MATT VS JEFF

SMACKDOWN! JANUARY 25TH, 2001

On Smackdown, Angel ran into Jeff Hardy just outside the locker room. He’d set up a steel folding chair in the hallway and was listening to a CD player while bandaging up his left arm. Angel had to wave a hand in front of his face to get him to notice her. He looked up and half-smiled, removing his earphones.

"Hey, Angel."

Angel watched him bandage his arm with a look of concern on her face. "Are you injured?"

Jeff shook his head and started to pull on his arm guards. "Precaution. I’ve had trouble with that one the past few months."

Angel nodded knowingly, touching her bruised chin.

Jeff laughed. "You got slugged by Crash Holly and you bruised?"

"Hey, he’s stronger than he looks. You know, I stopped by your room to see if you needed a ride, but I guess you’d already left."

"Yeah, I caught a ride with Chris Jericho. Thanks, though, Angel. It’s good to know someone cares."

"Anytime," Angel smiled, watching Jeff adjusting his full arm gear. "So, who have you got tonight?"

"Acolytes," Jeff replied.

"Again?" Angel cried. "How many times do they have to…?"

"Careful," Jeff cut in.

"…Face you. I was going to say ‘face you’."

Jeff smiled knowingly. "Right. Anyway, ‘we’ are not facing ‘them’. Matt’s not my partner tonight."

"He’s not? Then who is?"

"Bradshaw. And no, I’m not thrilled about it, but right now anyone’s better than Matt."

Angel frowned. "Jeff, what’s going on with you and Matt lately?"

Jeff shrugged. "Matt just gets like this sometimes. Don’t worry, it’ll probably work itself out soon enough. Either that or I’ll kill him." He gave a twisted little smile and pulled his earphones back on. "Inspirational music," he said, nodding up at Angel.

Angel grabbed the earphone from him and put them on her own ears. "Rage Against The Machine. Good inspiration, Jeff." She gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze and, feeling less than comfortable herself, entered the locker room.

* * * *

The room was silent. Matt was getting ready while Lita sat stiffly, arms folded, a truly pissed-off expression on her face.

"Um, hi guys," Angel said uncertainly.

Lita still stared straight ahead as her leg started shaking. She looked about ready to snap.

"Hi Angel," Matt said sullenly. "Say, is my retarded little brother still sitting out there all on his own?"

Before Angel could reply, Lita was on her feet and bearing down on Matt, eyes blazing. "That is enough! Matt, do everyone a favor and keep your mouth closed. I’ve just had enough, okay? You and Jeff are both acting like children and it’s time it stopped. So, you go into your tag match tonight and settle your differences in the ring and then I want everything back to normal or I will not be held responsible for what I’ll do. You hear me?"

Matt just frowned and nodded.

"Good." Lita left him alone, grabbed Angel’s wrist and led her to another corner of the room. "I am so sorry about that. You’re supposed to be on vacation, you shouldn’t have to put up with this crap."

Angel hugged her cousin. "Are you okay, Li?"

Lita pulled away and shrugged. "Don’t know. I’m just sick of being stuck in the middle. You must feel the same and you don’t even know the guys. They’re as bad as each other. I mean, you’ve seen it. Matt’ll say something stupid and Jeff will retaliate and then they’ll either fight or Jeff’ll storm off somewhere." She exhaled loudly and continued. "And then while I’m trying to get Matt to cool it, you probably feel like you need to find Jeff and see if he’s okay. So the next time Matt sees you he lays into you about taking Jeff’s side and so on and so on. I’m so sorry to put you in the middle like this, Ange."

Angel just hugged her again. "Are you going to be at ringside?"

Lita shook her head. "No, me and Jackie are going to watch on the big TV backstage. You’re welcome to join us, supposing Jackie’s in a better mood than I am about this whole thing."

Just then they were interrupted by a knock at the door. Giving Matt a long look, Lita went to answer it.

"Ange," she called. "It’s Molly."

