This is the last lesson in our True Love Waits series and concludes with an opportunity for teens to take the True Love Waits Pledge. You may want to have copies of the pledge available for them to sign.

Lesson Outline:

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8
God wants you to be holy and to stay away from sexual sins. He wants each of you to learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable. Don't use your body for sexual sin like the people who do not know God. Also, do not wrong or cheat another Christian in this way. The Lord will punish people who do those things as we have already told you and warned you. God called us to be holy and does not want us to live in sin. So the person who refuses to obey this teaching is disobeying God, not simply a human teaching. And God is the One who gives us his Holy Spirit. (New Century Version)

For God wants you to be holy and pure and to keep clear of all sexual sin so that each of you will marry in holiness and honor-not in lustful passion as the heathen do, in their ignorance of God and his ways. And this also is God's will: that you never cheat in this matter by taking another man's wife because the Lord will punish you terribly for this, as we have solemnly told you before. For God has not called us to be dirty-minded and full of lust but to be holy and clean. If anyone refuses to live by these rules, he is not disobeying the rules of men but of God who gives his Holy Spirit to you. (The Living Bible)

In these verses, God's plan for our sexuality is laid out in clear terms:

1) God wants you to be holy.

I like the fact that this command is right there at the beginning. All through this True Love Waits series we've been telling you that God wants more than just your virginity, God wants your chastity.

As a reminder, what is chastity? (It is purity of life - not just sexual purity, but holiness)

2) God wants you to avoid sexual sins

While God wants our chastity, more than our virginity, the fact remains that if we are going to be pure, we must avoid sexual impurities. But how does one go about avoiding sexual sins?

3) God wants you to learn self control so that one day you can marry with honor.

Look at 1 Thessalonians 4:4. The New Century Version tells you to learn to control your own body. The Living Bible tells you to marry with holiness and honor. Really both is right. When Paul wrote 1 Thessalonians 4:4 he used an interesting phrase. Literally the words he uses say "each one should aquire his own vessel in holiness and honor." But phrases have a way of taking on interesting meaning. The clich� "to acquire one's own vessel" were sometimes used to mean: "to learn self-control." At other times the clich� meant "to get married."

So, what does Paul mean when he says that God wants us to acquire our own vessel in holiness and honor?

Well, it's possible he means both. After all, it is clear that God wants us to be able to marry in holiness and honor. In Hebrews 13:4 God tells us "Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins (NCV)." God takes marriage seriously and wants us to as well.

But in order for us to be able to marry honorably, we must learn to control our own bodies now. The future goal of an honorable marriage takes a conscious commitment now to control our own desires - and we'll talk more about that later.

4) You can't control your body in holiness and honor if you let lust run your life.

That's what we meant by "Chastity begins between the ears, not between the sheets." Purity begins with the mind and heart - our actions flow out of our attitudes. And Paul makes it clear, if we want holiness and honor in our lives, we cannot let lust reign in our thoughts.

5) Violating God's design for sexuality is a sin, not only against God and our own bodies, but against others as well.

Paul comes right out and says it - don't sin against a brother or sister in this matter. Your purity is not only a gift to God, but it is a gift to your future spouse and children. Violate the principle of purity and you give a soiled self to your future mate. In the video we watched at our Lock-in, "Sex, Lies and the Truth", one of the girls interviewed said she looked forward to the day she could offer her purity to her future husband and say "See, I loved you before I knew you; I've saved myself for you." Really I think that's a good way of looking at it. If we violate our call to purity we sin against our future spouse, but if we fulfill our vow, we have this great gift to give.

That brings us to the True Love Waits Pledge. We've talked for weeks now about God's call for us to live pure lives. We've talked about the truth of God's design for sexuality, about the benefits of following that design and the consequences of violating it. We've talked about the lies popular media tries to sell us and the real dangers pornography poses to those who want to be pure.

We've almost talked this subject to death - now it's time to do something about it. At the heart of True Love Waits is the TLW pledge which says: "Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."

Let's look at the pledge for a second.

First it says, "Believing that true love waits . . ." This commitment isn't a commitment of fear, of guilt or of shame. This is a commitment based in love:

A love for God that says "God I love you enough to honor you with the way I live and the choices I make."

A love for ourselves that says, "I love myself enough to want the very best - even if that means waiting right now."

A love for our family and friends that says "I love you all enough to live my life as an example of God's plan."

A love for our future spouse and children that says "See, even before I knew you, I loved you enough to keep myself pure for you."

Second, the pledge says "I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children." We said early on the goal of a future, honorable marriage, takes a purposeful, conscious commitment now to learn a life of self-control. The True Love Waits pledge is that conscious commitment. It says "I'm not leaving this to chance anymore. I'm not going to fly by the seat of my pants. I'm not going to simply let the chips fall where they may. I'm going to decide now so when the time comes I'll know how to behave."

Third, there's the heart of the commitment: "I make a commitment . . . to remain sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship." The commitment itself has two parts, an intended behavior and an intended end.

The intended behavior is pretty simple, to remain sexually abstinent. Simply put, the commitment says I won't have sex. Period. No loopholes, no excuses. I won't. But we all know there's more to chastity than just avoiding sex. I want you to take this pledge to the next step. Move beyond promising to avoid intercourse. Promise God you will remain sexually pure, because, after all, that is what he is looking for.

The intended end is pretty clear. Until the day I enter into a biblical marriage relationship. The media tells you that sex is for mature, committed relationships. It's not for people who are too young, too immature, or not in love. But that's the trick, make the lie sound true and people will buy in. In God's design, sex isn't for those who are mature enough, committed enough, or old enough. God's design is for people who are married. And, like I've said before, this is where all too often TLW pledges fall short. The government's study of purity pledges reveals that those who make them do tend to wait longer to have sex, but they too often fail to wait until they are married. Waiting an extra two-years to lose your virginity doesn't make premarital sex any more acceptable in God's eyes. Wait until you are married.

End by inviting teens to make the True Love Waits pledges for themselves.

Sketch by Rev. Bradley Buhro
February 2001; All rights reserved
Permission is granted to reproduce this lesson for use in a local church or school setting.