FAMILY & FRIENDS

RAW IS WAR, MARCH 26TH, 2001

Knock, knock, knock.

Jeff was furious. "Why the hell does this always happen?" he screamed, throwing off the covers. "Why can’t you people let me sleep?"
He opened the door to find…no one. At his feet sat a full garbage bag with a note attached. Shaking his head, he ripped the note away and read it.

Jeff,

I was serious. The leather pants should definitely be a go for you at Wrestlemania. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

Angel

Sighing, Jeff picked up the bag and backed into his room.

‘That’s that, then,’ he shrugged. ‘She never did thank me. Now what’s she going to do for clothes? Is she likes leather pants so much, maybe her new friend Edge can hook her up.’

"Dammit!" he shouted, booting the bag across the room and scattering tank tops, hipster pants and cute little jackets all over the floor. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! What the hell am I going to do with all this? Dammit!"

* * * *

"I’m going back to the gym," Angel announced. "Come get me when you’re ready to head over to the arena."

"Uh huh," Benoit murmured.

"Okay, so I’ll see you later."

A reflection in the screen was seriously bugging Benoit. He turned slowly, a look of pure disgust on his face.

"Princess. What the hell is that?"

Angel held out the huge doll, which she’d dressed in her own clothes – a tank top and jeans.

"This is Larissa. She’s my training partner. I got her yesterday."

"That’s a doll," Benoit informed her.

"I know that. Did I tell you yesterday I fought a ladder? This is definitely a step up."

"It’s a doll. It’s cloth and stuffing."

"At first glance, perhaps, but check this out." She stepped across the room, picked up a vase and dumped out the plastic flowers. Then she reached under Larissa’s top and undid a zipper, exposing the stuffing beneath. "Okay, so pretend the vase weighs ten pounds." She plunged it into the stuffing and zipped up the doll again. "Voila! She now weighs ten pounds!"

Benoit was not impressed. "Even Terri weighs more than ten pounds."

"I know that, but it’s the principle. There’s plenty more space in here for other weights. Can’t you see the promise in this?"

"What I see," Benoit replied. "Is you trying to be Al Snow. Only instead of tearing off the doll’s head, you’re ripping its guts out."

Angel now glared at him. "You really have no imagination."

Before Benoit could answer, JR’s voice boomed from the TV. "Olympic Slam! Olympic Slam!"

Benoit spun to face the TV, then scowled back at Angel. "Take your damn doll and get the hell out of here!" He immediately turned back around, ending their conversation.

Angel frowned and gripped her doll. "Come on, Larissa. He’s just jealous ‘cause he doesn’t have anybody’s ass to kick."

Benoit heard the door click shut and still watched Kurt Angle move across the TV screen. "I kick everybody’s ass!"

* * * *

Angel sat on the weight bench, sticking twenty-pound weights into Larissa’s torso. She stopped at five. A hundred pounds sure would test her. She leaned forward to pick up the doll, then almost immediately dropped it on the ground.

"Here, let me help you with that." Kurt Angle reached down and picked up Larissa. "Geesh!" he cried. "What’s this weigh? A hundred pounds?"

Angel nodded, helping Kurt put the doll back down on the bench. "I’m thinking eighty might be more my speed, though."

"That’s a good thought," Kurt agreed, watching as she removed a weight. "What is that thing, anyway?"

"Training aid," Angel replied.

Kurt nodded. "Good idea…if the seams hold."

Angel stood, placing her hands on hips which were clad in tight leather. "Story of my life. So tell me," she added as his gaze traveled the length of her body and ended on her eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I was thinking about what you said yesterday. I’ve decided I need you in my corner."

"Oh, you decided that, huh? Well, sorry, Kurt. We’ve been through this."

"Yeah, I know. But you don’t like Benoit and I’m a way out. Just tell Benoit you want to work for me and if he doesn’t like it he can go jump."

