Faith
 
 
 

"Hi honey.  Miss me?"

"Buffy.."

No it's not Riley mouse in the sack Finn.  It's Angel.  I decided after Riley's little display last night that B never really told me what it was like to screw a demon.  Guess I'll have to find out for myself.

"Buffy what are you doing here?" Angel asks putting down his book.

"Here to see you, silly," I laugh walking into his office wearing B's leather pants, black halter top and hooker boots.  I lean over his desk.  "So did you?"

"What?"

"Miss me?"

"Buffy what's wrong with you?" he asks looking me straight in the eye.

"Nothing.  I've had an epiphany.  I realised I miss you Angel."

"I miss you too," he says quietly.  "You know I do.  But we're moved on."

"Well I don't wanna pretend anymore," I smirk walking round his desk to him.  I slide backwards into his lap.  "I want you back Angel.  In every sense."

I go to kiss him but he puts his hand between our mouths.

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What about Riley?"

"He's nothing.  You're everything."

"Buffy you can't talk like that," he says standing up and placing me upright.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Give me a reason."

Buffy  (A few hours ago)
 

"Where is she?  Where's Faith?" I ask Riley.  He just stares at me.  He can't even tell.  Why can't he tell?

"Faith.."

"Fine, Buffy.  Where's Buffy?"

"Who are you?"

"Where is she?" I ask desparately.  She's out for a major crush kill destroy Buffy's life and unless Riley helps me, I can't do anything about it.  I should of went to Giles.

"She took off."

"Where?"

"She said she was going out of town."

"Where?"

"Who--"

"WHERE?" I yell.  I feel bad but he think I'm Faith - actually he doesn't.  He has no idea.  None.  Why can't he tell?

"LA.  She said she had to see someone."

"LA?" I echo.  Angel.  Angel.  She's went to hurt him- again.

I can't let her do that to him.  I don't mean that.  Because I know he won't sleep with her.  I mean neither would Riley.  But Angel defenitely wouldn't.  He wouldn't do that to me.  Or to him.

Despite the fact we both want it so badly.

But he won't.

No.  I didn't mean we want to.  Sure we did want to.  Did.  As in of the very dusty past.

No, what I mean by hurt, is say all these things in my body.  Dredge up everything just to hurt him.  I can't let her.  I love him too much.

Loved.  I loved him too much.

God who am I kidding?  Am I running like Hell to the bus station, pushing myself to the limit, for someone who means nothing to me anymore?

OK Buffy bad choice of words and phrasing was crappy.  Angel will always mean so much because he was my first - love and my first first. But he means so much becuase he's Angel.

And i still love him.

It's just a bit obvious dontcha think?  But we don't get to say it because it's too... Buffy and Angel tragic couple, can't touch, can't kiss, can't see each other and can't.. y'know.

  Faith

I go to kiss Captain Undead America again but he pushes me off.

"What's wrong with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me baby."

"No there is," he accuses.  "Buffy would never do that.  Not the Buffy I fell in love with."

"College changes people for the better.  I'm all grown up now," I purr leaning right across the table.  Angel jumps back like he's been shocked.  "And I bet you.. that the curse is all kissed better by now.  Y'know there's only one way to test out that theory."

"Buffy.."

"I could ride you until you go blue in the face which of course you wouldn't being a big manly non-breathing vampire now.  College is some teacher..  I know things that would scare the demon out of you and keep you coming all night long, begging me to bruise you more," I grin.

"What's wrong with you.. You're acting more like... Faith," he says looking at me turning his head.

"Don't you wish I was Faith?  She's a bad girl.  And you wanna hurt Faith because of what she did to you.. What she did to us."

"Tell me you love me," he says quizically.

"I love you."

"Really Faith?" he smirks.  "So how'd you do this?  Astral projection?  Magick?  Appearance modfication?  Face Off?"

"What.. what.. I'm.."

"Faith.  Did you honestly think you could fool me?  I can feel Buffy.  Inside.  From the moment you walked in I never felt it.  Not a bit.  And when you said you loved me, I can tell.  The way Buffy says it, the way her voice rises and falls..  You couldn't imitate that ever.  So where's Buffy?  What'd you do to her?"

"I'm Buffy!" I scream at him furious.  How CAN he know?

"No, I'm Buffy."

I spin round and there she is in my goddamn temple.  Bitch.
 

Buffy

What the Hell has she done to him?

Angel's not looking at me or my body.  He can't..  Because I look like Faith.  And my body looks like Faith.

"No, I'm Buffy," I smile at her.

"I know," Angel nods.  "We have to get you two back.. somehow."

"What if i don't want to," Faith says folding my arms.  God that's creepy.

"Sorry Faith but you don't get a choice just like I didn't get a choice when you wanted to do a little body swap experientation."

"Maybe I should go back to Sunnydale and see Riley.  He's the only one who likes the New You."

"What are you talking about?" I ask her.

She cups her mouth sideways and whispers, "He couldn't keep up B."

I walk forward to hit out at her but Angel intervenes to get to me moving quicker than I've seen him.  "Buffy no.  Don't start fighting now."

"She took my body and now she's.. lying."

"Am I?" Faith smirks sitting on Angel's desk crossing her legs and flipping back my hair.  "He makes this little mouse sound when he comes," she says raising her eyebrows.

"He wouldn't.  Not with you.." I spit out.

"Wouldn't he?  I don't think it's true, that blondes have more fun B, but I'm having a whale of a time.  He was too."

I swallow and close my eyes.  You know something?  This doesn't hurt as much as.. It doesn't hurt as much as Angel kissing Faith last year because I told him to.  Oh God.. Let's open the barrier to those painful memories.  I open my eyes and he's staring at me.  With those eyes.