"Hey Angel," Molly cried, entering the room. "Hardcore and Crash have a tag match against Bull Buchanan and the Goodfather tonight. I just know Steven and Ivory are both going to be there. Do you want to come even things up a little?"

Angel looked over at Lita.

Lita smiled for the first time that night. "Well, since you seem to have been made an honorary Holly, you should definitely go."

"Great!" Molly cried, clapping her hands and leading Angel from the room. "Okay, now all we have to do is work out how to help Hardcore and Crash win."

* * * *

Angel and the three Hollys could hear the Alabama crowd booing. Their entrance was only moments away. Hardcore flexed his muscles and smiled. "It’s good to be home."

Their music started and they began their walk with Crash and Hardcore leading, Molly behind Crash and Angel behind Hardcore. Both Crash and Hardcore wore their normal trunks while Molly and Angel both wore pink tops with black pants. Molly wore a halter-top while Angel had a bikini. With her height and dark hair, Angel looked more like she was Hardcore’s girlfriend than a real Holly, but it didn’t matter. So long as the four of them were against Right To Censor, they were a team.

"Making their way to the ring, accompanied by Molly Holly and Angel Torres, at a combined weight of four hundred sixty-two pounds, from Mobile, Alabama, Hardcore and Crash Holly!"

Angel stood with Molly as Crash started things off in the normal fashion with Bull Buchanan. He got a few good hits in and Molly jumped up and down, clapping her hands, as Angel cried, "Go Crash!" She and Molly tried to keep one eye on the action and the other on Steven and Ivory. At one stage Steven climbed onto the apron and Angel started towards him, but she needn’t have bothered. Hardcore, who was legal man at the time, spotted him and decked him with a strong right to the face.

"Yeah! Hardcore!" Angel cried.

Soon after that, Crash and the Goodfather fell from the ring, fighting. Angel prepared to go help him but Molly stopped her. "Don’t worry, Crash will be fine. Worry about those other two."

As if on cue, Ivory appeared in the ring, title belt in hand. She raced towards Hardcore but wasn’t watching properly and clocked Bull Buchanan instead. Both Molly and Angel chased after Ivory as Hardcore scored the drop kick on a dazed Buchanan, made the cover and got the three count.

Right To Censor ran off to lick their wounds as Angel and the Hollys high-fived each other in the ring. The war was far from over, but this little battle belonged to them.

* * * *

Angel was still in high spirits as she returned to the Hardys’ locker room. She opened the door to total chaos. Rage Against The Machine blared from a small but powerful stereo and empty bottles and food wrappers littered the floor. Both Hardys were shirtless and Jeff seemed to be doing an interpretive dance while Matt and Lita talked in the corner.

"Angel!" Jeff shouted over the music. "Join the party!"

Bewildered, Angel kept looking around the room. "I turn my back for a minute and the world’s gone mad."

Somehow, Matt heard her. "No, just Jeff."

Angel smiled and turned the music down so she could hear herself think, much to Jeff’s disgust. "What happened?"

"My boys came through," Lita said happily. "They pulled a swift one on the Acolytes by getting them to fight each against each other, then they worked as a team to beat them both."

"Just as we planned," Matt said proudly.

"Plan? What plan?" Lita cried.

"Come on, Lita," Matt scolded her as he gripped her shoulder. "You know I love my baby brother."

From Jeff’s makeshift dance floor came an off-key rendition of ‘He Ain’t Heavy’.

"…But I’m strong, strong enough to care. Oh, he ain’t heavy, ‘cause…"

Matt grinned and joined him for the next line. "…He’s my brother!"

Lita rolled her eyes. "You guys, you’re the Hardys, not the Osmonds."

But Matt and Jeff didn’t care. Jeff had joined Matt in the corner where they hugged and continued their impromptu karaoke session as the music from the stereo threw them even further off key.

