Synopsis
HANGING ON BY A THREAD - In the concluding part, Cordelia, Gunn, Wesley and Fred think Angel seems to be getting on better, not noticing he is at the end of his world and ready to take his own life. Not to mention the coming apolcalypse

Authors Note
Concluding part to Living With Loss.  Fred.  Like her.  Not sure how to write her.  V.confused.  Would like feedback on Fred-ness.
 

Regular Cast
David Boreanaz as Angel
Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase
Alexis Denisof as Wesley Wyndam Price
J. August Richards as Charles Gunn
Amy Acker as Fred

Guest Cast
Elisabeth Rohm as Kate Lockley
Annette Antoniette
Boyfriend and Girlfriend
 

PREVIOUSLY ON ANGEL
 

ANGEL:  "There's no place like.. Willow?"

WILLOW:   "It's Buffy."
 

ANGEL:  "I don't really believe you're gone Buffy.  Not you.  You're not gone.... I love you.."
 

CORDELIA:  "It's Buffy.  OK?  They had the whole Soulmate Can't Ever Be complex.  You can't tell me that he put a band aide over his heart and he'll be 'fine'...  He's got back from a three month jaunt to Sunnydale and you're telling me he'll be fine."
 

KATE:  "What about me?" Kate asked.
ANGEL:  "What about you?  You.. want to help?"
 

WESLEY:  "..200 years ago, twins were secretly born to Marie Antoniette and King Louis..  Jean Jacque..  He froze them in time, letting them reek revenge on the future for the demise of France and of their crown."
 

ANNETTE:  "Hate.  Evil.  Suffering.  Murderers, rapists, gangs, theives.  You trying to tell me this is a  world worth saving?"
 

CORDELIA:  You just left.  With Willow.  After..  You and Willow just drove back to Sunnydale.  You never called me.  I never saw you until the funeral...  I needed my best friend Angel.  I needed him and I know he needed me to be there for him.

Angel scanned the warehouse for any escape routes.  He saw a smashed window letting the moonlight spill in and letting Annette out.
 
 

TEASER
 
 

Angel dropped the dagger, staring at the broken window and held his head.  He never noticed that his right hand was cut until now.  It hurt to twist it to the right so he kept it still.  He turned to Wesley, Gunn, Cordelia, Fred and Kate who had unblocked the door, ready to venture out.

"How'd you get it?" Angel asked, walking over.

"Easy peasy," Cordelia waved a hand.  "It was so easy, I surprise myself."

"So.. how?" Angel asked, biting his lip.

"I don't really know.  But never look a giftcow in the mouth right?"

"OK, OK.  Let's go," Angel suggested.  Everyone agreed and they looked outside for any vampires, demons or anything else.

"Giftcow?" Wesley hissed at Cordelia.

"Huh?"

"Don't you mean, gift horse."

"Yeah that too," she agreed.

"Clear coast," Gunn reported.  "We heading out or what?"

The gang carefully trooped out, setting their sights on Angel's car.  Angel followed before running back and grabbing the golden dagger and placing it in his coat carefully before catching up with the others.

The warehouse stood empty with an overturned urn and a dead body lying on the ground.  Annette stood up behind a tower of crates, wiping the dust off her pants and walked forward.  She kneeled down beside her brother Tristian, dead by her own hand, and draped his arms over his body and closed his eyes.

"I don't like it here anymore," she whispered, holding his cold, dead hand with her own.
 

ACT ONE
 
 

Everyone was back at the Hyperion, yawning and lying around.  Fred had refused the ride home, wanting to help the gang instead of sleep.  Kate was lying back on the couch opposite Angel who was perched on the edge of the chair.

"Well, I would say that was fun but my lower back would disagree," Gunn groaned, slipping into his desk.  Cordelia brought everyone a drink; varied from water to tea, to extra strong coffee to O-Negative.

Angel took out the knife from inside his coat and placed it in front of Wesley.  "The knife that kills them."

"Goody.  So now you hunt her down, kill her, the red light flashing World Ending!!!! stops.  Right?" Cordelia sipped her bottle of water.  She moved from side to side, streching her spine.