"Integrity, Kurt?" Angel asked.

"Chris Benoit doesn’t even know the meaning of the word! And that is true!"

Angel grinned. "You know what? You’re right. He doesn’t. I’ll think about it, okay? I’ll think about it."

"You will? Well, great! That’s great, Angel."

* * * *

"So, Vince bought WCW?" Angel asked, buttoning up her new Wrestlemania baseball jersey.

"Seems that way," Benoit murmured.

"So, what’s that mean?"

"What do you mean ‘what’s that mean’? It means WCW is dead and buried, just like it should be."

Angel raised her eyebrows. "Bitter much?"

Benoit just scowled at her. "I had the good sense to jump. Shane Douglas and Konnan were going to do the same but they didn’t, and now look what they’ve got. I have nothing to say for it at all."

Angel nodded meekly. "Speaking of Shanes, I checked that Shane Helms guy out. He’s kinda cute."

"Cute doesn’t get you far when you’re unemployed."

"I beg to differ," Angel shrugged. "I’m cute, I was unemployed and now I make more than I ever have before."

Benoit stared at her, aghast. "You think I made you my slave because of what you look like?"

"I’m not your slave."

"You are my slave."

Angel simply broke into a grin. "Slaves wish they had it this good." She leaned back against the wall. "You know what? You pay me too much and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it."

Benoit raised his eyebrows. "Oh, there isn’t? Shut your damn mouth!"

Angel broke into a smirk. "It’ll cost you."

Benoit scowled and reached for his wallet, then changed his mind and put it away again. "You’re not worth it."

"I know," Angel grinned. "So isn’t it funny that you pay it anyway?"

In one fluid movement, Benoit stood and hurled his chair at Angel. It missed her head by inches, slamming into the wall and then clattering to the ground. Angel looked up and noticed that there was now a dent in the wall.

"Fine," she mused. "I won’t talk about WCW anymore."

"Shut up!" Benoit snapped.

Angel shut her mouth, put her foot on the chair and, with her eyes locked on Benoit’s, slid it over to him. On the TV behind him, pyrotechnics were signaling the start of Raw.

At the sound of ‘Medal’, Benoit spun to face the TV, immediately transfixed.

"You want me to go see Regal now?" Angel asked quietly.

"No," Benoit replied coolly. "Wait and see what this bitch has to say."

‘Bitch,’ Angel thought. ‘It must be love.’

"Little girl," Benoit said after a while. "I’m going out there and you’re coming with me."

"Yippee," Angel murmured, following him from the room.

* * * *

Angel stood with Benoit in the backstage area as Kurt continued his speech. Each word was making Benoit more and more pissed off until he couldn’t take it anymore.

"That whiney, self-centered piece of shit thinks he’s the greatest wrestler in the WWF? That’s my title! I earned that!" He furiously grabbed Angel’s wrist and spun to the sound desk. "Play ‘Shooter’!" he ordered. "Play it now!"

The sound guys were concerned about getting balance from the ring mics, the crowd noise, Kurt and the announcers, and didn’t hear him. Still holding Angel’s arm, he stormed over to the nearest sound guy and tore off his earphones.

"Play my goddamn song!" he screamed into the guy’s ear.

Shocked, the guy nodded rapidly. "Okay."

Then, just as Kurt was reminding the crowd how long he’d held the Federation title, ‘Shooter’ finally started.

Benoit smirked with satisfaction as he led Angel towards the stage.

"Get that microphone," he ordered.

Angel did as she was told and when Kurt looked towards the stage, there stood Benoit and Angel.

"Give it here," Benoit demanded so Angel handed him the mic.