"…The road is long, with many a winding turn, that leads…"

Angel watched them from a distance as Lita tried in vain to get them to stop. She smiled. The three of them were so tight and she had no doubt that Matt and Jeff knew Lita much better than Angel did, despite being her cousin. Angel put her hand to her chin. Despite the fact it had happened three days ago it still hurt like a bastard and her head tingled where the stitches had been. Lita sure did lead a strange life – where home was a similar but different hotel room nearly every night and family consisted of the few friends you managed to keep from double crossing you. Lita and the Hardys were family. Angel was an outsider and, despite her cousin’s happiness and the small amount of retribution she felt at the win over RTC, she’d never felt more alone.

"Angel! You want a drink?" Jeff finally snapped her out of her daze.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. You got any water?"

"Sure. Incoming!"

Suddenly a bottle of water was flying towards he head. She reached up and somehow caught it.

"Good one!" Jeff cried. "Oh, I love this song! Come on, Angel. Show all of us your moves." He turned the music up and looked at her expectantly.

Against her better judgement, Angel joined Jeff on his dance floor.

"All hell can’t stop us now!" Jeff shouted along with the music. He’d clearly been drinking something stronger than water. At the end of a few songs Angel, being no athlete, was pooped. She found her water and took a few refreshing gulps, then turned back around, only to be faced with the sight of Matt and Lita making out in the corner. Her mouth dropped open. Although she’d suspected, it was still a shock.

She felt Jeff grab her clumsily. "Come on, Angel, the next one’s started." When he realized she wasn’t moving he followed her gaze. "Huh. They must be real drunk. They usually don’t do that in front of me, especially when we’re at an arena." He looked down at Angel. "So, we dancin’ or what?"

Angel smiled but the thought of ‘dancing’ to another Rage song was less than appealing. "Jeff, do you think they’ll notice if we go?"

"No. Why, where we going?"

"To find a real party with real music. You up for it?"

"Hell yeah. One thing though." And with that he removed the bottle from Angel’s hand and replaced it with a beer. "Let’s go."

Angel found Jeff’s sports bag and hoisted it onto her shoulder. "We might be needing this."

So they left Matt and Lita in peace, well, if you count Rage Against The Machine still playing at a million decibels as peaceful.

Jeff was even drunker than Angel had thought. He was having a bit of trouble walking, leaning on Angel as he sang a medley of Rage songs and ‘He Ain’t Heavy’.

"How many have you had, Jeff?"

"Five, no, six."

Angel concluded that for a man of his build and probable metabolism, Jeff Hardy was a very cheap drunk.

Up ahead someone about Jeff’s height with a mane of golden hair appeared.

"Hey, Chris," Jeff called. "Did you win?"

The blonde man scowled. "No, junior, I did not win. I did, however, get to have the life half squeezed out of me by a 500 pound behemoth."

"Bummer. You wanna come party with me and Angel?"

The blonde guy gave him a funny look. "Junior, if I’d known you were a Kirk Angel fan do you really think I’d have let you near my car earlier?"

"No, not Kirk. Just Angel," Jeff tried to explain, but the other man was already past them and walking away.

"Sober up, Hardy," he called over his shoulder.

"Angel?"

"Yeah, Jeff?"

"Where are we going to find a party? We’re in Mobile."

"You forget, Jeff. I’m a Holly now."

They finally reached the right locker room and Angel knocked.

Hardcore opened the door. "Are you alone?"

"No, I brought Jeff."

Hardcore passed a glance over Jeff. "Okay."

"Hi Hollys," Jeff said cheerfully as he and Angel entered the room.

"Is that boy okay?" Hardcore asked.

"He’s fine, but he and Matt had a big win tonight so I thought we could go celebrate together. And if anyone knows where the fun’s at in this town it’d be Alabama’s finest family."

"You got that right," Molly piped up.

Hardcore nodded, considering it. "Alright. But that boy’s gonna need a shirt."

Angel smiled to herself as she rifled through Jeff’s bag, looking for a shirt. What had she been thinking? Less than two weeks after she’d begun her journey in search of the cousin she’d always idolized and here she was, with members of two completely exclusive groups, both welcoming her as one of their own. She might not have been a Hardy or a Holly, but in some strange way she belonged.