Dammit Angel you can't do that!  You can't look at me those eyes and expect me not to crack!  Those deep chocolate eyes that I used to think I could see my whole world in.  Not anymore Angel.  You left me!  You left me!  The one thing I thought I could always be with and everything would be OK and you left.  Like it was a normal relationship.  The break up.  The avoiding each other.  The arguing in the street because I thought you didn't love me anymore..
 

Faith

She's.. crying?  What?  I never even said anything.  She just closed her eyes and then burst out into sobs and started to shake while tears came down my face.  And Angel's standing there like he doesn't know what to do.  He doesn't step forward to comfort her or anything..

Dammit.  Guess It's all me.  I jump off the desk and slowly move into a hug with her.  She gratefully accepts - the hell why I don't know -  And grips onto my shoulders while shaking and crying more.  I look past her shoulder and see Angel backing up slowly, just looking at her.

"Hey," I say softly calling him over.  "You wanna take over?"

He looks at me and then relents.  He walks over and slowly slips his arms around Buffy who cries softer against him.
 

Buffy

He feels so good, so..  God I miss him.  Which sets me off on new tears all-bloody-over again.  I hate this.  i hate the power he has over me.  He never even GODDAMN SAID anything and here I am, like some Cry-Cordelia.  And Christ, I let Faith comfort me even though she stole my body and everything, I was *grateful* for her/my arms around me.  Then should told Angel to come forward.  He did and he wrapped his strong beautiful arms around me and held me close as I went catatonic.  What the HELL is wrong with me?

I wish I could stay Faith.  She could go back to Sunnydale in my body and be Good Little Slay Buffy, kill things - I mean demons, keep Xander and Willow happy that I'm not with Angel, fuck Riley occansionally - I'm not missing anything.  And I could stay in his apartment forever.  Just being with him.

Sounds great.  I look up at him, in those eyes and he dries my tears and sshhs me, calming me.  Without thinking, I reach up and kiss him deeply, not letting him pull away.  And he kisses me back, pulling my body up and closer to him.  Then i break away and fall out of his embrace.

"It doesn't matter who you look like, I know it's you inside," Angel says softly outstrechting his hand.

"Thanks!" Faith scoffs and sits in his chair.

I reach out and take his hand, letting him wrap me up in him again.

"Oh Angel," I whimper between furious kisses.

"Buffy," he moans kissing everywhere on me.  Then he stops and pulls away from me.  He snarls and beats his fist on the table behind him.

"What?"

"Is it me?" Faith asks.  "Should I leave for this reconcilation moment?"

"Stay there.  You're not going anywhere with my body," I tell her without turning round.  "What is it Angel?"

"You have a boyfriend now.  Whatever his name is," Angel growls low.

"Crappy-Lay?" Faith offers.

"Riley," I say out loud.  "Right."

"You know," Faith says leaning back in the chair.  "Riley told you he loves you for the first time last night."

"What?"

"He really never knew it was you."

"You slept.. you slept with him before you.. loved him?" Angel asked, cut to the bone.  I give him a look.  He takes his eyes away from me and nods.  "Sorry.. I'm just.. Old fashioned and would of thought it should of meant something and all.. But never mind," he growls.

"Angel.. It wasn't the first time."

"What?"

"It's your fault Mr Leave-Me-For-My-Own-Good.  So desparate to get you off my skin, I slept with the college jerk, Parker something.  Your fault."

"My fault?  I don't think I'm the one who f--"

"Angel it wa--"

"I don't thi--"

"Don't try--"

"I STILL LOVE YOU!" He yells over me.  I stop trying to argue with him.  He closes his eyes briefly.  "Sorry.. Sorry.. I just.."

"Yeah.." I nod.  "I still love you."

"Doesn't matter," he sighs.  "Go home."

"What?"

"Go home Buffy.  Take Faith and go home.  You'll find some way to switch back..  Just go," Angel says nearly begging me.  Why?  Why go?  We just admitted we still love each other!  I don't wanna go!

"Please," he adds.  Faith gets up and comes over and takes my shoulders.

"Come on Buffy," she says.  "I decided that it sucks being you so we get another magick thingy or whatever.."

It sucks being me?  You don't know the half of it.

"Angel," I say softly.  "Don't ask me to leave.. Let me stay.. We could work something out.."

"No," Angel says swallowing.  "I'm so sorry Buffy.  No.  Please.."

"Go.  Fine Angel.  Why don't you decide when to grow up and realise what you've just did."

"Buffy.."

"I'm gone Angel," I say at him flashing anger in my eyes.  I spin on my heel and walk out.
 

Faith

Buffy looks at Angel like she wants to kill him, a look I've seen in those eyes too often.  In me.

"Listen Angel.. I'm.. Gonna swap back.  And... I can't screw with B anymore.  When you think about it, I've had a better life than Buffy.  I've never fallen in love with a vampire who rejects me every time I break down in tears in front of him and my worst enemy."

He looks at me and nods knowingly.  "If you knew Faith," he says softly.  "You know what it's like to be her.  You don't know what it is to turn her away.  It's killing."

I give him a nod and walk after my body.  Believe it or not I can't wait to get back in me.  Feel my skin and hair again rather than B's.  The Mayor was wrong.  There might not be a place for me in this world but it ain't over.  Doesn't mean I can't sure as Hell carve myself a place.  Which is what I plan to do.

Weird how it took me slipping inside B's body to realise the real me.  For the first time since that night patrolling with B, I couldn't see the blood on my hands and I got a taste of what it was like to be free.  But it wasn't real.  It can be.  Angel's doing redemption, why not me?

I won't be going out with a bang but I'll be living one.  I think I get who I am.

I'm Faith, the Vampire Slayer, and you are?