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| The following is an email that I sent to a very large church (about 1100 members) that I know had been searching for a pastor for better then a year. The teaching is quite lenghty, so I would suggest you print it out. Actually I sent it as an attachment in word format, but the information was so informative that I thought I would make it Part II of the first teaching we did on this subject. If your committee is really serious about finding the right pastor and soon, it is just good wisdom to hear me out. I promise it will help you in your search. I received and email back from this church thanking me for the insight and confirming some things God had been dealing with some of the board members about. So the choice is yours! In my on continued search for the right church my heart has really become heavy for pastor-less churches that have been long without a pastor. Even when I'm settled into my next pastorate this is one passion I will continue to pursue; so please receive this out of the love and burden that I have for the churches, that comes upon me daily. -Pastor David W. Foster |
| Introduction |
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| Search Committee, I can't help but notice you've been at your search for how long? A whole year or better? Do you wonder what's taking the process so long? Do you want to know why you may have not found that right shepherd yet? Introduction Allow me to introduce myself: I'm pastor David Foster, President and founder of Son of God Ministries, Inc. here in the City of Little Rock, AR. I think I may have already sent you a resume, and have been rejected. Don't get me wrong, I have no hard feelings, and I'm not sure your church would be a match anyway. But I see a common mistake that you are making such as other churches that have been searching for a pastor for better then a year. Stop and think with me for a minute: Based on the qualifications and experience you are looking for in a pastor, if you were to find such a man that fits this criteria exactly, he's probably already successfully pastoring a church. Now this is not costing you nothing, I'm giving you this advice free of charge. As I told one search committee member, so tell I you: It's just as wrong to try and lure a pastor away from another church as it is for a pastor and church to try and lure members away from another church. I'm a seasoned and veteran pastor of 13yrs, and have been in ministry for 22. I don't have any formal training, but I think my twenty-two plus years of ministry should be equivalent. I've never pastored a church of a thousand or more members, but I've preached to churches of a thousand or more. As I told one church, I will tell you also, it is a rarity to find such a pastor without a church. And if you do find one that will leave his church for yours, just how stable do you think he would be? Since I�ve left my last church and have been searching for my next pastorate, I�ve seen Internet ads that ranged from ridiculous to completely absurd. And don�t get mad at me when I say this, some of them looked a lot like yours! Some I�ve shown to my wife and would remark, �Honey, the person they are looking for hasn�t been born yet!� Or �If the person they are looking for has all of these qualifications they are looking for, don�t they think he would be successfully pasturing a very nice and productive church of his own?� You see what most churches of your caliber don�t realize is that pastors such as the one you are looking for don�t grow on trees. It takes time for a man of God to develop into the seasoned veteran that most large vacant churches want. Tell me about the last pastor of your church: Was he the primary visionary? Was it he, who started the work, and had it to blossom into what it is today? Or maybe you are one of those churches that have had about five or six pastors over the last two or three decades. Well if the reason you�re looking for another pastor is anything other then the present one passing away or retiring, you�re probably going through pastors who have been drawn away from another church. And if they can be drawn away from another church, they can be drawn away from you. I know this may be lengthy but please bear with me in my discourse. The Pastor/Church Marriage If you are looking for a pastor because the present visionary has passed or is retiring did you noticed starting out that even he wouldn�t have met your present criteria? Most pastors I know that are pasturing successfully large churches didn�t start out with seminary degrees, and five to ten years of experience pasturing thousand member churches. When a church looses it�s primary visionary, THAT IS THE END OF AN ERA! To try and have someone to come in and pick up with as many years of experience, and as well seasoned, trained, and taught is practically unrealistic. The church and board must realize that that was the end of an era, and that the next pastor will start a new one. Finding a pastor as seasoned, trained, and spiritually equipped, as the primary visionary is very, very, rare! If you do get one, more than likely you have pulled him from another work, and in my book, that is spiritual adultery. You see, a pastor taking on a church is comparable to a man taking a wife (for every pastor is married to his church). Did you notice that over in I Tim. 3 that the apostle Paul likened a man taking on a church, to that of a man being married with a family? ��If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.