The English Department has always been focused on encouraging quality products, and the Master Portfolios this year are emblematic of that idea. The Portfolios are a sampling of the graduating student's best work, to either be handed down to their English professors in college, who don't give a damn, or kept as a memento of their hard work in a dusty unlabled box of crap.
Due to the extravagant amount of extra credit given out for their completion, the Class of 2002 has set a record for the number of complete Portfolios. "You know, it's not about the extra credit, I did it for the really pretty sticker we get. It's all about the sticker," one student was quoted as saying.
On the other hand, some students were not completely filled with the sense of satisfaction with completing the Portfolio that the English teachers promised. "So who do I give this to now?", "Where's my damn sticker?", and "Is the school just trying to get in good with the recycling companies?" echoed throughout some English classrooms. The English teachers were quick to defend. "Look, we don't know what to do with them but we know you have to do them," explained English teacher Doc Page pragmatically.
And do them we must! To encourage next year's success, the English
department is considering giving better incentives for the upcoming classes, such as "scratch and sniff" stickers that say "You Did It!" in a hologram. A recent poll of juniors revealed that 90 percent of students surveyed would be in support of "scratch and sniff," while the other 10 percent voted for popsicles. |
