Here I sit once again
My heart aching
My tears flowing
My mind tormented

Was it all pretend
Was I deceiving myself
Was I dreaming beyond my personal control

I seem to unintentionally
hurt the people I wanted to help
the most
My life and love, my child
and perhaps myself

Was my dream really out of reach
After a major confrontation
Are my dreams no longer to be
I can only hope, not!

Am I being selfish in trying
to make myself happy
I thought things would be better
Does this emotional roller coaster
ever end
Can I continue to have my dreams