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| SCHOOL STORE - In a miraculous turn of events, Denise Heinle held a record 385-minute phone conversation today as she finished the fine list for the 2001-2002 academic year. Although the recipient of the phone call remains unknown, the conversation persisted for what amounted to a full seven school hours of classtime. "I was just talking and talking, and doing some work, and talking some more," Bookstore Official Denise Heinle said. "When I finished the fine list I had to get off the phone, and when I did the little display at the top read that I'd been on all day." Eye witnesses who captured the event in progress have been commemorating the perseverence of our school's own champion. "When I went to buy eraser heads during fourth hour, I saw her on her phone in there and thought, 'Wow, I wonder if these eraser heads, and my academic success for that matter, are really that important right now,'" junior Allison Gulliblessi said. "She was on a mission." Other students fortunate enough to catch Heinle's progress were beset with a different experience. Some were faced with little or no service to their needs, but only the expense of what sources are now calling "vain prestige." "It was fifth hour study hall when I came down to pick up my prom pictures," said Lance Burgerman. "Mrs. Heinle told me to show her my ID before taking my pictures. When I approached the counter, she was on the phone and told me to come around the counter to show it to her at her desk. When I did, she asked me to mark my own name off the list, take the pictures, and go. I was just so proud of her." According to sources, Heinle immediately celebrated her accomplishments by once again getting on the phone, this time alerting Principal Beth Plunkett, who then contacted district audio-visual specialists and had her phone disconnected. Since then the Guinness Book of World Records has been contacted. The school, in the interest of improving the efficiency of her work, has discussed the possibility of grafting a phone to Heinle's ear. If this were to take place, according to newly elected school board officials, certain budget items would have to be reconsidered. To compensate for the decrease in spending capacity, the school district is requiring Mrs. Heinle's Caramello bars to be marketed in school stores throughout the district. -Measley Phillips, Staff Writer |
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| School Store lady sets record phone conversation Students forget academic qualms in light of inspiring achievement |