"How can you move?" Kate moaned, her neck aching from whiplash.  "And not feel pain?"

"Oh I feel pain.  But we're used to it.  Looks like the police academy didn't train you guys for the long haul.  That was just another day on the job," Cordelia said, taking another drink.

"We just have to find the next location and since there's only one of them now, we'll easily be able to kill her," Wesley said, studying the inscribings of the dagger.

"I don't think we should kill her," Angel spoke up.  Wesley stopped looking at his book, Kate raised her head off the pillow, Cordelia paused mid strech, Gunn's mouth opened before he made a huh.  Fred just sat there, applying a cold towel to her elbow.

"And why not?  What would you have us do with a girl who clearly has no boundaries and who is Hell bent on killing us all, Angel?" Wesley asked, slightly amused.

"She's scared Wesley.  I think she's unhinged.  She killed her own brother--"

"Which is exactly the reason we should be putting an end to her!" Wesley argued.  "You said it.  She's unhinged."

"Maybe we should do what we're meant to do.  Save someones Soul."

"Or maybe we should do what we're really meant to do.  Save the World."

"Wesley, she's doing this because she feels she has no choice.  The Powers have put her in a Lose-Lose situation that she never chose," Angel pointed out rationally, standing up.

"None of us choose the life we have!  It's the hand we're dealt!"

"This isn't Poker.  This is her forever.  What would you have her do?  If she dies she becomes this lost, lonely, eternal.. ghost.  She thinks if she stops everything, maybe she'll get some peace."

"However insane her logic may be, she still wants to kill us all!" Wesley roared.

"She needs helps. Like Faith did," Angel finished in a low voice.  "I know how she feels."

"Don't you dare play the Faith hand on me again!  I told you not to help Faith like that.  Go against the LAPD and the Watchers Council, but you did and somehow you still blame me for the argument with Buffy and the fight with Riley!"

Angel fell back a few steps like he'd been mortally wounded by her name.  His eyes grew wet and hurt.  A How could you mention her like that? expression.  He paced backwards before turning and running up the stairs like a teenager.  Everyone heard his door slam and rattle the floor boards.

"Well he's getting better?" Cordelia said lightly.  She started streching again.  Cordelia caught sight of her dart board she'd been using for the crossbow practice she'd been working on over the summer.  She walked over and pulled a few stakes out, and expertle loaded them in, talking ehr position behind the piece of red tape affixed to the floor.

She closed one eye and stuck her tongue out.  She aimed carefully, setting the bullseye in her target.  She pulled back the bow and released just as a vision seized hold of her head, making her topple over.  The stake flew up and stuck into the ceiling.  She hit the floor and spasmed violently.

Once she had gained control of most of her muscles, she opened her eyes.

"Not a bad shot," she mused, staring upwards, flat on her back.  Wesley helped her to standing postion.  "It's our girl," she squirmed, feeling aftershocks of the visions.  "She's.. shopping?"

"Which mall?" Gunn asked, helping her up.

"The one.. In Santa Monica.  Recognised it.." Cordelia held her head as Fred brought her bottle of water and gave her two asprin.  "Thanks," Cordelia smiled, surprised.

"You look like you needed it," she explained.

"Anyway.  So she was there.  Shopping.  End of vision.  She had bags and everything.  And not trying to end the world there.  And oh my god, the most gorgeous pair of stillettos on sale at half price."

"Knives?" Gunn asked.

"What?  No.  Shoes.  Little black ones.  Maybe that's the vision.  Telling me of this great bargain.  But I doubt it," Cordelia got up, smoothing herself down.  "We should tell... Him."

"Perhaps.. I.." Wesley stuttered.

"Uh uh.  Common Sense to Wyndam Price," Gunn waved a hand in front of his face.  "I don't think you're the guy he wants to see."

"I'll go," Cordelia started towards the stairs before she fell back into Gunns arms behind her from dizziness.  "Maybe I'll sit here.  And bribe him downstairs with my mind.  Come get cookies Angel.."