� When a man takes on the pastorate of a church, he (for all practical intents in purposes) has married that church. [Note: Don�t get me wrong, I know the church is and will be the bride of Christ, but just as He is the Chief Shepherd and we as ministers his under shepherds, so it is with being married to the church. On the earth pastors are married to their individual churches, but not THE CHURCH (the whole body of Christ)] I�ve often commented and told churches; pastors are married twice (if they are married). And just like it isn�t right for the woman to look for her husband, so it is with the church and pastor. Scripture says, �Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.� (Prv.18:22) It is not scripturally correct for the woman to be looking for the man. This is one reason why so many bad marriages; the woman found the man, instead of the man finding the woman! I think a pastor can find HIS church better than HIS church finding him! He would know the church that he is better equipped to live �happily ever after� with more so then that church knowing him. Maybe I can us this marriage analogy to help you see more plainly why churches have a hard time finding the right pastor, and why when they do find one, the relationship normally is not �until death do us part.� I don�t think God intended churches to �go through� several pastors within one or two decades. I�ve come across some churches that are not twenty years old yet, but they�ve been through about ten pastors. Something is Wrong! When God joins a pastor and church together, the original plan is �till death do us part.� But like so many marriages go bad, so does the church/pastor marriage relationship. I�ve taught several marriage seminars, and I�ve ways taught that marriage is a �Partnership.� In order for it to be a happy marriage both parties must pull their own weight and work together as one. And so it is with the pastor and church relationship. The successful pastor/church marriage will be one where the people will work with the pastor as one. But just like natural marriages have their problems, so it is with the pastor/church marriage. Good marriages don�t just happen: it takes two parties working together as one consistently. Let me say this: This is why I�m not an advocate of pastors pasturing two or more churches. That is comparable to a man being married to two or more women. You can readily see there will be problems. Mainly because that man of God can�t give his undivided attention to the church God has him married too. [Now don�t get me wrong, I know some man of God are called to do an apostolic work (that is set up and establish churches). But there is a big difference between pasturing two or more churches, and setting up and establishing two or more churches. A man of God doing an apostolic work will appoint pastors over churches he may establish, much like a father giving their child away in marriage. Once that father give that child away in marriage they don�t try to run their child household. They may help, and see that they get a good start, but once the marriage takes place, the father�s job is done.] Stay Away From Married Pastors This is also why I say it is wrong for a church to try and lure a pastor away from another church, AND it would be wrong for a pastor to leave one church for another. I know what you�re thinking, �But you said you left your church and are looking for another church.� A better word for it would be �I divorced my last church, and is looking for another.� You see some pastors and their churches were not meant to be together in the first place; but they were attracted to each other because they were impressed by what each one could bring to the table (Or as we would say, they just looked good to each other) and joined themselves together without the Lords blessing. Once they were married it was all down hill. The two were not compatible at all. So some pastors and churches end up divorcing each other because of irreconcilable differences! Even though I was the primary visionary of my church, they had gotten to the point where they wouldn�t work with me as one. If I pulled one way, they went another. Over a period of years the marriage just died, and it all became mechanical. So I released my church as I felt the leading of the Lord to do so (not knowing where I would go next). And I�ve been without a church for little better than a year, with the promise of the Lord that He has the right one out there for me. You see as a single pastor now, I�m looking for that special Church. The last church I planned on ever marrying. You see I�m free to talk to single (churches without a pastor) churches legitimately because I�m not tied to another. But pastors who are tied to other churches had better not leave them unless they are quite sure they have heard from the Lord. You see before a pastor (who�s currently pasturing) should even consider talking to another church about the possibility of marriage, he should be out of his present marriage! Talking to another church while you already have a church is disloyal. If you�re already pasturing your CHEATING! It�s spiritual infidelity! I don�t care how attractive this other church look; God legally binds you to your present church! I�ve seen many churches fostering to this adulterous spirit by placing in their ads, CONFIDENTIALLITY WILL BE HELD IN THE STRICTESS OF CONFIDENCE! THE DEVIL IS A LAIR, PASTOR YOU ARE ALREADY MARRIED!!! Now I know I may not gain any friends or get some Amens, but it�s the truth whether you like it or not! Doesn�t that sound like an adulterous woman: �Sneak on over to my place, I won�t tell anyone! Go ahead on and divorce them, I have so much more I can offer you!