Labels

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

> On a Sears hairdryer : Do not use while  sleeping. ( and that's the only time  I have to work on my hair).

> On a bag of Fritos : ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions : Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

> On some Swanson frozen dinners : "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) : "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding : "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

> On packaging for a Rowenta iron : "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine : "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

> On Nytol Sleep Aid : "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

> On most brands of Christmas lights : "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

> On a Japanese food processor : "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

> On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning : contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

>  On an American Airlines packet of nuts : "Instructions: Open packet, eat  nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

> On a child's superman costume : "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

> On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)