OCTOBERARCHIVES

Friday, November 2, 2001

"A Not-So-Funny Sitcom Moment"

How do I get myself into these messes? Ivy is upstairs in the wheelchair I destroyed, just waiting to tell Ethan the truth. Julian and Rebecca are about to get married, even though Julian and I haven't signed our annulment papers. Harper the lawyer is chasing me down so I will sign the annulment papers. The only person I can't find is the one I desperately need to find-Ethan!

Thursday, November 1, 2001

"Run, Theresa, Run"

I can't believe what I just did! How did it ever come to this? I can't think about that right now. I'll think about that tomorrow...when Ethan and I are married!

Wednesday, October 31, 2001

"Trick or Treat?"

I just thought of something. It's Halloween. I'll never forget the Halloween dance at the Youth Center two years ago. I danced with Ethan that night-it felt so good being in his arms. He didn't know who I was back then...but that's certainly changed! Now, we're engaged to be married. Note to self: About that Halloween party...it really wasn't nice to lock Gwen in the closet. I am sorry about that. Another note to self: I wonder if Mrs. Crane's fax has come in yet...

Tuesday, October 30, 2001

"The Fax of Life"

I think I may have gotten a lucky break. Since Ivy's waiting for such an important fax, maybe she won't have time to focus on me! I swear I felt horrible before when she was listing all of my "crimes"-it was like she was one of the police detectives on "Law & Order," just waiting for me to crack. I really don't want to go through that again...especially now that Ethan left and I'm all alone with her. I just pray the fax is good news...maybe that will improve Ivy's mood!

Monday, October 29, 2001

"My, How Things Have Changed"

The last thing I want to do right now is go see Mrs. Crane. But it's important to Ethan, so I will. It's just that every time I'm in the same room as her, I feel so uncomfortable. It's like she's looking for some hidden meaning in every word I say or every expression on my face. If only things with Mrs. Crane could go back to the way they used to be. Before the double-wedding-that-wasn't, she welcomed me into the family with open arms. Now she only wants to shove me out the door!

Friday, October 26, 2001

"Divorce Court"

Yes! Julian got the annulment papers again. That means in just a little while everything will finally be okay! I'm just two signatures away from "happily ever after!"

Thursday, October 25, 2001

"Ethan's Vows...And Mine"

"I give you my heart and my soul, Theresa. And I trust you with them because I know you're the most trustworthy person in the world."
Reading Ethan's wedding vows just about broke my heart. He thinks I'm the most honest and trustworthy person in the world...and here I am keeping the ultimate secret from him! You know what? I'm not going to think about that, because there's nothing I can do about it now. Instead, I'm going to make a vow to myself. Once my marriage to Julian is annulled, I'll never, ever keep another secret from Ethan. And then I'll be able to live up to his wedding vows.

Wednesday, October 24, 2001

"Our Real Marriage License"

Bride's Name: Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald Crane
Groom's Name: Ethan Winthrop (formerly Crane)
Bride's Husband: Julian Crane
Groom's Former Father: Julian Crane

That's just great, Theresa. Just great...

Tuesday, October 23, 2001

"Wedding is a Four-Letter Word"

Looking at that wedding magazine was a big mistake! Every article managed to make me more and more freaked out. "Planning a Wedding on a Budget"..."Making Sure Your First Wedding is Your Only Wedding"..."Why Honesty is the Most Important Ingredient to Any Successful Marriage." It's like every single article was written to make me feel worse and worse. Looking through wedding magazines used to be my favorite pastime...now it's my worst nightmare! (Of course, I have to still read them, or Ethan will get suspicious). Right now, I never want to hear the word wedding again! Or at least until the annulment comes through, so I can finally have a wedding with the man I love!

Monday, October 22, 2001

"The Paper Trail"

Wow...that was a close call. I can't believe Ethan, Ivy, and Rebecca all actually saw the annulment papers. Talk about bad luck. I swear I didn't know how I was going to get myself out of that mess. Luckily, I remembered why I had gone to the Crane mansion in the first place-to get money from Julian. So...when I told Ethan I had signed loan papers, it wasn't really a lie, just more of an elaboration! Anyway, the bigger problem now is that Ethan ripped up the annulment papers-which means Julian has to go through this whole process again. All I know is he better do it quickly-Ethan wants to get married ASAP!

