Mark was eleven years old the first time it happened. He was sleeping over at his friend Tim's house when Tim told him about some magazines his dad had in the basement. Together they went down into the basement and spent the day thumbing through magazines full of glossy photos of naked and half-naked women. Mark had never seen anything like this before and he liked what he saw.

Even after Mark left he found himself thinking a lot about what he had seen in Tim's basement. The pictures played through his mind at the weirdest times and he couldn't seem to get rid of the thoughts.

Not that he really wanted to though. Every chance he got, Mark went over to Tim's house and revisited the secret stack of fantasy women. Mark and time still played basketball together. They still rode bikes around the neighborhood. They still watched cartoons and sitcom reruns together. But they found themselves doing these things less and less. More and more they found themselves in the basement looking through magazines.

Over the next few years, their interest in these things grew and grew. Mark and Tim discovered Tim's father's video collection and figured out how to make copies of the best movies, which Mark hid away at home to watch later. But one day Mark hit a gold mine.

He was on the Internet and often enjoyed "chatting" with friends in a chat room when someone sent a email with an attached file. When he downloaded the file, an arrangement of ten photos appeared on his screen, showing men and women in different sexual activities. Mark saved the file and learned from his new friend where he could find more--and more perverse--pictures, stories and movie clips online. Mark told Tim about his discovery and together they began to create their own collection of porn, not in piles of magazines in the basement, but stacks of files and folders on their hard drive.

What began as a harmless game between friends grew to become an obsession for Mark. By the time he was 13 he had a huge collection of these pictures and stories. When Mark was 14, he disappeared. Later, authorities examining Mark's computer discovered he had been lured into meeting an online friend - a meeting from which he never returned. (Source: _Handbook for Counseling Youth_ by Josh McDowell and Bob Hostetler; "gently" edited for incorporation in a youth lesson by myself.)

What this story reveals, first and foremost, is that chastity isn't just about avoiding intercourse, it's about remaining pure. There is one area of sexual impurity which is capturing more and more young people every year, that of pornography. So called promoters of "free speech" and "sexual freedom" will tell you that pornography is an innocent diversion with no real victims, and thus should be permitted. Some porn pushers will even try to tell you that pornography is a healthy safety-valve which some people in society can use to release sexual tension before they get pushed over the edge into sexual violence. But porn has some very real dangers. And it's a very real problem.

What is pornography?

One author - Langly Longford - defines it as "That which exploits and dehumanizes sex so that human beings are treated as things and women in particular as sex objects." (Source: Quoted in _Helping the Struggling Adolescent_ by Les Parrott III) Really I think that is a pretty good definition; Pornography twists and distorts the God-given design for sex. Remember in our Truth and Consequences lesson we talked about God's design for sex. We discovered that God created sex for three reasons:

• For Reproduction (Genesis 1:18)
• For Union - bonding husband and wife together as one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
• For Captivation - the pleasure of a husband and his wife (Proverbs 5:18-19)

Pornography is media which explicitly depicts sex in such a way that it perverts God's design. In pornography, sex is:

• Dehumanized - Men and women surrender to their basic animal instincts
• Disconnected - It no longer serves as a bond between partners, but rather is merely recreational and without consequence.
• Objectified - participants, women especially, become objects used by their partners for their own satisfaction. There is not longer an emphasis on sex as a means to providing pleasure for a husband and wife, but rather, sex itself becomes the goal and the participants are no longer concerned for anyone but themselves.

How big a problem is it?

Pornography used to be hidden in the back alleys of the big cities and small rooms in the back of video stores. Today, Pornography has laid waste to our cultural landscape and is everywhere we turn. How wide spread is porn? A US Senate Judiciary Committee report states that so-called "adult" bookstores out number McDonald's restaurants in America by a ratio of at least three to one. (Source: _Handbook for Counseling Youth_)

But that shouldn't trouble us, right? After all, we're teens and you have to be 21 to go into an adult bookstore, right? Porn is a problem adults have to worry about not us teens . . .

Except it is a problem for teens. Mark was 11 when he first encountered pornography. It's not just something adults encounter. In fact, in 1987, one study discovered that as much of 70% of America's pornography ends up in the hands of minors (Source: _Helping the Struggling Adolescent_). 70%, and that was before email and world wide web found it's way into almost every home. That was before porn could be found for free in the privacy of one's own bedroom with no one around except a computer screen. I wonder how much porn finds it's way to the eyes of teens and children now.

