B (flat) 5

Posted by tOM on April 16, 1998 at 08:06:49:

It turns out that, in the tradition of Buckaroo Bonzai, the command staff of Babylon 5 are also rock musicians in their spare time. The band, made up of Sheridan, Sinclair, Ivanova, Delenn, and Garibaldi breaks up from time-to-time and re-forms under a new name to hide their identities. Lennier is their road manager. Among the cognoscente they are known as the B(flat)5.

Recently, InterSteller Entertainment did an in-depth feature on these warrior/musicians.

ISE Newscaster:

John Sheridan, lead electric triangle with Toad the Wet Sprocket (a.k.a. The B(flat)5) has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful city-wide tour of Z'Ha'Dum. Flamboyant ambidextrous John apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. "Fell off the back of a motorcycle, most likely," quipped ace drummer "Iron Mike" Garibaldi upon hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Centauri Prime.

Divorced after only eight hours, popular television singing star, Susan Ivanova, changed her mind when she realized she had married a Narn by mistake. The evening before in B5's glittering nightspot, Erhart's, she had proposed to ambassador Londo Mollari of Centauri Prime, after a whirlwind romance and three bottles of Bravari. But when the hangover lifted, it was G'Kar of the Narn who was on her arm in the registry office. G'Kar, who was too high on Dust to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Susan spotted the error as G'Kar was being carried into the wedding ambulance and became emotionally upset. She elected to spend the wedding night unconscious but left a wake-up call if Londo should ring. She was last heard muttering, "Six...six!!!"

The B(flat)5, lately known as Dead Monkey Boys, are to split up again, according to their manager, Lennier. They've been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became for a while, Trout. Then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, the re-formed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumor and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which lead to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable split up. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Manier, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Baith, the Places, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon In A White Wine Sauce, Salmon-Nella, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favorite, had to be dropped following an injunction and they split up again. When they reformed after a record breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkey Boys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they've finally split up. Said lead singer Jeff "Boy" Sinclair, "We'll probably be getting back together in a thousand years or so."

(telephone ringing)

ISE Newscaster answers: Hello.
Garibaldi (V.O. on telephone): Hello
Newscaster: Yes?
Garibaldi: What do you think of Dead Duck?
ISE Newscaster: What do I think of Dead Duck? I thought you'd only bruised it?
Garibaldi: or Lobster?

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oAs many as it takes!! �-) G'Kar Junior 09:42:44 4/16/98 (0)

oDid someoen want a butcher? Live liver transplant, perhaps? (nt) Butcher 14:53:25 4/16/98 (0)

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