� That is the wrong spirit to have! Listen single (or vacant) churches; STOP trying to lure pastors way from their present church, it isn�t right! Again I say, this is probably why it appears that you can�t keep a pastor. Pray that God would send you the right pastor. If he�s already pasturing, you know right off, he�s not the one! The Right One So maybe you can understand now why you should just pray that God would send you whomever He has for your church, instead of demanding so much out of them educationally and experientially. It is good to want those things in your pastor, but what and if the pastor that�s right for your church is �ignorant and unlearned.� In order to help you, I don�t mind telling you that in my own personal life I�ve been divorced and remarried (don�t judge me, you don�t know the details). But when things started going wrong in my first marriage, I didn�t secretly start talking to other potential candidates, what would that have made me? I rode the storm out as best I could, until I was quite certain I had the Lord�s approval to move on. Once my first marriage was dissolved, then I was free to move on. But get this: I didn�t go after other men wives or married women. And I was not expecting my new wife to fulfill or step into the shoes of my former wife. I knew one era had ended and a new one was about to begin. When I talked to the Lord about my next wife, I didn�t put a whole bunch of stipulations on it. I just wanted the woman He had for me, and that was it. Too me, she would be the most beautiful woman in the world (And she is!). It didn�t matter if she were black, white, red, yellow, educated, or uneducated. I just wanted God�s will. Not On The Same Level One other thing about me finding a new wife: I knew my next wife wouldn�t be no where near the level of my previous wife as far as knowing me, what I like to eat, how I liked my bath water ran, how I liked my breakfast fixed, taking care of my children, and so on. For me to expect another woman to come in right by my side and pick up where the last one left off without missing a beat would be unrealistic. It takes time for a good relationship to grow and blossom. I knew I would be going back to square one, as far as getting my wife use to my way of life as well as me getting use to hers. There would obviously be times (many times) when our ways would clash, but that is all about the process of getting to know one another again. Gosh I wish I could have gotten a woman that came with the previous years of experience that my wife and I had built as far as knowing one another, but it just don�t happen like that. Even though my second (and last) wife was better equipped in just about every way, yet she didn�t have the experience of knowing me and my ways like my first. So for me to expect everything out of her as I did my first wife would have no doubt sent me to the divorce court again (quickly). Are you getting what I�m saying search committee? There is NO pastor that will know you like your last pastor even though they may be better equipped. To expect that out of a candidate will have you searching for quite some time. You may lose all of the members before you find the right candidate. When I was searching for my next wife I knew what �I WANTED,� but I purposed to stay open to what God wanted and knew was best for me. Had I went after what I wanted, I would have probably been married and divorced three or four times over. Now don�t get me wrong, it is good to know what you want, but it is better to let God do the choosing. Most churches (especially the larger ones) want a man of God to come in and pick right up where the last pastor left off without missing a beat, and that is totally unrealistic. Face the fact that your church may be set back (because if you�ve lost a shepherd that had pastured the church for years, you will never replace his knowledge and vision). Give the new pastor room to be who he is, and implement the vision God has given him. He will definitely bring a new flavor, so stop looking for the old. So many churches in the hunt for a pastor have probably past over several that could have been God ordained because they are looking at a person�s personal accomplishments. Again I say, stop trying to lure pastors away from churches they are presently pasturing. Realize that the type of pastor you may want (highly trained, experienced, and educated) is probably already successfully pasturing a church, and he didn�t start out like that. Most of his training and experience came from that church, and if he�s a true shepherd, he�s not about to leave his church for yours. Finding The Right Pastor Now using this same analogy (pastor/church marriage) let me show you the process of finding a new pastor. Keeping in mind that most churches are pastor-less because: #1. They�ve been though a divorce. #2. Their primary visionary died. #3. He left you for another woman (church). #4. Current visionary retired (for some reason he couldn�t continue). #5.You divorced him. The only two legitimate reasons for being pastor-less being, the primary visionary dying, or retired. I might add this too; some churches have never really had a real pastor, just a �live-in boy friend.