This is a problem facing teens.

[Ask for ten teens to volunteer to come up front. Explain to them:]

First, you are no longer yourselves, you represent the Junior High population at your school. So I don't want you standing or sitting based on whether or not you yourself have done these things, but rather I want you to stand or sit reflecting how many, in every ten American Junior Highers, have done these things.

Now, for our first challenge, I've lined up ten average Junior Highers here, and you're all guys. Out of ten average Junior High guys, how many of you have not seen X-ratexd, hardcore pornography - not just pictures of nude women in a magazine, but pictures, video or stories of sexual intercourse. I want the number of average Junior High guys, out of ten, who haven't seen hardcore porn to sit down. Talk about it together, figure out who needs to stand and who needs to sit and give me an answer.

[Once they have decided how many should sit down, adjust, if necessary their estimate, so that only one of the ten is sitting.]

That's right, in a study by Dr. Jennings Bryant, 91% of Junior High guys have seen explicit, hardcore pornography.

Now, stand back up. We're going to do the same thing again; only this time you represent average Junior High girls. Out of ten, how many average, Junior High girls, how many haven't seen explicit, hardcore porn.

[This time two should be sitting.]

They tell us that porn is largely a guy's problem, but the fact is, the same study showed that of Junior High girls, 82% had seen hardcore porn.

[Thank them for volunteering and ask them to return to their seats. (Source for these two stats: _Handbook for Counseling Youth_.)]

Now, thank goodness we're not average Junior Higher's - right? I mean, we're church kids; we go to youth group; we don't do that sort of stuff - right? Wrong. Whn josh McDowell put out his book "Right from Wrong" he did a survey of 3,765 evangelical youth group teens - in other words, people just like us - and they discovered that in the three months immediately before the survey, one in six of the church teens had watched an X-rated movie.

[Do the math, for your group, how many would one in six be (In a youth group of 12 that would be two; 18, three; 24, four; 30, five; 300, fifty, etc.)]

That's right, if our group is "average" in this room there are at least y-number of teens who in the last three months, not ever, but in the last three months alone, have watched an X-rated movie. And that's not counting the number that have looked at porn in a magazine, in a book or on the net. This isn't a problem "they" have. This is a problem for us.

But what's the Big Deal?

I mean, after all, pornography doesn't hurt anyone, right? I mean the actors get paid, the producers make money, and the people watching have a good time. It's not like pornography is killing anyone - so what's the big deal?

Porn might seem like a victimless act, but the fact is porn has some very dangerous effects on people. Pornography profoundly effects people who indulge in it in many ways.

First it warps how we relate to other, people, potentially destroying our relationships with the ones we love most. It does this in a number of ways:

It turns us into Voyeurs.

Webster defines a Voyeur as: "One obtaining sexual gratification from seeing sex organs and sexual acts; broadly : one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means." Did you catch that: "one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means." A voyeur seeks sexual satisfaction in what they see. A steady diet of pornography gradually shifts our appetites so that we are no longer satisfied in the mature, meaningful parts of relationships, but rather in merely in what we see. Gradually we stop finding satisfaction in intimacy and connectedness but rather in visual cues.

It objectifies others.

As we hinted earlier, in pornography, sex is not a means to the desired end of mutual bonding and pleasure. Sex isn't one way for a husband and wife to reach the goal of intimacy together. Sex itself becomes the end; sex becomes the goal. And relationships, stop being the goal, but instead become a tool used to arrive at the goal of sexual stimulation. Rather than using sex to deepen the relationship between two married people, people are used to get sex.

It promotes a false view of reality.

Pornography, like much of the media, is about the beautiful people, who beyond being some of the most attractive people in society are further enhanced by technology to become unrealistically beautiful. Imperfections are erased in pictures with an airbrush. In video, they're erased by a make-up artist and strategic lighting and camera angles. As pornography makes objects out of people, it also teaches us to judge these objects on an unrealistic standard, which even the models and actors on which they are based cannot even live up to.

When these three results of pornography are combine our relationships with the people we love are destroyed. True love and intimacy can no longer be achieved. Intimacy can not be achieved by visual stimulation alone. You cannot love an object. And we drive people away by our unrealistic standards.

