LAST MAN STANDING

SUNDAY NIGHT HEAT, MARCH 11TH, 2001

"The following match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Angel Torres, from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing in at 215 pounds, one half of the World Wrestling Federation tag team champions, Jeff Hardy."

Angel turned to Jeff as they walked down the ramp. "Long introduction."

Jeff nodded. "I know."

He was wearing his Hardy Boyz basketball jersey while Angel was still dressed in her ‘druid of darkness’ gear, with Jeff’s title belt draped over her shoulder. They reached the ring and Jeff held the ropes so she could enter, before Jeff signaled the crowd and handed his belt to the ring announcer. He then stood face to face with Angel and nodded at her. Slowly, keeping her eyes on Jeff, she lowered her hood, then took off her shades and handed them to him. Jeff broke into a smile and nodded again. Next, Angel moved her arms to the bottom of her sweatshirt and pulled it off to reveal Lita’s purple Team eXtreme crop top. The crowd went wild and Angel grinned at Jeff.

"Thanks for this, Jeff. It means so much that you’d do this for me."

Jeff smiled back. "My pleasure, ‘Gel."

They wrapped their arms around each other, getting quite a pop from the crowd, which only escalated when Angel tilted her head up and kissed him.

Suddenly, the first few notes of a song called ‘Shooter’ filled the air and they broke apart to watch the next entry.

Miles away, Tazz and Michael Cole were adding their commentary.

"Look, Tazz. It’s Chris Benoit! What’s he doing here?"

"What do you mean what’s he doing here? I don’t know what Jeff Hardy was thinking just now, but you do not kiss another man’s valet. That’s just asking for trouble."

"Well, we’re about to see just how much trouble as Benoit reaches the bottom of the ramp."

Benoit glared up at Angel. "You!" he shouted, pointing to the ground. "Now!"

Angel started to move away but Jeff grabbed her by the face, turned her head and started kissing her again as the crowd cheered wildly.

Benoit was livid, jumping into the ring and grabbing Angel by the leg. He dragged her through the ropes and onto the ground, depositing her on her feet. Angel scowled at him and shook her head slowly, then emphatically turned her back and leaned on the apron.

"There’s a lot of heat out there already, Cole, and we’ve still only got one guy in the ring."

That was about to change.

Angel waited patiently for ‘Latino Heat’ but instead, the Radicalz song played and all four of them stepped out onto the stage.

Jeff glowered at them. "Guerrero!"

"I can’t hear you, essa!" Eddie called back. "Why don’t I come a bit closer so you can tell me all about it, huh?"

He strutted cockily down the ramp, thinking his fellow Radicalz were following right behind him. He was only half-right.

"Now look! It’s Matt Hardy and Lita!"

"The picture is complete now, Michael Coleslaw," Tazz replied as Lita attacked Malenko and Matt fought both Saturn and Terri, which was not too difficult, given Terri’s abilities. The bell rang. The match had started.

Jeff began with a flourish, running at Guerrero, but the move was anticipated and Eddie sent him into the corner with an Irish whip, then launched a series of punches.

"Come on, Jeff!" Angel cried as Matt, Lita and the other Radicalz battled on.

Eddie kept getting in punches but Jeff used the ropes to help swing his legs up and kick Eddie away, then he climbed to the top turnbuckle and stopped an advancing Eddie with a corkscrew moonsault.

"Yeah, Jeff!" Angel applauded, jumping up and down.

Next Jeff ran at Eddie, fists flying, but Eddie was prepared and caught him with a belly to belly suplex. Eddie ran at the ropes, setting up for another vicious takedown, but Jeff had bounced right back to his feet and was ready, lifting Eddie into a body back drop which made him fly right into the ref. Jeff saw the tangle of bodies and smiled down at Angel, who was waiting in his corner. He lifted a dazed Eddie off the ref and dragged him to the corner.

"Pole him, Angel!"

Angel grinned sadistically and grabbed Eddie’s legs on either side of the ring post, then pulled them towards her, hard. The crowd let out a collective cry of sympathy as Eddie screamed, writhing in agony.