Benoit’s speech belied his fury as he walked calmly down the ramp with Angel in tow. When they reached the ring Angel waited on the outside, leaning on the apron and watching Kurt and Benoit. Pretty soon, they each made the mistake of stealing the other’s catchphrase, so of course they came to blows, grappling and trying to take each other down until Benoit finally managed to secure the crossface. Kurt started to tap, just as Benoit had predicted he would. At that moment, Edge and Christian came sprinting down the ramp towards the ring. Angel heard them approach and spun to watch them.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Angel," they called back as they leaped into the ring and kicked Benoit away from Angle. Benoit leaped up to retaliate but Edge caught him with a powerbomb neckbreaker and Christian gave him a backbreaker across his knee. Edge and Christian then went to help Kurt, leaving Benoit laying in the ring.

Team ECK walked slowly towards the ramp, past where Angel was standing, and Kurt looked up and spotted her.

"I didn’t tap," he said wearily. "I’m the best. I didn’t tap to him."

Angel just shrugged cryptically so it was up to Edge to reassure him. "We know, Kurtski. Who’d ever tap to that reekazoid?"

In the ring, Benoit was finally finding his feet. He focused his pain and anger-filled eyes on Angel. "I told you I’d make that bitch tap. And I’ll do it again, too. Go find Regal and tell him I want Kurt’s ass."

"Tonight?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, tonight. Yeah, Wrestlemania. I will make him tap and tap and tap. He’s think he’s Fred freakin’ Astaire for all the tapping he’ll be doing. Now, go!"

Angel nodded slowly. "You don’t need help walking?"

"Go!" Benoit ordered.

"Okay." Angel hurried up the ramp.

* * * *

Just as she reached William Regal’s office, Edge and Christian exited it.

"Hey Angel face," Edge grinned. "Sorry about that hurt we just laid on your boy Benoit. It was totally business, okay? Kurt’s our friend."

Angel simply shrugged. "Hurt him. Kill him if you want. Doesn’t worry me."

Edge’s grin widened. "Okay. We’ll see you."

"Yeah, bye guys."

Angel heard Christian speak as the two of them headed off. "You were so right, mon frere. That girl is cool!"

"See, I told you. She’s totally awesome!"

Angel smiled to herself and opened the door to Commissioner Regal’s office. "Hi Commissioner Regal."

Regal frowned at her. "Angel, my dear girl. Have you come to arrange a match for Chris Benoit?"

"Yeah, I have. Tonight he wants…"

"I’m very sorry, but I’ve already booked Mr. Benoit in a match. You’re too late."

"I am? You have? Well, he wants Kurt Angle, so…"

"Well, that is fortunate, because he has him."

"Really? Great. Benoit versus Angle." She turned to leave.

"Not so fast, Miss Torres. It’s a six-man tag. Edge and Christian just visited me and informed me that they wanted six man with their friend Kurt Angle."

Angel nodded. "So, who are Benoit’s partners?"

Regal broke into a smile. "Oh, I think you’ll like it. I hear they’re two young men you know very well."

Angel went pale. "No," she breathed. "Please, no."

Regal frowned. "You’ve been in the Hardy Boyz corner countless times. You don’t want that tonight?"

"I’m no longer affiliated with that team," Angel said quietly.

"Hmm, that is unfortunate. You understand I can’t change things now. I’m actually on my way to see Mr. McMahon, and then to the ring. For tonight, you’ll just have to manage, I’m afraid."

Angel just shook her head and walked numbly to the door.

* * * *

"I want the night off," Angel announced as soon as she entered the locker room.

"What? Why?" Benoit demanded.

"Because I don’t want to go out for your match."

"My match," Benoit repeated. "Did you get me Kurt?"

Angel nodded slowly. "Yeah, I got you Kurt. And Edge. And Christian. It’s six man tag."

"Edge and Christian," Benoit grinned. "Perfect. So, who are my partners?"

Angel scowled. "I think you can work it out."

Benoit stared at her in surprise, then started a low, evil laugh.

"It’s not funny!" Angel cried, becoming even more pissed off.

"Little girl, it’s hilarious," Benoit laughed.

"You mean you’re okay with this?" Angel demanded.