Secondly, Pornography destroys our sexuality.

It leaves us dissatisfied

Several studies, including one by Professors Dolf Zillman of Indiana University and Jennings Bryant of the University of Houston, have revealed that repeated exposure to pornography results in increased dissatisfaction with one's real life partner. Porn doesn't make you a better lover, it destroys your ability to enjoy sex once you become married. (Source: An essay entitled "The Subtle Dangers of Pornography" which can be found at pureintimacy.org)

It warps our view of sex.

The Zillman/Bryant study also revealed that repeated exposure to porn decreases the value we place on faithfulness and increases the value we place on sex without attachment. Sex is no longer for union. Another study discovered porn leaves the impression with viewers that sex has no relationship to privacy, is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage, that deviant sexual practices are more common than they really are, and that irresponsible sex has no consequnences. Not only will porn not make you a better lover, but it will lie to you about what sex is about. (Same source)

It leads to sexual addiction

Not only does porn make viewers more dissatisfied with their sexual partners, it also makes them more dissatisfied with pornography itself. Studies reveal that sexual arousal diminish with repeated exposure to sexual scenes and consumers, no longer excited by the depiction of common sexual scenes begin to seek out more explicit and more deviant depictions to find that same excitement they used to feel. It becomes an addiction. (Same source.)

It can lead to sexual violence.

Psycologist Edward Donnerstein found that brief exposure to violent forms of pornography can lead to antisocial behavior. Men tend to become more aggressive toward women, and more calloused to the pain and suffering of rape victim. Porn teaches viewers the lie that women secretly desire to be raped and that rape is not a criminal offense. (Source: "The Pornography Plague" available online at http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/pornplag.html). Another study, published in Psychology Today, found that 41% of participants who viewed a scene in which women were depicted as being aroused while being raped said that after seeing that scene they might rape if they could be certain they wouldn't be caught. (Source: _Helping the Struggling Adolescent_).

Thridly, pornography destroys our mind.

It leaves vivid, and often unwanted memories in our mind

According to the AFA Journal, when one views pornography, the brain releases the hormone Epinephrine which solidifies the memories of what is seen in the mind (Source: _Handbook for Counseling Youth_). These memories are vivid and often invade the thoughts of the viewers event when they do not want to think about them. It's often almost imnpossible to forget these images, no matter how hard one tries. The memories stay with you.

It makes us live in fear and shame.

Most people who play with pornography do so in secret and must fear being discovered.

It fills our life with guilt.

Let's face it, the very fact that we don't want other people to know teaches us that deep down inside we know that pornography is wrong. The very fact that we get embarrassed at the notion other people might know what we're looking at demonstrates that it is wrong. Often, this knowledge that pornography is a violation of God's plan for our lives fills us with guilt, especially if, in our addiction, we cannot seem to break free from pornography's hold.

We've been talking all along about God's design for sex. We've talked about the fact that God created sex for you, and he designed it to serve as a bonding agent and source of pleasure for a man and woman who are married.

Pornography, however, violates that plan, teaching us that sex is for recreation and is acceptable, even desireable, apart from attachments and commitment.

What is more, Porn violates God's design for humanity. People matter to God. People matter so much that he sent his son Jesus Christ to die to rescue us from the eternal consequences of our sin. But in pornography people don't matter - pleasure does. People are mere objects to be used in the pursuit of pleasure.

That's why Jesus teaches us not to lust. In Matthew 5:27-28 Jesus says "You have heard it said 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

In other words Jesus says "You've heard all along that you should sin sexually by sleeping with someone who isn't your spouse. But there's more to purity than that. Using your imagination to someone into an object to be used to satisfy your own sexual whims and fantasies is itself a sexual sin."

That's why we say, Chastity doesn't begin between the sheets, Chastity begins between the ears.

Is pornography warping the way you view other people?

Is pornography polluting your mind?

Is pornography destroying your relationships, not only with others, but most importantly your relationship with God?

If so, the place to start is clear - The Bible teaches us that if we have sinned - whether with pornography, or in any other area of our lives, we simply need to confess that sin and God will be faithful to forgive us.

[Lead the teens into a time of prayer for purity.]

Sketch by Rev. Bradley Buhro
January 2001; All rights reserved
Permission is granted to reproduce this lesson for use in a local church or school setting.