A Radiant wife is . . .

A woman cleansed by God's Word

A woman of Godly character

A woman of mature judgment

A woman with no spiritual disfigurement

A woman with the "glow of God" upon her countenance

How to make your wife radiant

in the Lord's eyes

1. Allow God to cleanse your wife by His Word

Establish a time to read the Bible to your family. Encourage them to work on projects with their hands to reduce uneasiness and fidgeting. It will help them be more attentive and interested.

The cleansing value or the Word is emphasized over and over in scripture.

2. Consistently praise your wife for Godly character.

Praise will motivate her to more godliness. Flattery will cause her to stumble.

Praise calls attention to character qualities. Flattery calls attention to physical features.

Praise motivates her to concentrate on her inward godliness. Flattery motivates her to have pride in physical features.

Praise is based on character. Learn many character traits. Take each one and think of a specific way your wife has demonstrated it. Tell her.

i.e. Compassion - Courtesy - Dependability - Determination - Discretion - Faith - Gentleness - Generosity - Neatness - Patience - Self-control - Thriftiness

3. Help your wife remove her secret fears

Many wives have deep fears and emotions they have never shared with their husbands for several reasons.

1. They feel guilty for having the fears and emotions.

2. They hope the fears and emotions will go away.

3. They fear rejection from you.

4. They desire to reduce your burdens.

5. They assume you will not have the answers. (And they may be right, but they need your shoulder more than your mouth.)

It is your duty to lovingly and patiently assist her in identifying and verbalizing her fears and in gaining wisdom from God in resolving them.

What steps can you take to remove your wife's fears

1. Be aware of the fears she may have

growing old - losing her looks - loss of health - losing you -

failing as a wife and mother - etc.

2. Ask her how she really feels about these issues and really listen.

3. Ask God for wisdom in resolving it.

What scriptures? - What can she do? - What can you do?

4. Communicate love through good manners

One of the basic needs of your wife is to know that you cherish her and that you are thinking about her. Your awareness of her presence is her assurance of your love and protection. It tells her how much a part of your life she really is.

One way you show her this is by using good manners with her. You would do it for a stranger. Why not her? If you don't, she will feel taken for granted.

If you treat her like a queen one day and neglect basic manners the next, she will feel insecure and resist your attention in order not to get hurt.

i.e. Help her with her coat - open doors for her - lift heavy thing for her - pick up after yourself - be on time - tell her your schedule - refrain from course language, criticism, etc. - attend to personal cleanliness, neatness, grooming (even when it's just her)

5. Build trust by being a one-woman man

A wife feels secure in her marriage when she knows she has a permanent place in the heart of her husband. If she sees that he is delighting in the friendship or company of another woman, she will experience feelings of jealousy, envy, insecurity, resentment, and self-rejection.

If a wife fears that her husband will divorce her, her fears may cause her to take actions which will damage the spirit of their marriage.

A husband can help by assuring her regularly that she is #1 and he will never leave her.

6. Encourage you wife to seek fulfillment through God-given responsibilities

She can only find her true identity and fulfillment by completing the functions for which God created her.

(Bearing children - teaching the children (rearing them) - being rich in good works)

Husbands can help their wives by praising these qualities and duties and esteeming them as most valuable.

1. Keep talking

Ec 9:9 Rejoice with the wife of thy youth...

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together except they be agreed?

...and keep listening.

2. Keep encouraging each other

3. Keep having fun

Prov 5:18-19

4. Control the conflict

Learn to fight fair.

Identify what areas cause conflict and work on them. Settle them or avoid them/

5. Stay on the same team. Don't become enemies.

Divorce Proofing

- 1 Corinthians 13

- Never use the word divorce (Proverbs 18:21)

-Intense disagreements don't mean the marriage is in trouble

-Don't drop the bomb (that trigger you know will set the other off)

-Don't make mate brunt of public jokes

-Practice sincere, frequent compliments (Proverbs 25:11)

-Give each other some space-don't smother (possessive)

-Say "I'm sorry" and "I forgive"

-Never shut each other out (rule your spirit)

-In conflict, don't use 3rd party for solace (other than professional counselors)

Be careful who you confide in. Pray.

-When at work, give it all you've got. When you're off, take off.

1. facts - feelings, emotions

2. solution - sympathy

3. objective - personal

4. separates who we are from our surroundings - everything becomes a part

of her (takes things more personally)

5. generalize - detailed