"I'll go," Fred offered.  "In Pylea we.. Well I got him to change back from the demon the first time and.. Well maybe I could.."

"Go ahead.  But if he bites your head off, don't blame me," Cordelia lay back in a similar position as Kate.  The two looked at each other.

"Another long haul day on the job huh?" Kate teased.  Cordelia shrugged.
 
 

Angel huddled on a corner of his bed and heard a timid knock on his door.  Then a slightly louder one a few seconds later.

"It's Fred."

Angel hugged his knees to his chest and laid his forehead on them.

The door opened slowly and a face appeared.

"Hi.  I thought I'd tell you.. Um.. Cordelia.  She had an, um, vision of the girl.  Annette.  They're all going after her and I'd thought I'd tell you," she babbled.

When Angel didn't respond, Fred came in and closed the door.  She came over and sat on the mattress.

"Wesley's real sorry.  He never meant to hurt you," Fred said quietly.  Angel looked up at Fred and nodded.

"Where is she?"

"Cordelia?"

"Annette."

"Oh!  I thought you meant.. Anyway, she's at the mall."

"Has she started the ritual?" Angel asked in a dulled voice.

"No no no.  I don't think so.  I think Cordelia said she was shopping or something."

"Shopping?"

"Yeah."

"Not ending the world?"

"No."

"Well they don't need me," Angel clutched his knees tighter.

"They do need you," Fred prodded.  "We can't force you if you don't wanna go Angel."  Fred looked down at her hands and cleared her throat.  "I sorta of know how you feel."

"I doubt that," Angel said coldly.

"My boyfriend Alan.  Well my fiance really.  Only for a couple of nights before I.. Y'know.. but we were getting married.  At college, he was the Physics TA.  Well we fell in love and dated for about four years.  Then I got sucked through that portal to Pylea.  I didn't seen him for five years.  I looked him up as soon as I got back.  It looked like he got married.  With a son.  To some pretty blonde girl," Fred sighed.  "They seemed so happy."

Angel looked at Fred's face.  "It hurts."

"Alot," she tried to laugh.  "I guess my rebound attempt, which was Evil Prince Charming who's now dead didn't work out so well.  Maybe I'm not meant to be in love," Fred shrugged, defeated.

"You are," Angel's voice crackled.

"I don't think so.  He never even seemed like he missed me."

"What did he say?"

"Say?  I never talked to him," Fred admitted.  "I seen them leaving his house. Going to the beach or somethin'.  They looked real happy.  I didn't wanna intrude."

"I'm sorry," Angel said in a low voice.

"It's OK.  I guess I couldn't have expected him to wait."

"Yeah. I guess not."

After a long silence brimmed full of memories, Fred spoke.

"So are they going without you?"

Angel shrugged off his bed slowly and picked up his jacket, heading for the door.
 
 

ACT TWO
 

The whole gang reassembled for another Annette six on one at the shopping mall in Santa Monica.  Angel threw off his blanket and dodged the windows as they ran from the car.

"Where was she last?" Wesley asked Cordelia, toting an axe next to him.

"Shoe shopping.  And since we're here.. Wouldn't hurt to look at those stilettos.." Cordelia hinted.  Everyone turned and looked at her.  "Oh come on what a deal.  If it's not fate I don't get those shoes then what is?"

"I don't know.. Actually prophecies Cordelia?"

"Pfft," Cordelia waved a hand, gripping her axe expertly.

"We're not killing her Cordelia," Angel reminded his friend, as well as all of them.  "OK?  Got that?  We're tying her up and bringing her back to the Hyperion so we can help her."

"Yes, I recall that always works with murderous fiends," Wesley said snidely.

"Worked with Faith," Cordelia interrupted.  "Wesley, this is Angel's gam plan.  Just go with it."

"Angel's game plan?  As I remember rightly, I was put in charge of the group," Wesley stood in front of them all with a mother and her son staring at his weaponery.

"We're just hunting.." Gunn started.

"Rats!"  Fred blurted out.

