Time Machine
If I had a time machine, I would go back in time and tell Napoleon
Dynamite that he had a fake time machine and was going to injure
himself in a painful way. Even though he had the crystal, the person
on eBay was a liar. After that I would go back even further and
help Uncle Rico throw the touchdown pass at the State
Championship Game so he would be a big star and never come and
bug Napoleon and eat all off his steaks. I would also help Kip with
his Rex Kwando so he can be faster than Napoleon. But, if I did
this, their would be no Napoleon Dynamite movie and John Deeder
would be just some random dude living in Ohio eating potatoes and
lettuce.