I’m not sure when it happened. Maybe it was that first corny joke – or the first time I said, "Because I said so, that’s why" – for maybe it was the first time I called my son by my brother’s name and then went down the list of uncles until I got the right name.

Suddenly, one day I looked in the mirror, and there was my dad. I opened my mouth and his voice came out. Even scarier, it sounded like something he would have said.

But the scariest moment was the day I happened to overhear my son say to my daughter, "Hannah, why won’t you listen to me. You don’t have to make the same mistakes I make." I thought, didn’t I just say that to him?

Now I look at him studying his Bible, leading worship at church with his guitar, rushing around, and over-committing himself – and there is that mirror again.

Rest assured, someday, to some degree, you will become your father and your sons will become you.

Theologian Jonathan Edwards believed that the mind is a blank slate to be written upon by life experience. If that is true, then you have the responsibility of writing upon the minds of your children by the example of your life. In other words, they will become what you are.

Statistics indicate that children of alcoholics have the tendency to become alcoholics; children of abusive parents have the tendency to become abusive parents – not because they want to but because it is what they have learned. It doesn’t always happen, but the tendency is there because of learned behavior.

"As the branch is bent, so grow the tree."

All parents want ‘something better’ for their children, but they usually follow your example more than your advice.

Dads, do you want your children to be a chip off the old block? They will be! Like it of not!

Consider the words of a popular song of the 70’s:

Cat’s In The Cradle

Dads, your sons will be like you and your daughters will probably a man like you. Can you live with that? If not, it’s time to improve.

In 3 decades – 1960-1990 – the percentage of children living apart from their biological fathers doubled to 36%. By the turn of the century it could be up to 50%.

And what is this fatherlessness doing?

In the mid-1950’s, only 27% of girls had sexual intercourse by age 18; in 1988, it was up to 56% (including 19% of 15 years olds). Fatherlessness is a contributing factor.

Teen suicide has nearly tripled. Alcohol and drug abuse among teenagers is soaring. SAT test scores declined 75 points between 1960 and 1990. The absence of fathers seems to be one of the most consistent factors.

Children learn a lot from their fathers by playing with them. The way fathers play has effects on everything from the management of emotions to intelligence and academic achievement. Mothers play more at the child’s level and let them direct the play. Fathers, on the other hand, are more physical and competitive. From this play children learn competitiveness and cooperation – teamwork. They learn initiative, risk-taking, independence, self-control, and problem solving. Surprisingly, fathers contribute to the child’s developing of compassion and empathy.

Dad, never play down your importance with your children. And remember this : Time spent with your child is not a distraction from the main event. It is the main event.

Dad, God has set you as the leader of the home – despite what modern feminists say. God’s Word is a higher authority. You set the pace in the home.

You set the mood – the family will reflect your attitudes.

You set the standard – they will live up to what you live up top and what you expect.

You set the spiritual climate – you are the priest of your home. Act like it.

You set the relational abilities. Your sons will learn to be husbands and fathers from you.

Are you a good leader for you kids? What a shame some men can lead corporations, work crews, social clubs, but not their families.

Dad, you give your family a sense of security when you assume your position as leader.

I watched my dad go through all kinds of situations, but he never buckled. He resisted the temptations to quit and withstood the pressures and was always there for us.

For years, my dad was a rock – and I was a rolling stone. But one day I stooped rolling and became a rock – like my dad. Last week my parents celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary. What an example!

It took me a long time to realize that my dad was a much better dad than I thought he was. The following piece gives you an idea of what I am saying:

At 4 years old – My dad can do anything!

At 7 – My dad knows everything!

At 10 – Well, he doesn’t know everything.

At 12 – No, he wouldn’t know anything about that.

At 14 – Help with my homework? Are you kidding?

At 16 - Actually he’s kind of old-fashioned.

At 18 – Did I say old-fashioned? He’s completely out of it.

At 22 – Well, maybe dad would understand this.

At 30 – I think I’ll ask dad what he thinks.

At 35 – I’m gonna talk to dad before I decide.

At 50 – I wonder what dad would have done.

At 60 – Boy my dad was smart.

At 65 – I wish I could talk it over with dad once more.

Andrew Murray wrote:

Kid’s don’t just assume you love them. They often don’t notice the things you do to show it. They need to hear it. They need words of approval.

A whole generation of baby boomers were emotionally paralyzed because their dads were too busy chasing the American dream and trying to provide materially. It is more important to provide emotionally and spiritually.

Kids need correction and discipline. But they need just as much direction, encouragement and approval. Maybe they need this more.

Conclusion:

1. Slow down – pay attention – watch and listen to your kids.
2. Play with them. That’s how they learn.
3. Take time to teach. They are like sponges.
4. Tell them you love them every day.