"Yeah.. Rats.." Wesley said.  "We hunt vermin."

"Where ever they may roam," Angel said quietly.  Wesley caught his eye and nodded.

"Yes.  Where ever," Wesley said just as quietly.  "So we kidnap the girl and then what?"

"You're going with the plan?" Kate blinked.  "And I thought this was going to be a major argument."

"Angel's right.  We should at least try to help her," Wesley swallowed.

"Good," Gunn nodded.  "Glad you children and playing nice together now.  Are we gonna get this floozy or what?"

"Floozy," Wesley repeated quietly with a smile.  "We should split up into the different depart--"

"I take shoes!" Cordelia said immediately.

"I'll go with Bargain Girl," Gunn motioned.

"Very well.  Angel and Kate go to the northern food court part and Fred and I shall take the south," Wesley mapped out the linear shopping mall.

"Break," Kate joked, then turned to see Angel walking quickly up in their direction.  "Hey!"  Angel slowed and turned to let Kate catch up.  "Quick walker."

Angel said nothing and kept walking when she was caught up.  "I'm guessing this is going to be a silent thing..."  When she got no response, Kate sighed and shrugged.  "Angel.. I just want to tell you how sorry I am.  Cordelia told me.  I'm sorry about Buffy."

Angel screeched to an immediate halt.  "Don't."

"What?"

"Pretend you care.  Any of you care.  Because you don't.  And you don't care what I feel and dfon't even prented to know.  And don't ever say her name to me," he said in a steady low voice.  Then he sped off in a power walk and took the escalator stairs two at a time.
 
 

"So how did you get Angel to participate in this?" Wesley asked Fred as Cordelia and Gunn went off in the direction of shoes.

"Similar pain," Fred shrugged.  "Only Alan's not dead."

"Alan?" Wesley questioned, scanning the crowds for the beautiful french Princess.

"My fiance before--" Fred made a sucking noise with her mouth.

"Ah.  And where is he now?"

"Married I think.  Alan wouldn't have a son without getting married first."

"He has a son?"

"Uh huh.  I went to see him when I came back," Fred explained, digging in her pocket for her glasses.  "He was with a really pretty woman and a baby dressed in blue.  Coulda been a girl.  But.."

"..Most likely a boy," Wesley nodded.  "I'm sorry."

"Well my rebound Prince was killed by this chippie so we better find her," Fred said brightly.

"Yes I'd say we'd better."
 
 

"So how come you came with me?  I will be doing a side shopping thing on the side of hunting," Cordelia warned Gunn as they marched.

Gunn shrugged.  "Wasn't the biggest decision of the day Cordy.  Just said it."

"Oh yeah because you're biggest decision is like what?  Burito or french fries?"

"Both," Gunn grinned.

"Whatever," Cordelia rolled her eyes smiling.  "So what was it--"  Her eyes travelled over the shop windows and she froze.  "Oh my god there they are!" She shrieked, running to the store window.  "Seventy-five percent off," she said in a crucial tone.

Gunn smiled and shook his head.  "As much as you think you've grown.."

"Hey!  I have grown buddy.  Just not past the need of shoes," Cordelia added a sly smile.  "Wait a minute.  If I saw these in my vision, and End The World Girl was in it.. That means she's.."

Gunn watched Cordelia's face fall flat as the shop attendant took the shoes from the window and over to Annette.

"Oh my GOD.  That girl has no boundaries."

"We getting fighty?"

Cordelia's face was dark as she saw Annette hand over her visa at the cash desk.  "Oh yeah."

They watched Annette emerge from the shop with a black paper bag with string handles.  She turned round to face the pissed off Cordelia and an amused Gunn.

"Nice bargain huh?" She took her shades off.

"Some would say that what you just did was worse than trying end the universe and all."

Gunn whispered in Cordelia's ear.  "Who?"

"Me."

"How about we do a deal so you and your boyfriend can get going?" Annette offered.

"He isn't my boyfriend!" Cordelia exclaimed.

