.” Jean said.

Viggo shrugged, “Well in that case I want a cigarette.”

“I don’t think so.” Steph said glaring.

“Fine then, HEY SAURON GUY U WANT A CIGARETTE?” Viggo shouted.

“SURE!!!” he shouted in reply.

Viggo tossed a carton of Marlboros back to Sauron guy.

“I SEE YOU!!” Sauron guy shouted in reply.

This caused Amanda to burst out laughing.

“Oh my God, we should go out and rearrange traffic cones.” Steph said.

“No we did that.” Viggo said sighing.

“Let’s play tag.” Elijah said.

Everyone nodded ok.

“Well I am it!” he shouted and everyone scattered.

Elijah chased everyone around and then shouted, “We are playing bubble gum tag!”

In the end Elijah had everyone attached to him except for Jean and the ringwraith guy.

“SCREEECHHH!!!” Jean said as Elijah tried to pull everyone along behind him.

Viggo in turn stumbled over Steph, who fell on her boob and brought down Amanda who succeeded in knocking over Orlando who knocked over everyone else in a domino effect.

“Ow…” Everyone said in unison.

“Haha! You lose!” Jean said.

“Evil triumphed over good!” the ringwraith guy said.

“I hear that brother!” Sauron guy said.

“Shut up you eyeball!” Viggo shouted.

Everyone picked themselves up and started wandering around the set, trying to touch as much stuff as possible, which turned out to be rather perilous when Elijah almost destroyed Minas Tirith.

“Ok guys enough touching the models,” Peter said sighing, “Go outside and roll down the hill.”

Everyone liked that idea so they all hurled themselves down the hill one by one and ended up landing in the water at the bottom with one large lump.

“ESU!!!” Steph and Jean said as they hit the bottom.

“Someone get me an ambulance please…” Viggo and Orlando said, “I think I broke my dick.”

Steph and Amanda gasped in horror.

“Just kidding!” they said.

Everyone then filed up the hill and proceeded to head back inside.

“Wow that was fast.” Peter said.

“Yeah it was really uneventful.” Jean said.

“Yeah next time give us something stupider to do.” Steph said.