Hiya all!
I told you I'd write them up eventually and, with my computer playing havoc making different font sizes, allow me to begin. Grades are listed as scores out of ten.
1. Eight man shambles!
- okay, not really. This was actually so much better than it might have been,
thanks largely to Kane staying in his corner for a good part of the match (not
that I don't love Kane, but he should not be fighting Lance Storm and Christian...ever!).
Goldust was loads of fun imitating Bubba's moves at some stages, but you just
had to look at the sizes of the teams to know that the UnAmericans were hopelessly
outclassed. (tongue in cheek political comment - oh, so that's how America does
it - crushes everyone into submission through pure brute force). lol, just kidding
before you people freak out on me! Ya know I'm a heel mark. Poor Lance was a
punching bag again, but I'll let it slide because I think he's used to it.
Grade - 7.5
2. Jericho vs Flair -
I was NOT looking forward to this match. It wasn't that bad but the fact that
Jericho was in it at all was absolutely disgusting and says a lot about how
his talent is being wasted. I kinda thought he was injured at one stage - all
his agile landing on his feet stuff seriously freaks me out sometimes. Yes,
it was a cop-out ending, no we won't be seeing Jericho as a face anytime soon
(much the pity) but honestly, this ending was put on for Flair's benefit. The
poor old dude couldn't have fought in a much longer match.
Grade - 6 (with a plea to make better use of Jericho, he's so talented, when
will they realize it!)
3. Guerrero vs Edge -
another nice little outing from these two who, unlike Jericho, are actually
being utilized properly. That said, their feud seems to have run its course
and I'd like to see a little bit of Guerrero vs Rey develop and maybe Edge getting
a shot at Brocky's title. That would certainly be interesting. Two heel wins,
both times by cheating, with Eddie going for the tights (not that I'm complaining,
Edge has a great ass!)
Grade - 8
4. Rosey & Jamal
vs Billy & Chuck - I so expected B&C to win this so I was crapping myself
when they didn't. As for my friends Rosey (who has changed the spelling of his
name to make it somewhat more masculine) and Jamal, I'm certainly glad Jamal
had his name on theback of his shirt so I could tell them apart and I loved
that Rico was in their corner. Although do they really expect us to believe
that stylist Rico would recommend those clothes to R&J? As Rico himself
may say, 'Puh-leez, sister girl.' Rosey and Jamal excel as a tag team in that
their double teams are far more creative and impressive than anything they do
alone. Although, I must say, that was one whole hell of a moonsault by Rosey.
I wouldn't wanna be on the end of that.
Grade - 7
5. Hunter vs RVD - Are
they FINALLY starting to realize that Hunter's not quite the drawcard they want
him to be? I was expecting this one to go along with Brock/Taker as a double
main event. But it didn't. *shrugs* I'm glad it didn't, or NO ONE would have
been able to wake me up at the end of the show. This match was boring as shit.
Triple H and Van Dam's styles to not mesh in any way, shape or form. Even the
swerve wasn't a swerve as I, being the jaded smark that I am, saw it coming
a mile off.
Grade - 6 (and that's being nice)
6. Molly vs Trish - nice
little match by the two girls who really do have some talent. I'm expecially
impressed with Trish, if you look back at her matches BEFORE she learned to
wrestle. No, she's not perfect, but boy is she working hard. Even though I was
marking for Molly, I didn't mind the result.
Grade - 7, with a possible 7.5
Before I go on to the next match, did anyone else notice that lesbians appear to reproduce by asexual reproduction (budding, perhaps?). There were only three at first, we cut back to the locker rooms and there's tons of them. The lesbians will take over the world! lol
7. Benoit versus Angle
- *rubs hands together in glee* SLASH! SLASH! SLASH! Those boys certainly are...ahem...fond
of each other. This match was everything I expected and more. Although I do
hate the WWE by taking the chicken shit option of having Benoit grab the ropes
for the pin. The crowd were right into this match, they were marking for Benoit,
at the moment he appears to not be in a team with Eddie. Buy a clue, you friggin
idiots, it was the perfect opportunity to turn him face. But hell, it was one
awesome match and I hope the guys enjoyed a cigarette together once they were
done. SLASH!!!
Grade - 9 (would've been higher, but for the ending)
The HLA stuff. Let me just say this was entertaining, sickening and funny all in one. Tell me, is Triple Jackass gonna bury Rikishi's career because he pashed off Steph? Me and my brother thought it was a man from the start, we were going, 'it looks like Mark Henry' and then when we found out it was Rikishi, my brother says sagely 'and he didn't even need to pad the bra'. Funny stuff. Though it wasn't the swerve it was meant to be, it was pretty cool.
8. Undertaker vs Brock
- what can you really say about this? The match itself was fine, in fact it
steadily got better from the start onwards, but it's funny that in a pay per
view called Unforgiven, the end could be so unforgivable. Anyone who doesn't
think that the original ending had Undertaker jobbing clean and that the son
of a bitch had it changed more to his liking is seriously delusional. The Undertaker
is a cancer and backstage politics of the kind that he plays (and no, he's not
the only one, but he's the one I'm ranting about right now), is going to kill
the company. Quit being so damn selfish. Brock Lesnar is a star and, given the
chance, will be bigger than the Undertaker ever was. Get over it, old man and
let someone else have a turn.
Grade - 8 for the match, a whopping great 0 for the end.
Overall - not a bad PPV
with some entertaining spots, some poor spots and some absolutely awful endings.
Rey Mysterio should have been fighting Jericho, Triple H should NOT have been
fighting RVD and Undertaker should learn that the sun doesn't shine out of his
ass. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit are a joy to watch and two of the greatest
assets that company has (and I'm not just saying that because Benoit's hot as
hell).
Final grade: 7
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