"I have a match against Kurt and his mindless yes-men. That’s all I care about."

Angel glowered at him. "You’re a son of a bitch."

Benoit started laughing again. "So, princess. You know at least one Hardy brother very well. Do they like to talk about it first or just get it on?"

Angel’s eyes flashed. "What I did with Jeff is none of your damn business."

Benoit frowned. "I was talking about the match."

"Right," Angel fumed. "Sure you were."

Benoit smirked at her. "Night off is denied. And yes, I might pay you too much, but I have a feeling that, at least for tonight, you’ll be worth every penny."

* * * *

Angel stood, stone faced and silent, waiting for the reprise of ‘Shooter’ to accentuate her gloom. Lita and the Hardyz were making their entrance and soon Angel would join them. Soon she would look them in the eye, a week after Lita had told her they were no longer family. A week after Jeff told her he didn’t want to breathe the same air as her, when he had so recently called her his best friend. A week after Matt, the rational one, who generally thought things through and reached the right conclusions, had kept quiet and let Jeff and Lita decide things. The two of them had both said they didn’t want to look at her. After what they’d said and done to her, she sure as hell didn’t want to look at them, either. But now she was going to have to.

The music started and Angel breathed deeply. It was time.

Side by side, Angel and Benoit walked down the ramp, both wearing matching expressions. Cold eyes, set jaws, no smile but not quite a glare. As they approached the ring, Angel fixed her gaze on Lita, then slowly switched it to Jeff. They were both wearing Wrestlemania jerseys, with Lita’s tied above her navel. Angel didn’t need any greater incentive, tearing her own jersey off (to mild pops from the crowd) and revealing her tube top. She and Benoit had reached the ring. They climbed in and stared at their partners, still approaching. A moment before joining them, Angel suddenly ducked out of the ring and landed on the ground. All four people in the ring frowned down at her and then Kurt Angle’s music started. He, Edge and Christian walked down the ramp, accompanied by great pyrotechnics and fanfare. Angel half-smiled and nodded as the others glared.

Benoit, Matt and Jeff all decided to meet their opponents on the ramp and Lita rolled out of the ring next to her cousin.

"Hello Angel," she said coolly.

Angel simply turned her back and walked around the ring so she was now technically standing in Team ECK’s corner. It was kind of fitting, really.

Somehow, Matt and Edge made it into the ring, followed by Jeff for the double team. Edge kicked out from the cover, leaving himself and Jeff legal, but Christian attacked from behind, allowing Edge to tag Kurt.

Angel watched expressionlessly as Kurt went to work on Jeff, just shaking her head from time to time. Kurt finally suplexed Jeff and tagged in Christian, who ran over to knock Matt off the apron.

Jeff slowly found his bearings and looked hopefully into his corner, but his brother wasn’t there. Benoit was though, leaning over the ropes and beckoning for the tag. Jeff’s face fell as he twisted his neck to stare at Angel, who stared back at him with a truly bitchy look on her face. Jeff sighed. He hated this, but Christian was coming back and he desperately needed the tag. He leaped across the ring and tagged in Benoit before he could change his mind.

Benoit went ballistic, attacking anything which could be remotely considered an enemy. He quickly ran after Edge and formed the waistlock, sending him into a German suplex, before setting up for another. Before he could execute it, Kurt attacked him and forced him to break the hold. Just then the Hardyz arrived, grabbed Angle and performed the Poetry in Motion; then Benoit jumped in and locked on the crossface. Just as Kurt was about to tap, Christian arrived to bail out his friend, only to have the same hold applied to him. Tap…tap…tap and that was that.

Her team had won, but Angel felt no sense of victory. Even though her boss and her cousin were on her side, it was her friends who had lost, so any happiness she felt was well and truly stilted.

As usual, Benoit refused to release the hold.

"Let him go!" Angel shouted as Christian screamed. "It’s over! Let him go!"

