This does not go away.
It is what catches me
by surprise when i forget
that i was pretending,
and when i forget to play pretend.
It sits in me and waits
to fill in empty spaces,
to leak its way out,
making my cheeks wet
and eyes swollen.
I don't want it,
I don't ask for it,
but whatever it is,
it happens to be
the only thing
that never fails.
I fully expect that when i die,
this will be my company;
i am never without this...this it.