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my lifes obscure,
i cant deny,
its great to live,
just not sure why!
things swung round bad,
they've turned out good,
its time to ask,
i know i should.
she wants me to,
i want a yes,
i know she will,
no need to guess.
we sat and talked,
we got things straight,
cant let things lie,
its not too late.
we had been stressed,
uncertain ground,
just stopped to look,
the answer found.
so we both know,
just where we stand,
its moved so fast,
not like we'd planned.
but who's to care?
its up to us,
its not so hard,
we dont need fuss.
just time to think,
we've had that now,
she likes me still!
just dont know how,
we got his far,
thats not like me!
am i still 'him'?
best wait and see.
its strange how things,
just change so much,
i look back now,
been out of touch.
just bodged my life,
id made a mess,
those sleepless nights,
and untold stress.
im such a plum,
ive been so dense,
had no attack,
yet strong defense.
just nice to see,
that maybe soon,
my life will work,
they'll sing 'my' tune.
ill be stress free,
to some extent,
hooray for us!
and now im spent... ;)
____________________
NEW> Us
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it all fell thru'
im sat here now
i want to write
i dont know how
the musics on
the lights r dim
i lost it all
because of him
he messed it up
he lost his friend
he forced it down
a dark dead end
he met this girl
this messed his head
he told his 'friend'
she wants him dead
she loved him so
he'd no reply
it seemed so clear
he made her cry
a bigger risk
he could not take
she gave her heart
for him to break
he did just that
he backed away
the friendship lost
no other way
now silence reigns
his sights reset
disrupted by
that girl he met
so that is that
none left to say
he hopes for things
to swing his way
hes sat here now
he shares my names
cos he is me
we play harsh games
we tear them up
and spit them out
our scheming ways
leave room for doubt
we try so hard
to make things right
we dont go down
without a fight
i hate that boy
hes not like me
yet lives my life
hence 'us' - u see?
in text im me
in life im him
cant hack him off
infectious limb
or id be gone
ill be gone now
we'll get things right
just dont know how
so if u know
feel free to tell
i need ur help
til then, farewell.
____________________
---
theres more to life
than sitting here
could shoot some drugs
could drink some beer
but i just dont
i bide my time
i sit and think
get bored in rhyme
then wonder why
i feel so down
at home recluse
at school a clown
ill sit here now
and watch the clock
so much to say
no writers block
just got no ink
just got no friends
just need to talk
my life depends
on getting out
whats in my head
its either that
or end up dead
from stress and strains
i make myself
im not alone
or on the shelf
beyond this chair
im happy still
but sit back here
much time to fill
and type away
poetic rhymes
while those like me
go down for crimes
all done in fun
thats not for me
im far too low
im parbery.
____________________
---
If I wrote poems
You'd class me gay,
For idle minds
See life that way.
Cos unlike me
You hate your life.
You hold to me
A bladeless knife.
You're down so low
You're not like me.
So i just smile,
cant make you see
That life wont start
Til love it finds,
To take the pain
From tortured minds.
Til it all falls through
And resentment starts,
The bitterness comes,
Deflated hearts.
But thats not yet!
Don't get me wrong,
The good comes first,
The road is long.
You're insecure,
Its all a waste,
A stronger drink
With poison laced.
You'll see im right,
It's always so.
You think you're there,
So far to go.
I've been there now,
I'm there again.
It's jotted down
But not with pen.
I don't expect
That you will see,
The sense in words
That come from me.
You're all so blind,
I wish you well
On the one-way fall
To a loveless hell.
You bitter fools,
Don't put me down,
Or hold me under
Cos I wont drown.
I'm past all that,
Choke words in vain
I've done it all,
I know the pain.
So open up,
Let love find you.
Don't block it out,
I'll help you through.
So, class me gay,
Do what you need.
I'll watch you grow,
this was the seed.
____________________
---
It's gotten late, it's hard to think,
my hands too tired to write in ink.
I type too much, i cannot spell,
my hairs all slick, begun to smell.
The dogs asleep, i would be too,
but mums home late, I've firk to do,
sept swat that fly thats always there,
landing soft upon my hair.
But moan i wont cos more's to say,
I'll ramble on about my day.
It started crap but got fair worse,
the sisters car, informal herse.
My clothes got stained, the garden done,
the rain came down to end the fun.
But nevermind cos half was more,
than I had planned to do before.
So the day progressed and bored I got,
just played some games, began to rot,
just waiting for half six to come
i needed drink, went got me some,
then called up 'boy' who wont go out,
cos he was 'ill', no need to shout.
But things got worse and tv called,
if Kelleher knew he'd be appalled,
that a man like me did watch the box,
in comfty chair and knee length socks,
when I should be sat here like this,
typing Parbys literal piss,
which might sound odd but I can't care
it's not that good so does seem fair.
But people with their denser brain,
will class me sad or just insane.
But none the less I'll carry on,
I've got no ryhme I'll input 'John',
to fill the gap I need to fill,
to keep this mess going more downhill,
cos it will you know, just wait and see,
you'll call me names yet envy me,
cos only Jess can do the same,
it's not just me, ill pass the blame.
I'm tired now, I'd end this here,
but i cant be arsed. (cuts out the cheer).
