Coming back after Rome, life was pretty slow. Not really up to much. My german course recommenced and everything was pretty cool post Easter. Went back to school and one universal feeling was proven: holidays are never long enough!
But it was good to be home. It was really funny thinking back on the trip. It was the first time i had been away completely independantly. Like ive been away on my own before, but mum and dad have always had a hand in it, they have always organised something or phoned ahead or whatever. And ive always been away with someone else, like a music group, or on a camp or with some sort of supervised thing. The first time i went away by myself with mates was to Pearl Beach after the HSC. And that doesnt really count! This was all arranged by the boys, and we did everything ourselves. Going into a country where i didnt speak the language, with no support net was not easy to sleep on, but at the same time, so incredibly exciting. I mentioned it before, but travelling by yourself is so much fun. Not only can you do what you want but you are completely dependent on yourself. You screw up and you feel the repercussions. I think it was just a small milestone that, for me, was important. I mean, i am an independent person. But this was testement to that, and i often need these signals, just to know where you are and how far youve got to go. I suppose, and this is one of the luxuries of a year away, that i am really becoming my own person. Not only getting to know myself better, but becoming comfortable with myself, and learning to support and be myself. I just have the disadvantage of growing up and living in a family that loved me way too much, and anyone loves that comfort, so why should i leave that? But this year has forced me to realise that i am at a point in my life where i need to grow from that. Not grow away from that in the slightest, i couldnt bear moving further from my family, but growing as a person, that is part of a family. Just becoming me. In a wierd way, i never have taken the time to look at myself. Completely bare and stripped of everything. This year i have the time and energy to do that. I havent yet uncovered some juicy dirt on myself! Haha, and im really not anything to different to what i was in Sydney, but Im just coming to know myself better. What my limitations, expectations, dreams and passions are. I know im the same person now, just more focussed and directed.
But that is all i little too much thought for one day.
Spring has officially started and everything is changing day by day. The greens and yellows slowly fold into eachother, and one of the most glorius sights is to look at the Schlo�berg, and see, every day, the subtle changes that occur as Spring slowly but surely decends upon everything.
Besides that, everything is good, and going well.
Paz