"What would be so wrong with that Cor?" Gunn demanded, turning to her.  "Not good enough for Princess Chase."

"Shut up Gunn you know what I meant," Cordelia shrugged it off.

He shrugged as well.  "Yeah OK."

"Whatever," Annette rolled her eyes.  She put down the bag and cocked her head to the side.  "Go.  Take it."

"Not that shallow."

Gunn saw Fred and Wesley advancing behind Annette.  Annette threw an arm streched out behind her and whispered three words.  Electricity crackled from her fingertips and shot out, flooring Wesley and Fred.  Shoppers screamed and dove for cover as Annette returned her arm to her side and never moved her stare from Cordelia and Gunn.

"Nice trick," Cordelia commented, trying not to look above.

"Wanna see another?"

Cordelia stepped forward, throwing off Gunns hold on her wrist.

"Let me show you one," Cordelia smiled.

"What are you gonna do?  Mate with a demon in front of her?" Gunn grunted.

"Shut up Gunn," Cordelia snapped, not turning round.  Her glare never edged from Annette.

"So what are you gonna show me?"

"That," Cordelia grinned as Angel descended down from the floor above on top of Annette.  They hit the ground in a heap but it was seconds before Angel was up and holding Annette's hand behind her back.  Cordelia produced handcuffs and they were snapped on Annette's wrists.

Angel noticed she wasn't struggling and turned her round.  He eyes were shut and he heard that her heartbeat had slowed.

"Out cold," Gunn observed.

"Let's get her back to the hotel," Wesley said.

ACT THREE
 
 

Angel stared for a long time at Annette as her gaze floated around his room, sizing the place up, before finally looking at him

"So what?  Am I your prison bitch?" She asked snidely.

Angel shook his head almost regretfully.  "No.  You're not."

"So what then?" She asked impatiently.

"Don't you ever get sick of defining your existence?" Angel sighed.  He went over to his bed and sat on it, his back resting on the wall.

"Huh?"

"I mean.. I'm evil.. I'm good... I'm a waste of space.. I'm humanities Saviour... I'm the PTB's Golden Boy, I'm Wolfram and Hart's screwboy.  I waiting to *live*.  What if I don't wanna wait?"

Annette started humming the Paula Cole song and chuckled.  Angel growled at her.

"If that was a pop culture reference, it was lost on me.  I'm 248 years old."

"Figures."

"Don't you hate being what you are?" Angel asked, frustrated, feeling himself come apart at the seams.

"No.  I love who I am," she spat.  "I love the power.  I love living until I die and then waiting for the universes to bleed into each other so I can get a damn moments peace.  I love that I killed my own flesh and blood.  I love that I'm tied to a chair.  I love that I could command the greatest country in the world and I'm stuck in LA," she said sarcastically.

Angel snorted and stared hard at her.  He was done being understanding and self sacrificial.

"Well what a pair we make.  Because I love the fact I'm a vampire.  I love the fact I like dreams about drinking my friends.  I love not being able to see the sun.  I love looking into the mirror and seeing nothing.  I love the fact I have nightmares about killing so many people.  I love it even more when I know it actually happened.  I loved the fact I was the most evil demon to exist.  I love that I had to leave the only woman I ever loved 2 and a half years ago.  I love the fact I can't make love to her without losing my Soul.  I love the fact I gave up being human for her and she'll never know that true happiness.  I love the fact she was sleeping with someone I despise, simply for the fact that he touched her.  And most of all, I love the fact that she DIED.  When I wasn't there.  She died.  To save the world.  And I'm sitting here with you, thinking what the Hell is this girl's problem?"

Annette stared, open mouthed at Angel, before regaining her composure.  "I'm-I'm sorry."

Angel's face softened and he looked down.  "I don't want your sympathy.  But thank you.  And you can feel sorry," he recognized.  "Good news."

"What?"

"You're not completely evil."

"Oh good because I was beginning to worry there," Annette squirmed.  "Why haven't you killed me?"

"Because i wouldn't be giving you the chance everyone deserves," Angel explained.

"You think I deserve a chance?"

