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| Hey Losers. The other day, I was on the internet looking for clipart to enclose in a letter to my aunt (I can do that, thanks to Mrs. Dornbusch) I stumbled upon this picture of "Santa Claus" - only there's something wrong here. Let's not lie to ourselves - he's African-American! The blacks have taken a lot of things away from us: A) Professional Sports B) Rap Music (just give it up Fat Joe) C) For a few years there Colin had taken away our Secretary of State... Now they want to take Santa Claus too? Come on, when will you selfish jerks just be satisfied? Who else is left to be black - Jesus?? Part of me being so skilled with the internet means I quickly found a website where I could write letters to Santa. It was an electronic message (e-mail) to be exact, so I got a reply in no time (6-8 business days). His letter went a little something like this... |
| Dear Patrick, Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas Patrick! I'm e-mailing you back on your previous question. For starters, No, i'm not black - i'm caucasian. Secondly, Candy-canes are NOT apart of the Atkins diet. And last and foremost: Stop e-mailing me. Love, SC (not Sam Chiappone) |
| So, like I was saying, candy canes ARE unhealthy. |