Jeff took another look at the fallen ref and nodded to himself. "Come on in, ‘Gel."

Not caring what Benoit had to say, Angel climbed onto the apron, where Jeff grabbed her carefully and lifted her into the ring. They then turned to Eddie, grabbed one side each and double whipped him into the ropes. As he made his return journey, they each caught one arm and one leg and sent him for a spin cycle, before throwing him into the corner again. They ran into the corner and strung Eddie up on the ropes, then Angel grabbed Jeff’s arm.

"Poetry In Motion?"

Jeff nodded and Angel took a few steps away and dropped to her hands and knees. Jeff took a run up, springboarded off Angel’s back and slammed his legs into Eddie’s face. Eddie toppled forward onto the canvas as Angel got to her feet and high-fived Jeff. The ref gave a moan and started to stir so Angel decided it was time to leave. She rolled from the ring as Jeff picked Eddie up and dropped him in a clumsy powerslam, then went for the lateral press.

The ref was back with his eyes on the action.

"One…two…" But somehow Eddie kicked out. Jeff jumped to his feet and ran at the ropes, ready for the takedown, but Eddie ducked and sent him over in a huge suplex, before making the cover.

Jeff kicked out quickly but Eddie still had the advantage, lifting his opponent for a vertical suplex. Somehow, Jeff twisted his body in midair and landed on his feet so that he and Eddie were now back to back. Jeff reached back, grabbed Eddie around the neck and threw him across the ring in a devastating takedown. Before he could recover, Jeff lifted his legs from the canvas, spread them and brought his own legs down between them. He smiled down at Eddie’s pain and climbed to the top turnbuckle, where he bowed for the crowd, signaling the Swanton Bomb. It was time for Jeff to fly. Unfortunately, by the time he reached the canvas, Eddie had moved and Jeff’s back hit the deck with a painful thud.

Eddie took a few seconds to look down and find out where his teammates were.

"What’s happening, guys? You’re supposed to be helping me destroy this little child."

"Here, Eddie!" Malenko cried. He’d managed to lose Lita long enough to grab Jeff’s title belt from the ring announcer and now placed it in Eddie’s corner. Eddie broke into an evil grin as he stepped over to pick it up. Title belt. His weapon of choice.

The ref was less impressed. "You can’t use that. If you use it, I’m going to disqualify you."

"Calm down, essa," Eddie replied innocently. "I’m just playin’ with it, you know?"

But when the ref tried to take it from him, Eddie wouldn’t let go. They played tug-of-war for a few seconds until the ref made a big grab for it and Eddie released it. The belt flew back into the ref’s face as his own momentum sent his head slamming against the ring post, knocking him out cold.

"See?" Eddie grinned, snatching up the belt again. "We can all share it. Now it’s the Hardy boy’s turn."

But, as he spun to see where Jeff was, he was met with a massive drop kick to the face, which floored him and forced him to drop the belt. Jeff instinctively picked it up and looked over at the fallen ref, a sick smile on his face. He took a few steps backwards for a run up.

"No! Jeff! Let me!"

Jeff spun to his corner. "You wanna do it?"

Angel nodded eagerly.

Jeff’s smile widened. "Well, come on in!"

He slid the title belt along the canvas as Angel climbed back into the ring. Jeff picked Eddie up from the ground and held him as Angel switched her gaze from the belt in her hands to Eddie’s semi-conscious face.

"I have been wanting to do this for so long!" she cried, starting to run towards him.

It seemed to happen in slow motion. Angel reached Eddie, the belt hurtled forward, Eddie opened his eyes and ducked in the nick of time, the belt continued on its way and collected Jeff’s forehead instead.

Three things dropped. Jeff dropped Eddie, Angel dropped the belt and Jeff dropped to the ground. Angel’s hands flew to her mouth. "Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"Thank you, ‘cita," Eddie grinned, getting to his feet. "Maybe you are Radicalz material after all." He stepped wearily over to her and clutched her in a hug that held about as much affection as a Judas kiss. "Unfortunately, Mr. Chris Benoit doesn’t want you to be a Radical no more."