Friday, October 19, 2001

"The Beginning of the End"

So much for thinking that nothing could go wrong at the mansion. Clearly, I was wrong since Mama just tried to kill Julian! Not to mention the fact that Julian tried to kiss me again-yuck! Thankfully I have no memory of kissing him-or making love to him-in Bermuda. I certainly don't want him to kiss me now! Anyway, I wish there were some way to calm Mama down. Maybe now that the annulment papers have finally arrived, she might be less upset. Because my marriage to Julian will finally be over!

Thursday, October 18, 2001

"A Simple Plan"

Okay...I'm on my way to the mansion to see Julian. No matter what Whitney says, nothing is going to go wrong! It's going to be quite simple really. I'm just going to sneak into the library, tell Julian what I need, and then get out of there. The only thing I haven't really figured out is what to tell Ethan about where I got the money. Maybe I can say Luis got a bonus from work....no, then Luis would ask Ethan about it. Or I can say Mrs. Crane gave Mama a bonus...no, Mama would never want to lie. Oh, I know! I can say Julian felt bad about trying to kick Ivy out of the house, so he offered to help Ethan. Okay, that just might work. And it's only an itty-bitty white lie. After all, the money is coming from Julian, I'm just changing the reasons a little bit! Perfect-I have everything worked out!

Wednesday, October 17, 2001

"Every Dark Cloud..."

Yes! I can finally use this horrible situation to do something good! I didn't think anything positive could ever come out of my marriage to Julian, but I was wrong. In fact, I can do the best thing ever-I can help the man I love! I'm going to ask Julian for money to help Ethan get his own law firm off the ground. Luis has always told me you have to "make lemonade out of lemons" and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the worst experience of my life and use it to start a brand new future with Ethan!

Tuesday, October 16, 2001

"Confession"

That was a close one. It's getting harder and harder to keep the truth about my marriage to Julian from Ethan. Father Lonigan was close to telling Ethan everything. The thing is, I don't blame him. He's a man of God-it's his duty to be honest. I'm just saying that the more people know about this, the harder it is to keep the secret. Let's see who in Harmony knows everything at this point-Me, Julian, Whitney, Mama, Dr. Russell, and Father Lonigan. Is that it? I think so...but I'm definitely not happy that the list keeps growing. Although, as long as Ethan isn't on that list, everything will be okay!

Monday, October 15, 2001

"Not-so Wedded Bliss"

I don't know what to do. Ethan wants to get married right away and the truth is so do I, but I just can't...for obvious reasons. All I've ever wanted my whole life is to marry Ethan...and now I can't because of a stupid, stupid mistake I made on one night of my life. But that's not really the issue right now. The issue is that Ethan wants to get married ASAP, and I can't keep coming up with excuses. He's going to start thinking something is wrong. Of course, he'd be right-something is very, very wrong. I'm married to another man-the man he used to believe was his father! Oh Theresa, how are you going to get yourself out of this mess?

Friday, October 12, 2001

"Heading for a Breakdown"

I'm scared...I'm not sure how much more Mama can take. She's usually like a rock-so calm and together. But now, it's like she could crack at any minute. Like tonight...first she dropped the pot she was cooking with, then she burned dinner, and then...my god, she poured a bottle of red ink on my wedding dress! I don't even want to say this, but it's almost as if she's having a nervous breakdown or something. I can't bear the thought that I've hurt my mother this way. I wish I could do something to help her, but how can I when I'm the one who's caused her so much pain? What can I possibly do?

Thursday, October 11, 2001

"Dream on, Dream Away"

What a horrible, horrible night...and it's not even over yet. I swear, I wish I could get into bed and just sleep for hours and hours. And most of all, I wish that when I woke up none of this would ever have happened. It would all just have been a terrible nightmare. Wouldn't it be great if you could like erase a whole day out of your life? That you could go to sleep and wipe out what you wish never happened? Guess what? This one would be one of those days!

