I know, it's a little demented to be sending out this report today but, as my Bulgarian friend Dessy used to say, 'Shurrrrup!'
Anyway, about Raw. It's official. The dude who writes it is on crack. A murderer angle? Not only will that NOT bring in new fans (why watch this when you can see it better on a *real* TV drama, like a cop show), but, as someone who watches for the actual wrestling, it just makes me wanna hurl and turn off my TV. But I won't...that's kinda what addiction means ;-P
But yeah, there was more stuff that happened on Raw, so I shall now analyze. Overall this show has been much better since it became less of 'The Triple H Show' and more of a showcase for the fifty billion wrestlers they have on the roster (as opposed to the hmm...like five guys they have working on SmackDown, lol). And this show, though incredibly disjointed, was entertaining and even moved a few feuds ahead. Because we saw The Bisch so often I'm gonna state right out that the guy is brilliant and no one could have carried the sleazy atmosphere of Raw Roullette quite like him. But you all know I love that man.
1. Big Show vs Booker T (cage match) - now, this match didn't look as bad as it was made out to be, considering it featured two of my least favourite Raw stars. Booker T sold like an absolute champ and had me cringing on his behalf and making the comment to my Raw watching partner that he looked like an accordian, literally folding up. However, I asked at the very beginning what Big Show was gonna do in a no pinfall/submission cage match (doncha love how they keep changing the rules) because it actually wasn't the mismatch it probably should have been. They should have allowed pinfalls just to make it seem like Show had a chance. Anyway, Show is far too fat and slow for this kind of match and if it wasn't for Booker it would have bitten the big one. Great work, Booker. Show, go to the gym and eat less cheeseburgers. Please. Then we had my main man Jericho racing down to beat up Booker, who did an obvious blade job, but we'll forgive him because blood is cool (I'm so very sick). I'm actually into this Booker/Jerky feud. Sure as hell beats Flair/Jerky. I feel very sorry for RVD. Don't get me wrong, the man is a legend and I totally love him as Hunter's lackey, but his pay per view matches are just an excuse for me to head into the kitchen and make my breakfast (PPVs screen in the morning here).
2. Jericho's promo - a step in the right direction. They can make him a funny heel yet. Loved his comment about being unstable but hey, wouldn't that make him a psycho freak and, according to Kane, freaks are cool. Also cracked up laughing everytime he tried to use the word 'sucka'. He just couldn't say it right and ended up sounding like the Canadian white boy he is. Go Jerky!
3. HHH vs D'Lo Brown (blindfold match) - I was like D'Lo? What in the hell? There could be no doubting the result of this match but, being short sharp and shiny as it was, I didn't hate it. It was actually quite amusing and surprising, in that Hunter sold a couple of D'Lo's moves. And he had to cheat to win...over D'Lo Brown. How classic is that?
4. Regal vs Goldust (showgirls match) - Now I know he wears those nasty little speedos normally, but this was the first time I'd noticed that Regal has nice legs! His legs looked better in those nylons than mine do, dammit all. The match itself was a bit of a farce, but I loved the way Regal played it and then we find out that Lance Storm is still hanging out with Regal...joy and rapture, I love those two...although I only really like Regal's promos. I think Goldust could have done so much more with his outfit - he was outclassed by William freaking Regal!
5. I'll skip the Christian promo because I still find myself asking what in the frig he was wearing...bring back the mesh!!! Ill move onto the promo involving Bubba/Dreamer/Spike. Although it was short, this was fantastic. If they want drama and emotion on the show, they had it right here. Great stuff and it makes Bubba even more of a face for choosing his little brother when the obvious choice was Tommy.
6. Trish vs Stacy (paddle on a pole/bra and panties match) - well, of course we needed more smut - it's Vegas!!! I'm glad this was also a short one, 'cause Trish deserves so much better than this. Yeah, she's a good looking woman with a great body, but hell, so are the guys...um...men...not women...oh well. All I'm saying is would it be so much to ask for a smutty guy on guy match once in a while? Oh well, there's always Kurt vs Benoit, lol. How damn skinny is Stacy? Mind you, I did like her underwear and I reckon that when I go into the city today I might try and find some - they were awesome! lol. I bet you all needed to know that. I'm actually looking forward to Victoria v Trish at the PPV. Mind you, I'd like it better if it was Molly v Victoria. Any chance of turning Molly face, with the impending arrival of Ivory, do you think?
7. Post-match promo - Victoria - not good. It wasn't just the content "she hurt me...I'll make her pay" Go back to Days of Our Lives already! Seriously, like Lita, she's one terrific athlete but she ain't no actress.
8. Test vs Al Snow (Las Vegas Streetfight) - How good was this? I love and adore Al (I used to call him my baby) and I could just see Mick Foley watching, entranced as his two favourite scapegoats battled it out. I have nothing bad to say about this at all, except for the bit where he got the bowling bag, I was waiting for him to pull out Head. The crowd wanted it too... Oh, and I didn't recognize that shirt as a bowling shirt. I thought he was getting ready for bed!
9. The King vs Steven Richards (It's Legal In Vegas Match) - great, more strippers. Now we know why the WWE's in financial trouble - they got strippers and adult movie stars to pay for! One of these girls seriously needed some food - she had bones sticking out all over the place. And a couple of them were ugly as sin, but I did like some of their clothes. I must be the only person in the world who enjoys Godfather's appearances for the fashion ideas! King got the Duke over Richards, which is interesting, since the last time these two met, Richards got the win and took the Kat...I am such a bitch.
10. Hurricane gets the crap beaten out of him. The strange thing about this was that the interviewer knew about it and led the cameras there BEFORE the refs and officials showed up. Yeah right.
11. Four Team TLC match - this was just incredible (although I still think I liked TLC 3 better...aw hell, they're all good). I kept waiting for Hurricane to show up against the odds, kinda like Benoit did last time, but I was only marginally disappointed that he didn't. All seven guys gave their all and, really, if you didn't see it, sorry, but no amount of writing's gonna do it justice. Beg, borrow or steal a tape. I also thought JR did a good job of solo commentary, not that any commentary was really necessary, what with all the action. I STILL hate it that those jackasses put an ad break in the middle of the damn match...no, there's no half-time on the WWE, but, unlike real sports, they do make you miss the action.
12. The finale - Kane, you're a murderer. I put this separately because it really took away from the brilliance of the match. Like I said, their writer is on crack. Believe it or not, I don't have a problem with the murderer angle itself. What I have a problem with is it being used against a face. If they'd called Hunter a murderer, well, cool, I don't have a problem with that, especially since he's not really over enough as a heel and this would do it. But how do you expect to make a good guy seem even more heroic when you do this to him? It's just stupid. I read that Vince wants more angles like the one involving Victoria and the Kane murder thing. Well, in my opinion, those were the two weakest points of the entire show. I am interested in seeing where they go from here, but, if you ask me, it sure as hell ain't gonna be up.
Rating: A (if you ignore the murderer thing, it was a really great show)
See ya guys and remember, comments on my reviews are always appreciated. I love debate.
Lyndelle