Suddenly, Kurt rushed in and attacked Benoit, who finally dropped the hold and jumped to his feet, ready to continue things. Kurt ran at him, but Benoit simply lifted him and dumped him from the ring, before diving out onto him.

Back in the ring, Matt was battling Edge. He flagged and scored the Twist of Fate, before Angel heard a furious shout and Rhyno appeared from nowhere. He ran in and speared Matt, then went to check on Edge.

"Oh my God, Matt!" Lita cried, climbing into the ring and running to his aid. "What the hell did you do to him, you monster?" she demanded, turning her blazing eyes to Rhyno.

Feeling a deep sense of foreboding, Angel switched her gaze between her cousin and Rhyno as he started to snort at Lita.

"Lita! Don’t shout at him!" she warned.

But Lita wasn’t done chewing out Rhyno. "Who the hell do you think you are, you big dumb piece of…"

"Lita, watch out!" Angel screamed, but before the words had even left her lips, Rhyno charged, taking Lita down with a vicious spear. He then jumped a way and joined Edge and Christian, who made their retreat, past Angel.

Angel watched them solemnly as they joked about what Rhyno had done and the man himself turned his head and caught her eye.

"She yelled at me!" he panted. "She yelled at me!"

"I know, dude," Edge grinned. "But you totally shut her mouth!"

Angel shook her head sadly and turned back to the ring. Lita was lying facedown and possibly unconscious as Matt, Jeff and several refs crouched nearby and checked on her. Angel grabbed the ropes, pulled herself up so she was standing on the apron and watched as the Hardyz helped Lita up. She looked awful and Angel felt her face crumple.

Suddenly, there were sweaty arms around her waist and she was pulled from the apron. Benoit stared at her with tired eyes, having finally had enough of brawling with Angle for the night.

"Come on."

Angel slapped him away. "Wait…Lita got speared and…"

"And you care?" Benoit asked skeptically.

"Well, she’s my cousin," Angel protested anxiously.

"And?" Benoit prompted.

"And, she’s family!" Angel cried.

"Is she?"

"Yeah, she’s…just shut up, okay?" Angel turned back to the ring, hoping Lita would see that she’d waited, that she was worried. But the only person whose gaze she did meet didn’t seem to care about those things. Jeff’s look was cold enough to freeze the sun and Angel’s worried frown withered beneath its power.

"Is she?" Benoit asked again.

Angel bowed her head, then turned abruptly and stormed up the ramp. "Don’t talk to me," she snapped at Benoit.

He simply swallowed, sniffed wearily and followed her.

Angel didn’t speak at all until they were back in the locker room. She wept silently the whole way, walking quickly so Benoit almost had to run to keep up.

"I left my new jersey at ringside," she said at last, wiping away the last of her tears.

"Have mine," Benoit replied, grabbing his stuff for the shower.

"I don’t want yours."

Benoit shrugged. "Yours was mine anyway. I bought it."

"You did? How much? Fifty bucks?" She reached for her wallet.

Benoit waved her off. "Forget it."

"No, I won’t forget it. Don’t do me any favors, okay? Here’s a hundred. Fifty for that other one and fifty for the new one."

Benoit looked down at the money, then slowly up at Angel. "Take mine."

"I don’t want yours!" Angel shouted.

Benoit snapped, slapping her hands so the money went flying and causing Angel to glare at him accusingly.

"You know what you are?" he spat. "Well, do you? You’re an ungrateful little bitch, that’s what you are!" With that, he shouldered his gym bag and stormed off towards the showers.

Angel watched him, her expression dynamic as she tried to decide on a reaction. Finally, she decided on a scowl and bent down to pick up the money. "I have nothing to be grateful to you for, you asshole. Nothing!" With that, she too stormed off and down the hall.

As it had been a week earlier, the name ‘Shane’ was everywhere.

"I can’t believe what Shane did."