Wednesday, October 10, 2001

"To Tell the Truth"

Thank God Dr. Russell saved the day. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if Mama (or Dr. Russell) told Ethan and Luis the truth. They would have killed Julian for sure! They even went after him without knowing the full story! And now Ethan seems ready to kill Julian because of what he did to Ivy (what a monster-tampering with her IV)! Will any of this ever end? Right now, it sure doesn't seem like it.

Tuesday, October 9, 2001

"Spilling Her Guts?"

This is getting way too close for comfort. If I didn't tear Mama away from Luis and Ethan when I did, she would have told them the truth. I could tell...she was just about to spill everything about Julian and me. In fact, I'm not sure how much longer she can hold this in. If Luis keeps questioning her, I think she might explode! And then, God only knows what will happen...

Monday, October 8, 2001

"Mama Mia!"

Oh God, what have I done? If this whole situation with Julian wasn't bad enough, I have absolutely crushed Mama. I've never seen her like this. The way she went after Julian...that wasn't the Mama I know! She had such anger and hatred in her eyes-I practically believed her when she said she could kill Julian. She was like a different person...and it's all my fault! My head is spinning...have I ruined my Mama's spirit and faith forever? Have I killed the person she used to be? Dear Lord, what have I started? What have I done to my dear Mama?

Friday, October 5, 2001

"Slip of the Tongue"

I didn't mean to tell Mama about marrying Julian-I really didn't. But once Mama started questioning me, it all just came out. Well, not all...she still doesn't know Julian and I slept together. I never want her to know that...it would absolutely destroy her! The thing is-I know it hurt Mama to hear about my marriage to Julian, but I feel better now that she knows. The truth is, I don't like hiding anything from her-especially something so big. And it feels right to know that I can turn to her for support in all of this. But right now, I have more important things to worry about than getting hugs and chicken soup! I have to convince Mama to never tell Luis or Ethan. If she did, the worst would be yet to come!

Thursday, October 4, 2001

"A Mother's Love"

I have to find Mama. I'm so glad she's here at the hospital. I can't wait to see her. Just seeing Mama's face always makes me feel better. Part of me wishes I could tell her about what happened with Mr. Crane-just so she could take me in her arms and comfort me. I need that so much right now. But I know I can't tell her. She would be absolutely devastated-and I just couldn't do that to her. Not to mention the fact that she would feel obligated to tell Luis...and then this would turn into an even bigger disaster than it is already! No, as much as I wish I could just confide in Mama, I know I can't. It's the best thing for everyone.

Wednesday, October 3, 2001

"Putting My Foot in my Mouth"

How could I be so stupid? Sometimes I even amaze myself at what comes out of my mouth! How could I have answered to the name "Mrs. Crane?" I mean...hello Theresa...anybody home?! It's a good thing I managed to talk my way out of that one. I can't even imagine what would have happened if the truth had come out right then and there-in front of Ethan and Luis, not to mention Gwen and Rebecca! It would have been like something out of "The Larry Winger Show!" Ethan and Luis would have pounced on Julian and tried to kill him! Rebecca would have pounced on me and tried to kill me! And Gwen would have watched the whole time laughing! What a nightmare...thank God it didn't come true!

Tuesday, October 2, 2001

"The Wedding of My Nightmares"

Everything is just getting crazier and crazier! I can't believe I was about to have a double wedding with Julian-the man I'm already married to! And then the wedding got interrupted because Mrs. Crane (well, I guess technically she's not Mrs. Crane anymore...I am) got struck by lightning! How could that have possibly happened? It's not like Ivy tends to parade around in thunderstorms in her Manolo Blahnik shoes and Prada pantsuits! Well, no matter how it happened, I pray that she's okay. Ethan would die if anything happened to her...especially now that Sheridan is gone. Well, I guess we're all headed back to Harmony now...and not a moment too soon!

Monday, October 1, 2001

"If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say"

I don't usually like to speak badly about other people, but there's no other way to say this-Julian Crane is a pig! To actually suggest that we stay married-he must be completely out of his mind. There's no way I would have married him if I hadn't been drunk. And I'd have to be a lot more than drunk to stay married to him! Even if I weren't madly in love with Ethan, Julian is old enough to be my father. No wait-make that my grandfather! And the way he talks about us...um...sleeping together is disgusting! It's like he wants to do it again. Yuck! I guess I'm living proof that Julian is exactly what I've always heard he is!