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| See this loser? His name is Jared Fogle. That inspirational asshole who lost 245lbs on the Subway diet (you know, that undiscovered method of losing more calories than you take in?) Well, almost five years later, he's still getting press for his amazing discovery. And it's really pissing me off. If you looked up "Washed-Up" in the dictionary - you'd get this picture: him holding what looks likes dead lobster inbetween two peices of bread. I don't get how he became a Subway Spokesman practically overnight. He didn't do anything amazing. You know what he did? He ate the normal 2,000 calorie-daily diet, and added in a couple miles of walking. It was almost as amazing as the millions of other people who lost weight by doing the exact same thing. Subway and Jared just have a mutual (and probably gay) contract, that should have been terminated four years ago, when everyone stopped caring and/or forgot what Jared originally did. What's worse is they think it was some sort of achievement to lose weight. Here's an even better theory: Unless your physically handicapped somehow, then you originally made yourself fat by making wrong decisions. So according to Subway, people who correct their original mistakes are heros. It'd be like me running you over with my car, but instead of driving away, I call an ambulance and you don't end up dying. Hooray! I saved your life! Maybe I should be on some Subway commercials. |