You know your Lebanese if.....

1. You say "bolice" and "bastor" for "police" and "pastor." 

2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.

3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad. 

4. Ski in the winter, swim in the summer, get stuck in traffic all year round!!!...

5. You own a grocery store, liquor store, or gas station. 

6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the stress. 

7. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding. 

8. You say the letter "h" like "etch." 

9. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is. 

10. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family. 

11. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days. 

12. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time. 

13. You pity anyone who is not Lebanese and think all other cultures are morally corrupt. 

14. You have fruit trees in your backyard and you live on them when it is the season.

15. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself. 

16. You have 500,000,000 cousins. 

17. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests. 

18. Your middle name is your father's first name.

19. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather. 

20. You play cards till the break of dawn. 

21. You can't have a meal without bread. 

22. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like "Susu," Natoosheh," or"Tuntooneh."

23. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup. 

24. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood. 

25. If you're a single Lebanese guy, you tell women you're a "successful businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're an unemployed goat herder.

26. You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands 

27. You bump Arabic music at all times!