Full Transcript of press conference introducing Mohammed
Saeed al-Sahaf as new PR Dircetor of the CSH Detroit Red
Wings on 4/26/03 in Detroit, MI.

Please note: "" comments are actual MSS excerpts with a
minor tweak to reflect the Detroit/hockey thing......
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BP:	Welcome, all.  And, please give a great Hockeytown
     	welcome to the newest member of the Red Wings'
     	organization, our new PR man, Mohammed Saaed
     	al-Sahaf.  Or, as we refer to around the office,
     	MSS.

MSS:	Thank you, Brian Pate.  You are our loved and
	respected great leader, yourself and Allah be
	praised.

BP:	Thank you, MSS.  We will now open the floor for
	questions.

HSJ:	MSS, Helene St. James here, Detroit News.  Many
	fans have questioned the lack of updates on the
	team's official site.  What do you plan to do about
	that?

MSS:	"They are becoming hysterical. This is the result 
	of frustration."

HSJ:	Um, I'm not sure how you can conclude that the fans
	are hysterical but, do you plan to update the site
	more frequently?

MSS:	"I will only answer reasonable questions."

NC:	Nicholas Cotsonika, Detroit Free Press.  On the
	upcoming series with Nashville, who do you think
	the Preds will start, Osgood or Garnett?

MSS:	"We expect the aggressors to use anything, we don't
	rule out that in their depression at being vanquished,
	those losers will become hysterical and commit even
	more folly."

NC:	I see....  What preparations have the Wings made for
	the Predators in Game 1 here in Detroit?

MSS:	"They are most welcome. We will butcher them.  We will
	welcome them with old skates and pucks."

BM:	Barry Melrose, ESPN Hockey 2Night.  I think Nicholas
	meant what do you plan to do to defeat the Predators?

MSS:	"Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out
	of Detroit Metropolitan Airport. The force that was in
	the airport, this force was destroyed." 

BM:	Doesn't that take away from the spirit of competition
	and good sportmanship?

MSS:	"We went into the airport and crushed them, we cleaned
	the WHOOOLE place out, they were slaughtered"

BM:	I caught that the first time....  But, if you slaughtered
	them all as you say, why did I just talk to Sergei
	Samsonov in the hallway?

MSS:	"Samsonov, he needs to be hit on the head."

BM:	But, if you slaughtered them, why are they here in the
	arena?

MSS:	"There are no Nashville infidels in the Olympia. Never!"

HSJ:	Ok....  Well, how do you feel the team will fare in the
	first round and, in the cup playoffs as a whole?

MSS:	"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

HSJ:	I'll take that as an assesment of the first round.  How
	about the playoffs overall?

MSS:	"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all.  
	They're coming to surrender or be burned in their skates."
	The Stanley Cup will soon be ours, Allah and Brian Pate be
	praised.

NC:	So, you're optimistic of the teams chances?

MSS:	"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all."

BP:	Ok folks, one last question...

JD:	John Davidson, ABC and ESPN sports.

MSS:	"the louts of colonialism."

JD:	Um, ok....  Anyway, what's your prediction for game 1?

MSS:	"We will slaughter them, Casey Hearn and his international
	gang of bastards! Our Red Wings will be slapping those
	gangsters on the face, and then when they flee, we will 
	kick their backsides."

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End of transcript