Angel nodded slowly.  "Yeah.  I do."

"So this girl.  What was her name?"

"Buffy."

"Cute name."

"I think so," he smiled sadly.

That's a pretty name...

"So you gonna keep me tied up?  I don't wanna be Bondage Spice anymore."

Angel leaned forward, and Annette leaned in.  "Tough."

She slumped back moodily.
 
 
 

"Hey Wes," Gunn said in a low voice, coming over to his friends side.  "I keep meaning to ask, what's with Robocop?"

"Kate?" Wesley asked, watching the blonde study the book hard over on her seat.  "She's helping out."

"Yeah, helping.  I mean, she's nice enough.."

"Oh yes.  Bloody nice," Wesley agreed.  "Nice girl."

"Just a little.."

"Off?"

"Yeah."

"Well she never was Angel's biggest fan."

"Oh come on.  She hates him because she likes him," Gunn snorted.  Wesley's eyebrows arched and looked at Gunn.

"Really?" He asked, surprised.

"Oh come on English.  Didn't they teach you that in the third grade?" Gunn rolled his eyes.

"We didn't have the third grade in England."

"Oh.  Whatever."

"Yes, yes," Wesley cleared his throat and continued to read.
 
 

"I haven't found anything in this to help her," Kate yawned, placing the book in the Used Pile.  I need to loosen my muscles a little."

"Use Cordelia's target range over there," Gunn gestured with looking up.  "She was practising alot of the summer."

Kate supressed another yawn and picked up Cordelia's crossbow.

"Need a little help with that?" Gunn offered.

"I'll be fine," she assured him, training her eye and getting used to the weapon.

"Can someone rehearse this scene with me?" Cordelia held up her script.

"We really can't Cordelia, this is very important..." Wesley started.

"I will," Gunn cut him off.  He went to Cordelia's side.  "So I'm the guy?"

"Good guess," Cordelia said sarcastically.  "Ready?"

"Shoot.  Not you," Gunn added over his shoulder to Kate, holding a crossbow ready at the dartboard.

"OK.  'I know in my head and heart that I love you.  Let's get past this, let's get out of here.  Out of Kansas--' "

"What is this, The Wizard of Oz 2: Dorothy Does Kansas?" Gunn asked, looking at the title.

"No.  It's a pilot for a new Spelling show.. Love Kills."

"Spelling?  Might of told me," Gunn rolled his eyes.  "I would have sooner ran outta here proclaiming my love of Austen or Brontë."

"Whatever, just read."

"Fine, fine, fine. 'I can't believe how much I want you.  But this isn't something I can decide--' " Gunn read aloud.

"Well if you won't decide, who will?" Cordelia came back, without looking at the script.

" 'Let fate roll the dice and see where it takes us'," Gunn said monotonously.

" 'Fate's a bitch and it won't land on 6.  Let's make our own destiny Steven'," Cordelia replied with passion.

" 'We don't need a six, we need a soloution'," Gunn told her, feeling more in character.

" 'Make a soloution dammit!' " Cordelia yelled.  Gunn glanced at the script and swallowed.  He moved his face closer to Cordelia's, ready to carry out the stage direction with odd butterflies in his stomach.  Cordelia sighed and moved back.

"Can't you at least pretend to be in love with me?" She groaned.  "Is that too much?"

"Hey!  Just because I haven't been impregnated with demon spawn, don't mean I can't act!" Gunn argued, hardly knowing what he was saying.

"What?" Cordelia blinked.

"Just because I don't.. Have sex with demons and Cum-Shuck at every oppurtuinity--" Gunn stammered.

"Oh yeah.  A good Cum-Shuck with a demon every now and then makes you be able to act better," Cordelia nodded sarcastically.  "That's how.. I don't know.. Meryl Streep does it!"

"You know what I mean!"

"No!  I really don't!  What is your problem?  Ever since you found out about Wilson--"

"Oh it's Wilson is it?  Oh Wilson, Wilson, let me have your demon child!" Gunn ridiculed in a high voice.