So on I'll go and you will read,
though status states there is no need,
cos this is me and it's myself,
the perfect ryhme for here is 'shelf',
but that wont fit, oops in it goes,
all done in fun to squash ur toes.
I've typed a thing like this before,
a verbal Parby-Jamie war,
where no one wins and losers reign,
a quick way out from mental pain.
The music drones its third time round,
a background noise, a mono-sound,
that's far too loud for this time of night,
where evil lurks and bed bugs bite,
and all those things that scare u most,
go head to head with chargrilled toast,
in a world of dreams where all is mad,
where good meets odd and odd meets bad.
Where parby stays and never leaves,
but you lot visit, the Daydream Theives,
to mess me up, to put me down,
to throw me in and watch me drown.
To lay me down and beat me up,
to drain my life into a cup,
then drink me down like crimson wine,
then wake me up, pretend I'm fine,
when no I'm not, I'm going odd,
they'll label me a 'queer ol' sod'.
They'll make their jokes and mock me bad,
but it's welcome attention, so I'll be glad,
cos stuck offline I start to think,
that maybe I should be a shrink,
or better still go talk to one,
we've lots in common, we'll have some fun.
I'm yet to blink, no need to breathe,
I wont go deep, just heart on sleeve,
for you to poke with razor knives,
while I just watch you waste ur lives,
with mindless things you needn't do,
then turn around say, 'good for you',
but I dont mean it, I lie all the time,
my actions false yet not a crime,
cos nothing states that truth is right,
it's just a way to start a fight,
and being me I'd rather not,
I'd like to save the strength I've got,
for future fights that I wont start,
those painful fights that tear your heart,
like cat by dogs or lamb by fox,
to fall right down and hit those rocks,
all laid before to catch me out,
I over step, you hear me shout,
yet leave me be, you see me drop,
a scarlet mess, you'll need a mop,
to clear me up to rinse me off,
I'll rise again to be that moth,
that hits the bulb en-tranced by light,
just flying blind no need for sight,
believing me, my preset plans,
ignoring hoards of mindless fans.
To waste my time, to try in vain,
but never think to stop the pain,
cos that pain's mine it's all I got,
to help me through, untwist my plot,
to get me by when no one can,
to guide me with my master plan,
a plan ive had for many years,
a plan that takes me through my fears,
and through the pain and through the hurt,
to a place of cash and formal shirt.
No need for tie or slick black shoes,
no need to drown in cheap warm booze,
cos I'll be there where big boys play,
The Fabled Parb, 'hip hip hooray',
they'll cheer for me, they'll want me there,
I'll watch your envy, your stark dispair,
at what I have and what you dont,
I'll laugh at you dont think I wont,
cos you have me, your all the same,
you think its all some stupid game,
but when I'm there you'll see my light,
and how I've coped through all the shite,
to get right here where I wanna be,
a place in the sun pre-booked for me.
So there you go, I've rambled on,
the minutes passed wont wait, they're gone,
you've lost them now it makes you think,
you feel so good, you're on the brink,
of something bad, you know you are,
just try to hide, you wont get far.
I do it too, I know the script,
you think your there, in truth ur flipped,
but only they can see the truth,
your goat-like face and cloven hoof.
So think right now of what I've said,
just let it sink into ur head,
and cancel out the thoughts you like,
then run them through with one long spike,
cos they mean bob and soon you'll see,
that real life's portrayed through me...
____________________
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a big hello from me to ye... from parbery... for he, like me, is only three yet smiles with glee so pleased to see, a hairy patch, a safety latch, a rabbit that u need to catch, a porch, a door, ur wanting more so round and round hes bound to score, a goal, a pole, a mouse, a vole, a chicken leg, a deep dark hole... a cat, a mat, a dirty rat, a shitty diet that keeps him fat... the tables and cables and stickyback labels r kept informed to tell these fables, to kids and flids and jam jar lids, and auction room for random bids... the monkey, a junkie, a slammity dunkie, for many years, held back his fears, of minkies and pinkies, the pinapples jeers... the queers, more beers, those chipmunk ears... as time went on big chesty ron,(we swore he'd gone)a swan, and john, a ranch (lon lon)... a game, too tame, was put to shame, from whence, tis said, destruction came... but twice, the ice, that felt so nice, and hairy rice for twice the price, was said to offer good advice... the runny honey felt so funny, was far too sunny, just grabbed a bunny... big jon he chewed cos rabbit food was putting barry in the mood... the tie, the belt, the fuzzy felt, a postage stamp, was getting damp from sitting by the water lamp, where vamp, new champ, set up her camp upon the ramp of minkymoo, excuse me do, a muffin bucket, the chosen few... the moaning, the groaning, fish after de-boning, the bucket, the tube, a slippery lube... we started to slow as the poem moved on, the time was approaching, so soon to be gone... the rhyming near stopped yet ol' parbys still here... a parrot, a carrot, the time is so near... then lights had gone out and the parby was lost, so frightened to think what this rambling had cost... a fiver, a tenner, the notes warm and soft, the genesis albums alone in the loft... a person came back, the parby departs... mixing his drinks with those fine works of art... the noise, the lights, the soulful tune, all gone for now, then back so soon... the author is? u ask urself, a raving hoon sat on the shelf...
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