He changed his hold and sent her for a huge back body drop, which slammed her own head into the discarded title belt. Eddie rolled her over and placed the belt on her head, then climbed the ropes for the frogsplash.

"Hasta la vista, my Radicalz sister!" he shouted as he began his flight. At that moment – bam – a chair shot changed his course and he fell painfully to the ground. He tried to get to his feet and work out what had happened. Just as he saw his attacker, the chair swung round again. This time he didn’t even make it to his feet before the chair hit him. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Eddie’s eyes were closed. He wouldn’t be getting up any time soon.

Still clutching the chair, Benoit smirked down at his former comrade and slowly shook his head.

"Eddie, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you not to touch her."

With that, he threw in one more chair shot for good measure, then turned to leave.

Only one man had seen what had happened. Perry Saturn had managed to drop Matt and leaped into the ring to confront Benoit. Benoit was ready for him. Bam. Down went Saturn. Terri rushed to her boyfriend’s aid. Bam. Down went Terri. Matt finally looked up to see Jeff and Angel’s bodies lying in the ring and Benoit with the chair in his hands and immediately came to the wrong conclusion, rushing the ring.

"Benoit, you damn son of a…"

Bam. Down went Matt.

Benoit held the very bent chair over his head. "Anyone else want to try me? Anyone?"

On the floor, Malenko was catching his breath after a spirited battle with Lita, which had ended with him suplexing her onto the steel steps and knocking her out.

"I’ll prove you wrong, you cocky piece of crap." He climbed into the ring and prepared for battle. Bam. Down went Malenko. Over in the corner, Jeff was starting to recover after Angel’s title belt shot to his head. He focused on Benoit and the chair.

"Benoit," he spat. "You goddamn…" Bam. Jeff was silenced.

Still smirking, Benoit threw the chair away and surveyed the seven bodies in the ring and one outside. As JR would say, it looked like a damn car wreck. He decided to tidy things up a bit. One boot and Malenko fell from the ring. Another boot and Saturn followed him. Next he lifted Terri and dropped her over the top rope and onto Saturn. It was Matt’s turn. Benoit kicked him in the kidneys a couple of times before shoving him out onto the steel steps, next to Lita.

Eddie, Angel and Jeff were the only ones left. Benoit grabbed Jeff by the arm and dragged him towards Eddie, then draped Jeff’s arm over the top. He looked down on the two of them as he started to hear sounds of movement coming from the corner where the ref lay. Eddie or Jeff. Jeff or Eddie. Benoit had the power to decide the outcome of the match. Neither of these two was capable of breaking the count. The question was, who deserved the win? One had been his long-term friend, the other part of a team that had a long-standing feud with Benoit’s former team. One was his most recent enemy, the other was possibly his valet’s boyfriend. The choice was his. Scowling, he shook his head, before violently kicking both of them. He lifted Jeff’s upper body and slammed him back down so that his arm was no longer on Eddie. Then he gave Eddie another kick, which moved him just far enough from Jeff to remove any possibility of an incidental cover.

Still shaking his head, Benoit dragged Angel’s body to the very edge of the ring, before exiting. He gathered Angel up and put her over his shoulder, before turning back in time to see the ref stumbling to his feet. Nodding slowly, he started up the ramp as the ref began the count.

"One! Two!"

In his arms, Angel had started to show signs of life. "Jeff," she slurred, not realizing who had her. "Jeff, did we win? Did we win?"

"Yeah, princess," Benoit smirked as the count continued. "We won."

"Nine! Ten!" The ring bell sounded, signaling the end of the match as EMTs appeared from all angles.

"Well, MC," Tazz was saying. "The match is over and we still don’t have a winner."

"Actually, Tazz. I think the only winner in this case was Chris Benoit."

As if hearing his name, Benoit stopped on the stage and turned back to give the scene one last smirk. With his mission well and truly accomplished and his valet over his shoulder, he stepped calmly off the stage and through the curtain, another match complete.