"I always knew he had it in him. He is the Giant Killer after all."

"If he does that one more time I swear I’ll jump ship and go work for Shane."

"Did you see Shane?"

"Did you hear about Shane?"

"Shane."

"Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane."

Finally, Angel had to know. She stopped next to a backstage cameraman, who was reloading film into his camera.

"Everyone keeps talking about Shane."

He turned to her and smiled. "Yeah, that was great, wasn’t it? If I don’t see some action soon I’ll probably head over there."

"Over where?" Angel asked.

"WCW," the guy explained. "Shane bought it out from under Mr. McMahon’s nose. You should’ve seen the look on his face."

"Are you serious?" Angel cried.

"Yeah," the guy grinned.

"Wow, so Shane McMahon now owns Shane Helms?"

The guy frowned, obviously thinking ‘another teenybopper’. "Well, he has to decide who he wants from their pool of talent and who he can poach from over here but yeah, potentially."

"Wow," Angel said again. "That’s awesome. Thanks."

"Hey, no problem," the guy smiled. "I’ll see you around."

"You bet," Angel smiled back, continuing on her way. She really didn’t know where she was going, other than the fact that she didn’t want to see Benoit. How dare he say that to her – that she was ungrateful.

‘Oh yeah,’ she thought. ‘I’m so grateful you hold me against my will. I’m delighted you tell me what to do, where to go, what to wear, what to eat, who to talk to, where to sleep, when to breathe. I’m ec-bloody-static.’

Eventually, she found herself outside the trainer’s room. She stopped when she heard voices coming from inside. Voices with southern accents. Voices she knew well.

‘I’ll just see how she’s doing,’ she decided and pushed the door open before she could change her mind.

Lita was lying on a stainless steel bench as doctors worked on her and the Hardyz looked on. Her face was pale and she looked to be in great pain.

Jeff looked up and spotted Angel. "What the hell do you want?"

Angel set her gaze and turned abruptly to and unoccupied EMT. "I need some ice packs for Chris Benoit. Two would be good." As he went to retrieve them, Angel looked back over at Lita. Now, three sets of eyes were on her.

"Yeah, Angel," Lita gasped. "Coming to see what your friend did to me? Jeff already told us how tight you are with those three."

Angel’s face was now cold. "Who I’m friends with has nothing to do with you."

"But that Rhyno attacked her!" Matt cried. "Attacked Lita!"

"She shouldn’t have gotten in the way," Angel said quietly.

"Here’s your ice, ma’am," a voice beside her said.

She spun to face it. "Thank you." She turned and started to leave the room. Coming here had been a mistake, especially since she really didn’t need ice.

"Angel," Jeff called after her, but she ignored him. "Just because you hang with Benoit doesn’t mean you’re untouchable."

Now Angel stopped and turned back, locking her eyes on Jeff’s. "Is anyone?" she asked, before pointedly shifting her gaze to Lita. "Not even the two of you could keep her safe." With those words, she made her exit. Jeff had leaped after her and caught her just outside the door. Angel spun defensively and looked into Jeff’s narrowing eyes.

"I didn’t want to say this in front of Lita, but what the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with me?" Angel demanded.

"Yeah, you! She’s your cousin. Can’t you show a little bit of compassion for what happened to her? Don’t you care?"

"Is she my cousin, Jeff?" Angel asked, unknowingly paraphrasing Benoit. "Is that was she says or is that what you say?"

"She’s your cousin and she’s hurt and you don’t care."

By now, Angel was furious. "Does she care about me? If it was me in there, would she even stop to check on me?"

"Of course she…"

"Don’t lie to me!" Angel cried. "She doesn’t care, you don’t care, so don’t pretend like you do."

"I really don’t get you, Angel," Jeff told her. "After all me and Matt told you, you’re still friends with Edge and Christian?"

"Damn straight I am," Angel growled.

"Why?"

