(In the distant land of ALTERNATE UNIVERSES, Brian and Justin ATTEND THE SAME HIGH SCHOOL.)
Justin Brian is really HOT, and my BLOSSOMING SEXUALITY tells me that I like DICK. Woe.
(Brian's dad MARRIES Justin's mom.)
Brian It's okay, I'm a fudgepacker, too.
Justin Oh, good. Let's have sex.
(They DO, and it goes on for a LONG TIME, which is alright because it's HOT. Brian's dad FINDS OUT and DOES NOT THINK SO, however. He BEATS BRIAN UP, and Jennifer LEAVES HIM, her first act of ASSERTION for the entire 'fic.)
Brian My mouth muscles are DEAD. I must learn to TALK ALL OVER AGAIN. I mean, uh, mmrrgh, mmmph. Gnarggh.
(He DOES. He and Justin CONTINUE TO FUCK and MOVE AWAY TOGETHER. Everything is STRANGELY CONVENTIONAL IN A FUCKED-UP WAY.)
Jennifer Wow, I have bad taste in men.
(She DOES.)
THE END