"Get over it Gunn!  You didn't even know me then!  And why do you care anyway?" Cordelia bit.  Gunn opened his mouth and then shut it again. He looked down and shrugged.

"I don't know," he replied in a tiny voice.

"Yeah, I'd say so," Cordelia snatched her script from his hand and stormed up the stairs.
 
 

Do not expect me to watch.. And don't expect me to mourn for you..

Angel looked around at the snow falling.  Snowflakes drifting aimlessly all over him.  Tinging his hair and dissolving on his nose.

Then snowflakes on his eyelashes and warm touch on his lips.  He opened his eyes with wonder and the only person it could be.

"You're a man worth saving," Buffy whispered, taking his hand and wrapping her jacket tightly around her.  She kissed him twice for love and the third for passion, slipping her hands round his body and pulling him closer.

"What about you?" Angel broke out of the memory.  He sat up staright in his bed, not knowing he was back in LA.

"Aren't you worth saving?" Angel yelled, stumbling out of bed.  The sheets tangled his legs and he fell over with a thud.  he drunkenly got up and screaming upwards.  "Huh?  What about you Buffy?  Don't you deserve life too?  A chance.."
 
 

"Long day," Cordelia remarked as they all decided to scatter and go home.  Angel threw her his car keys.

"It's late.  Drive home," he told her wearily.  "I'm going out for a walk."

"OK.  See you tomorrow?" Cordelia asked Angel passively.  He took a long look at her, and it scared her.  He looked the same way Doyle had when he looked at her for the last time.  Angel never nodded, of shook his head.  He just took one long glance.

And left.
 

ACT FOUR
 

Angel saw Sunnydale as clearly as the crystal blue ocean before him.  Each wave replaced with a house and lights and a Christmas tree in each window.

It was turning cold, the air icifying around him, anticipating the falling.  And her voice.  Hard and desparate

"Strong is fighting.  It's hard and painful and it's everyday.  But it's what we have to do," he voice echoed.

Can't be strong anymore.  Can't stand the pain.  Can't live with this everyday.

I'm not strong enough.

His hands curled round the bar and he turned round, remembering the scene before him that lives only in his mind.

He strode out in the November LA sun, out of a garden, seeing her turn round to see him.  Breathless, wordless as he walked towards her.  Taking her hands and kissing her passionately in a kiss to end time.  Warmth.  Heartbeats.  Heat beyond body temperature.  Itching to be closer.

Both had never been more alive.

Now we're both dead.

"They promised," Angel whispered brokenly, seeing the vision of himself and Buffy, so wrapped up in each other that a tidal wave right there wouldn't5 have distracted them, dispate into air.  Nothing but air.

Angel turned back to the sea, watching it intently.  Determined to see the sun once again.
 
 

Cordelia settled down in bed, taking one last glance at the clock.  4.20.

"Long day, Dennis," she yawned to her room mate.  "Night."

Dennis put the lights out for her as she lay into her pillow comfortably.

Then she shot up in bed before

"GOD!!  How many GODDAMN VISIONS can I have in ONE DAY?!?!?!!?" She screamed.  Then her mind replayed and she remembered the vision at once.

Angel.

At Santa Monica Pier.  Waiting for day to rise.

"Oh god no.  Please god no," she whimpered, falling out of bed.  She scrambled to pull her pants on and then a jumper.  The phone flew into her hand.

"No time Dennis.  Car keys.  Cell phone is... In car.  Right OK," she nodded, grabbing the keys in mid air.
 
 

Cordelia ran to her car, her nightie hanging out over her jeans and her jacket twisted.  She started the engine and pulling away, screeching hideously.  She searched for the cell phone and when she couldn't find it she swore loudly and had to swerve an oncoming car, the horn blaring in her ears.

She whaled on the other cars, cutting corners and defying all traffic laws.  She knew she didn't have much time left.  She flipped lever to put the top up and stared ahead, seeing the ocean and Angel staring out over it.
 
 

Angel sighed and watched flexs of red and orange appeared.  Itching.  He closed his eyes.  Just five minutes more.