"Why? Because, unlike you, Matt and Lita, I have never had a problem with them."

"So you’re okay with Rhyno doing this? Spearing women?"

Angel shrugged. "That’s what he does. If she can’t take it, maybe she shouldn’t be out there."

"I don’t believe you," Jeff scowled. "You really have some screwed up priorities."

"Priorities," Angel repeated.

"Yeah," Jeff challenged. "Lita is your cousin and far be it from the problems you and I might have, she’s still your family and…"

"She’s not my family!" Angel snapped, causing Jeff to stare at her in surprise. "She said so herself. And you have no right to be saying any of this to me, after what the two of you said a week ago."

"After what we said?"

"Yeah! I thought you guys were my friends, that you cared. But you said you didn’t want to breathe the same air as me. She said she doesn’t consider me family. Both of you said you never wanted to look at me again. That hurt, Jeff. That hurt so bad, far worse than a spear from Rhyno ever could. And you expect me to come running back just because Lita yelled at my new friend and any fool can see he doesn’t like that? Yeah, Jeff. Edge, Christian and Rhyno are my friends. I had to find some new ones after you guys kicked me out. And they, unlike you, are nice to me. They, unlike you, understand that my thing with Benoit is simply a job and I will never, ever like him. And they, unlike you, have never said anything half as cruel as what you and Lita said to me last week. So, don’t tell me who I should or shouldn’t care about, Jeff. You don’t have the right."

Then, after giving him one last intense glare, she turned to leave.

Suddenly, she heard applause.

"Way to go, Angel face. That was totally awesome."

"Yeah, it reeked of you showed him."

Angel stared at Edge and Christian without softening her scowl.

"Hey, you need a ride back to the hotel?" Edge asked.

"No, I’m not done here yet," Angel growled.

"Whoa, what’s with the tone?" Edge asked. "Rainbow Brite has left the hallway."

"I’m not very happy with the two of you right now, either," Angel told them, walking past them and down the hall.

They were immediately on her tail. "Us? What did we do?"

"You let Rhyno attack Lita."

Edge caught her arm and spun her round. "That bothers you?"

"Yeah, it does. She’s my cousin and you knew that. I don’t blame Rhyno, but the two of you shouldn’t have let it happen."

"Hold on a minute," Edge frowned. "I totally don’t like this. What about what you just said to Captain Hair Dye of the USS Obsession?"

Angel sighed. "Lita might not consider us family, but I do. What if you were having an argument with Christian and, say, the Big Show came out of nowhere and chokeslammed him?"

Edge and Christian looked at each other, then back at Angel. "We don’t argue."

"No, but if you did."

"I’d say it’d be con-chair-to time."

"Totally," Christian agreed.

"See?" Angel asked. "That’s all I’m saying. I’ll see you guys round when I’ve cooled off a bit."

Edge and Christian watched her go, before Christian spoke.

"Dude, that girl’s got Fourth of July fireworksness going on!"

"Totally," Edge agreed. "She’s so an Aries."

"Aries," Christian mused. "January…February…March…hey, it’s like her birthday. Maybe we forgot her birthday and that’s why she’s being such a prize hosebeast."

"Yeah," Edge nodded. "We should definitely get her something."

"Yeah, like one of our shirts," Christian suggested. "She’d love that. What girl wouldn’t, eh?"

"Yeah, and we could even sign it for her."

Christian broke into a grin. "Mon frere, that’s what I call a totally awesome idea."

* * * *

"Where the hell have you been?" Benoit demanded.

Angel scowled at him. "I went to get ice," she replied, holding it up for him.

"I didn’t ask for ice."

Angel dropped it on the floor. "You know what you are? You’re an ungrateful little bitch, that’s what you are."

Benoit simply raised his eyebrows. "Princess," he said coolly. "Don’t blame me for your problems."

"Why not?" Angel asked, just as coolly. "Why should I change things now?"