distract. something to make you something to make you forget. everyone
to be fixed. the heaviness of the cold of metal under flesh. in a pill.
filling an empty with empty possessions. obsessions. i had fully understood my
addiction. i would to pretend that i knew nothing this, but i had fragments of
realization for years. i didn�t want know. i felt the hook pulling, on my
arteries. always tugging, and always followed. i could feel it my veins, this
emptiness. i can it now. internal bleeding. bleeding into ink spreads on a
page. in ruin, i found a diary i kept when i was eight years �i wish [blank]
hadn�t dumped me. miss him. i love him.� i i had written these words a
time, but i had no idea long. i knew then that this the end.