"Don't expect me to watch.  And don't expect me to mourn for you..."

I don't Buffy, Angel thought silently.  None of us will have to mourn anymore.

"Angel!" Cordelia yelled from his car.  She jumped out and ran to him.  Her clothes were mismatched and unco-ordinated.  He hair was plastered across her face.  The pale light tinted her blonde streaks.  "The sun is coming!"

He closed his eyes and remembered a different voice.  Tears of desparation and frustration. Of love.  Of need.

"Angel, the sun is coming."

"I know Cordy," Angel whispered when she reached him.  Her heart pounding and every inch of her frightened.  "I smell it.  I feel it."

"What does the sun smell like?  No no no.  Angel you have to come NOW!" She hollered.

"I can't be in a world where she isn't," Angel whispered, a little quieter.

"But she's here Angel.  She's with you all the time.  And she doesn't want you to die.  Not you.  Don't make do this," Cordelia fiddled with her pocket, finding something that she hadn't felt for a while.  In there from a case a few months ago.  "Come with me."

Angel shook his head.

"You're coming whether you want to or not," Cordelia said firmly.  As she came closer to him, she uncapped the object and stabbed it into his side.  Angel cried out and Cordelia felt tears matt her eyelashes.  "I mean it."

Angel pulled out the small dart with a blue feather tail.  "A tranquiliser dart," he ballooned his cheeks, stumbling forward.

"Yeah," Cordelia held his arms around her neck, dragging him painfully.  She seen a couple walking nearby, holding hands, ready for the sunrise.  "HEY!" She yelled to get their attention.  "HEY!"
 

They turned round and saw a girl inching forward with a 250 pound man draped over her.

"Please help me!" She wailed desparately, hoping not to feel the warmth of her back.  They looked at her puzzled and then came over.

"What's wrong?  Is he hurt?" The man asked.  About mid twenties, with short blond hair.

"He's... Allergic to the sun.  Causes a rash and.. I need to get him to my car, please help me," Cordelia begged.  The man quickly nodded and undertook a side of Angel's weight.

Together they pulled Angel to his car and with the womans help, they bundled him in the back before the sun rose.  Cordelia looked over her shoulder at the sea and saw some reflections of light on the surface.  She covered him hastily with his black blanket they kept in the back.  She pulled off her jacket and her teddy bear nightie was exposed.  She threw it over his head for extra protection.

She turned to the couple.

"Is he going to be alright?" The man asked.

"Yes," she answered affirmatively.  "He's gonna be fine.  Thank you so much for your help."  She pulled an Angel Investigations card out of the car and gave it to them.  "Ever need help, call us and you'll get it free of charge."

Saying Free of charge was a reward in itself when it came from Cordelia.  She smiled at them gratefully and jumped in the car, starting the engine.

"I hope you and your boyfriend will be OK," she smiled faintly.

"He's not my boyfriend.  Just my best friend," Cordelia told them, reversing quickly and speeding away.
 
 

Angel woke up and found himself staring at his ceiling.  He rolled over and found he couldn't remember a thing.

Until he saw Cordelia sitting in the chair beside his bed.  Arms crossed, jaw clenched, legs crossed.

"You are such an ass Angel," she told him angrily.

"Sorry," he apologized weakly.  The memories of the past few hours washed over him and he squeezed his eyes shut.  "I'm sorry."

"Yeah.  Sorry.  You miss her, but you won't talk about her.  You tried to kill yourself.  Buffy's dead Angel! And God, you must be hurting but please you can't--" Cordelia choked.

"I'm--" Angel started quietly, swinging his legs out bed and sitting up.

"No you're not.  Because you'll go out and try again!"

"I won't," he told her honestly, looking at her directly.

"You promise?" Cordelia asked, her voice verging on vulerability.

He nodded, his eyelids heavy.

"Because if I lost you too--" She bit her lip and let tears spill down her cheeks.  She got off her chair quickly and threw her arms around Angel's neck.  He squeezed her waist to him and held her for dear life.

Special Appearance by Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy