It was just another evening after a meeting. Mrs. Weasley had started to clear up the table, and Remus Lupin had gathered the sheets of paper for safekeeping. Tonks was playing with her hair, changing it into different colors, as she helped carry the used cups away from the room. Severus Snape rose from his seat, stretching his stiff muscles as he stood.

�I�ll take a walk for a while,� he announced. Nobody responded. Remus just nodded vaguely at him before turning back to the blueprints he had been examining.

He grinned wryly. There was no love lost between him and these people. Except maybe Albus Dumbledore. But the Hogwarts Headmaster had left much earlier. There were pressing matters that had to be attended to at the school.

Severus opened the door and left the room. He breathed the musty air in the hall. For some reason, no matter how much the Weasley kids cleaned it, the Black house never really smelled fresh. There was always an air of� finality. The house had been more than a home. It had been the vein of the Black bloodline�headquarters of generations of Dark Wizards. It would be hard to clean centuries of magical filth.

He passed the curtain that screened Lady Black�s portrait. It wasn�t hard for him to be discreet. He never really made much noise even in normal surroundings. He finally got out of the door and closed it behind him. He stared at the house as he walked away. The grim windows glared back. It wasn�t made to be a cheerful place. The base of The Order of the Phoenix. Who would ever have guessed?

He snorted, putting his hands in his pockets as he walked down the driveway. He was dressed as a muggle tonight�it made it easier to slip in and out of London unnoticed. The scruffy hem of the old Levi�s touched his loafers. The jeans hung on his hips loosely. Thin as he was before, he had lost even more weight during the past two months. Working against one�s powerful, former Master was never an easy job.

He walked silently, staring at the ground. He had not even cut his hair. They hung to his shoulders, unkempt. Black and tangled�as riotous as his life.

What life? He had no life.

He stopped walking at the sound of laughter. He glanced at an open window. A family sat around a kitchen table. The Dad must have said something very amusing as the kids were still rolling around their places with mirth. His lips twitched. It was amazing. No matter how depressing things could become, there would still be people who�d laugh and find something to happy with. But then, they probably had no idea of how their world could fall apart with the coming of the Dark Lord. The old saying was right: ignorance is bliss.

He stopped in front of a tree that stood across an alley. He leaned against it, resting his tired body on the trunk. The rough bark scratched his back through his sweater. But he didn�t really care. He was just grateful for the stability it offered. He dug into his pockets, searching for something. He pulled them out, a cigarette case and a lighter. Squinting, he lit a stick, inhaling deeply as he breathed in the poisonous nicotine he craved. It swirled around his lungs, relieving some of the pain. But not all. Never all.

He exhaled. The smoke spun, traveling like silvery fingers across the cold air. It touched the entrance of the alley briefly, hesitantly, before dispersing into unseen particles, losing themselves into the night.

Like the way he lost him.

But I won�t be gone. I won�t be gone for a very long time.

A wicked smile. The flash of dark eyes gleaming under a starlit sky. The wave of his liquid hair on tanned shoulders.

He had lied. He had touched him� marked him forever with his fire. And where was he now? He was gone.

And, just like before, Severus would be alone. Always alone.

The cigarette fell from his slack fingers, forgotten. The embers flared for one beautiful moment, before dying slowly, disintegrating. Like his tears.

-fin-

(August 2003)

A/N: Written for Sirius Memories - the memorial we hatched up after OotP. I have always been a Severus/Sirius shipper (due to the influence of Tavalya Ra's lovely Love Potion HP) � and this is my first ficlet of that pairing. I hope this won�t be the last as I really love them together. Call me a dreamer, but I think love lasts beyond death. Doesn�t it?