� One that never really had the interest of the church at heart. When things got tough, they cut out, hurting a lot of people. Now before I give you this process of how to find the right pastor, let me say this (this may hurt some your egos, but it�s a fact): When a church goes pastor-less, they shouldn�t have to be left with the burden of finding their next pastor. As a matter of fact, most churches are incapable of finding their next pastor on their own. Do you really think �sheep� know what shepherd is good, and right for them? Sheep trying to find their next pastor on their own would be liken to children trying to find parents after they�ve been fostered. THEY DON�T REALLY KNOW WHO AND WHAT IS GOOD FOR THEM! Yes I know that�s a tough saying (very hard on the ego) but yet it�s true. Sheep do not have the prospective of a shepherd. As I said when I started this expose most churches are looking for Mr. Everything. Very well accomplished, with great experience. Since I have step out of the pastoral pulpit for a while, I have seen first hand how valuable the shepherd� ministry is. Let children look for parents on their own, and you tell me exactly what type of parents will get their attention first? Ones that will give them what they want, and let them have their way! Our government knows that, so we have agencies that do the picking for the fostered children. My point being this: The number one and best way for a church to find it�s next pastor is for the departing pastor (if he is available and able) to work with the church until HE is satisfied with the candidate. Actually the choice for next pastor probably should be his alone, and not a board decision. If for some unforeseeable reason I have to leave my biological children, (and I�m capable) I will make the decision for them as to whom their next parents will be. My children will have no say in the matter. Now they can voice their opinion, but the final decision will be mines and mines alone to make. On the other hand a lot of pastors leave under adverse circumstances so they�re not around to help, so what are the proper channels under those conditions? Well If your church were connected to an organized denomination (and I know you don�t like hearing that, but there�s a principle that they have which is scripturally correct) the heads of that organization will more then likely find and appoint a pastor for your church. In other words the process of finding a pastor would be in the hands of the founding pastors and organized leaders, not in a church board. Church board and search committees looking for a pastor on their own should not be the norm (it is, but it shouldn�t be)! If your church is closely associated with a pastor, and you know him to be a proven pastor, you may want to seriously consider getting him to help in your search. A true shepherd should and will know exactly what to look for in a pastor (especially if he�s familiar with your church). But I know many vacant churches do not have the privilege of the former pastor, organization, or neighboring pastor helping out; so for the many of you who don�t, here�s the best way to look. 1. Availability � Both the seeking church and pastor need to advertise your availability. Keeping in mind that if a pastor is already obligated to a church, HE�S NOT AVAILABLE. Just like a single person is and shouldn�t be looking to partner with a married person, so it is and should be with vacant churches looking for pastors. 2. Know what you want � While it is good to know what you want and have an idea of what you want, this CAN�T BE THE PRIMARY REASON YOU CHOOSE OR DON�T CHOOSE A PASTOR! Look at it from this stand point: If you want a pastor that is learned, and have formal training with degrees in theological studies, be willing to choose any man of God, and let him know you�re willing to pay for his theological training. Now if he comes with it, thank God for it. But most of the ministers that have it, got it in the process of pasturing their own church. The reason I say you should know what you want is because of doctrinal differences, beliefs, and differences in vision. When I was a single man looking for my wife, I knew the kind of woman I wanted, but I left myself open for the Lord to give me the woman I NEEDED! I don�t understand these churches that say they are believing God to send them their next pastor, but won�t even consider a candidate because he doesn�t meet their expectations and criteria. If you are truly trusting God, you must be open to every candidate, including the ones that don�t have formal training or as many years of experience. If they meet the qualifications of I Timothy three, then they should be considered as candidates. Don�t add anything too, or take away from those qualifications. Also consider the candidate may be of another culture or race. When I was single and looking, I didn�t go out looking for a woman of my racial decent. Too me, if God said she was the one, the pigmentation of her skin didn�t matter. 