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| The vote is in, and by an overwhelming majority, the new motto of Parkway West's NHS chapter is officially "We're Better Than You." The selection of this motto came as a shock to some NHS officers. President Anna Golynskaya grumbled, "This is crazy. I didn't know that phrase was even in the running. I sure didn't vote for it." "Me neither," said Vice President Shobha Philips. "Oh. ...I did," said Secretary Alla Goldburt. A teacher who preferred to remain anonymous explained the change. "It makes perfect sense if you think about it. They've been trying to get the point across slowly over the past several years, but other societies keep mimicing them. First tassels, then honor cords, then finally they came up with the NHS collar, but apparently Mu Alpha Theta and Quill and Scroll are getting in on that, too." When asked to elaborate, the teacher explained that the multicolored collars will be stackable, not unlike "those strange little Russian dolls." Reports indicate that subtlety was simply becoming too much of a nuisance, and the Society finally had to choose between fluorescent NHS mortarboards and a new slogan to establish their superiority. Ultimately, the latter was considerably cheaper. This change will have far-reaching effects on the entire Society. Previously, membership in NHS was based upon the "Four Pillars" of service, character, leadership, and scholarship. In the future, BULL sources have been told, the application will simply consist of an essay question asking the applicant to explain why he or she is "better than you." NHS officials plan to emblazon the new slogan on next year's NHS collars, even though they will be covered up by those of other honor societies. "It's the thought that counts," Alla Goldburt said. |
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| New NHS motto approved: "We're Better Than You" New slogan to be emblazoned on next year's NHS collars |