3. Make a list � After you have gotten a list of all the available applicants your next step is narrowing it down to at least three potentials. Keeping this in mind: If he�s already married (has a current church), HE�S NOT AVAILABLE! Don�t start your list off too big. If you taken in over a hundred applicants, you�ll just drag the process out. A good number to start out with would be anywhere from ten to twenty-five. If out of the first twenty-five you don�t find the one your looking for, go to the next. But with that first ten to twenty-five narrow your list down to your three potentials. 4. Getting to know each other � After you done all of your background checks, and you are satisfied with the three you�ve chosen, set up a date (a time when you two can come together and talk)! See if you can get a good feel for each other (this will only be done with the final three). After taking time to get acquainted with each other, if you�re making a connection, proceed to your next date: that is set up a time for the minister to share and minister. 5. Spending time together � Now this is very important: Out of the three that you have dated, make a decision to spend more time with the one you like the most, and believe could be your next pastor. You see, there�s no way you can get the fullness of a pastorial anointing just by hearing someone preach one or two messages in a service (there is so much more to pasturing then teaching and preaching). Out of your final three pick one to pastor the church on a probationary period of at least three months. During this time, you will definitely get a feel for whether he�s the right candidate or not. If there is anything from God concerning the pastor in your church, it will without a doubt show up within this time period. If it doesn�t, start in with your next twenty-five and repeat the process until Mr. Right shows up. 6. I Do � After dating and spending time together you should know if this is your soul mate spiritually. If after going through this process, everything appears to fall into place, then go to the altar together and make your vows to one another. You�re commitments should be for life, not just a five or ten year term. If you are a match in the Lord, the both of you should live happily ever after. You�re ministry should be fruitful, and you will begin to multiply. Just a note of caution: Every marriage doesn�t start off with smooth sailing. While a lot of marriage couples go on a honeymoon, it doesn�t take them long to realize that the honeymoon doesn�t last forever. Just like there are obstacles and struggles in every marriage, so it will also be in the church. THAT IS NO REASON TO SCREAM FOR A DIVORCE, AND RUN HOME TO MOMMA! When I conduct marriage seminars, one thing I always tell my couples is: GOOD MARRIAGES JUST DON�T HAPPEN! You�ll have to work at it! Most of the struggles a husband and wife face in a normal marriage the church and pastor will face also. At times financial struggles, at times disagreements, at times children being rebellious and disobedient, at times children running away from home, and listen to this one: At times infidelity! That is, the pastor starts flirting with another church! Talking about leaving his well beloved because he�s taken all he could take. And just like divorce is hard on a naturally family, so it is with the church in pastor. The ones who will probably get hurt the most are the children. Some of them are driven back to the streets, because they couldn�t handle the divorce. Others go and stay with someone else; the home becomes completely broken. Even when the church marries again, the poor pastor coming in sometimes find it very �hard going� because the children are thinking of their other spiritual father. The successful pastor/church marriage will be one where the pastor comes in, and is allowed to be the head of the house without being dictated to by the wife (the board). If it is a good union and marriage the wife will submit to the vision of her head, the children will fall in line, and they will be successful and giving birth to many more children into the kingdom of God. They will go on to impact their City, State, Nation, and World. The children in this household of faith will eventually grow up with a good spiritual education, move out to start spiritual households of their own, and eventually start giving birth to their own children in the Lord. There is so much more I can say, but I�ll stop here and trust that the Holy Ghost will illumined your understanding in these matters concerning pastor/church marriage. You are always welcome to email or give me a call if you have any further comments or question. It is and has been my prayer that God would grant you understanding in the wisdom and knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlighten that you may know what is the hope of His calling. Blessings and Honor, Pastor David W. Foster Sr. Founder/President of Son of God Ministries, Inc. P.S. As of this writing we are still in search of our spiritual soul mate. I have no ties to any church at this time so feel free to email me, or call for my resume and ministry materials. God bless! |
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| This entire website is designed and created by Pastor David W. Foster, President and founder of Son of God Ministries, Inc., P.O. Box 46514, Little Rock, AR 72214 (501) 280-9991.. All of the teachings on this site are copy written and may not be reproduced in whole or part without the express written conscent of Pastor Foster, and Son of God Ministries, Inc. [email protected] or [email protected] . This page was last updated 12-10-2002 |
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