Nanowar
I think this is the
kind of interview that everyone who has a good sense of humor should read...
Period. I think I've already said enough. I don't want to spoil the pleasure...
So, R - E - A - D!!!!
1.HELLO THERE! YOU EXIST AS A BAND
MANY THOUSANDS OF YEARS NOW, SO SINCE I DIDN’T GET TO LIVE IN ANCIENT TIMES,
I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU. HERE WE GO:
-YOU CLAIM TO BE THE TRUEST METAL BAND IN
THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, SO DO YOU THINK IMITATORS OF YOURS EXIST IN PARALLEL
UNIVERSES OR IN OTHER GALAXIES? WILL YOU SUE THEM?
Gatto: Well, according to the quantum-cosmological
theory of the many universes, I think there should exist an uncountable
number of NanowaR Of Steel bands living in parallel universes corresponding
to several quantum jumps. But since I am a traditional Quantum Mechanics
believer I'd rather say we're the only TRUE metal band in the known universe.
Potowotominimak: Anywhere in the galaxy only
Gamma Ray exists, it’s a scientific theory.
-YOU ARE THE TRUEST METAL BAND, BUT HOW DID YOU
MAKE IT IN ANCIENT TIMES, WHEN ELECTRICITY DIDN’T EXIST? IS THIS WHY YOU
USE THE BROOMS IN YOUR SHOWS? WHAT CHANGES (OTHER THAN ELECTRICITY OF COURSE)
HAVE YOU SEEN TAKING PLACE IN HEAVY METAL MUSIC ALL THESE YEARS?
Gatto: Of course playing in ancient times
was harder, but don't forget that the Iron Age wasn't called that way by
random chance, but because then there was a materialization of what a TRUE
METAL world should be: no haircut, smell bad, woman be my slave and so
on.
Potowotominimak: We use brooms because Gatto
suffers from incontinence, so we have to keep the stage clean periodically
during the show, to avoid the risk to slip above the crowd. About the changes
we've seen... Well, first of all the passage from Latin, passing through
vulgar language to English. This is the great evolution our music has taken.
The next passage? We will sing in Kobaian (if you’re a real musical reporter
you should know what I’m talking about).
-WHICH ARE YOUR MOST IMPORTANT MOMENTS AS A BAND
AND A MOVEMENT?
Gatto: Our most important moments as a movement?
Are you talking of the Gaypride-2000 organization?
2.I’VE ALSO SEEN YOU KILLED A DRAGON. WOULD YOU
LIKE TO DESCRIBE THIS EXPERIENCE? I DIDN’T KNOW DRAGONS STILL EXISTED NOWADAYS?
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A FRIGHTENING AND BLOOD SHEDDING CONFRONTATION…
Potowotominimak: Yes, because the dragon was
female and in her “red days”.
Gatto: Please don't remind this to me, Greenpeace
is still looking for us since it seems that Dragons are a kind of protected
endangered species....
3.CARE TO GIVE US SOME DETAILS ON “MADE IN NAPLES”,
YOUR NEW CD? HAVE ANY SERIOUS INCIDENTS OCCURRED TO YOU WHILST RECORDING
IT?
Gatto: Yes we had to be lobotomized before
recording that, which for some of us meant to actually get a brain at all!
Potowotominimak: Yes but there's more we could
say: for example, Baffo ate the master CD, so we re-recorded the whole
album in a single night, that’s the reason of some mixing imperfections.
By me, I died during the first recording session of an illness you’d prefer
not to know. Now I’m an undead.
4.TELL ME… IS THIS A SMURF OR A DWARF YOU HAVE
ON YOUR COVER ARTWORK? YOUR MUSIC IS EPIC AND TRUE HEAVY METAL, BUT HE
DOESN’T LOOK TOO GRIM TO ME. WHY? DON’T YOU TAKE YOUR MUSIC SERIOUSLY ENOUGH?
AND WHAT’S THAT? ISN’T IT AN ELECTRIC GUITAR HE’S HOLDING? THAT’S A SHAME…
Gatto: No dude, the dwarf is actually holding
a mandolin! You know? Italians, pizza, pasta, mandolino, amore!
5.YOUR LYRICS DERIVE FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES.
THIS UNDERSTANDING STRUCK ME AS SOON AS I READ THE SONGS ABOUT FIGHTING
THE DRAGON AND HOW YOU CAN KILL THEM… ALL SO VERY TRUE! YOUR WEAPONS MUST
BE WORN OUT FROM ALL THIS FIGHTING AND I BET IT MUST BE REALLY EXHAUSTING
FOR YOU TO WRITE LYRICS, SINCE YOU HAVE TO LIVE EVERY MINUTE OF THEM…
Gatto: Yes sure. It's hard to go through certain
experiences, but it is surely harder to convey those feelings you've felt,
and this is what our ART is all about.
6.THE LYRICS OF “TO KILL A DRAGON YOU NEED A SWORD”
HAVE BEEN THOUGHT TO THE FINEST AND SMALLEST DETAIL. YOU MUST HAVE MADE
QUITE A RESEARCH ON THE SEQUENCE OF THINGS AND THE LYRICS ALSO SHOW HOW
OBSERVANT YOU ARE! I’D NEVER THINK ABOUT THIS STRING OF EVENTS IF IT WEREN’T
FOR YOU!!!
Gatto: Well, we actually followed the experimental
method which consisted in trying different sequences of actions time after
time... you know, we had to let the dragon listen to “King” and we also
put our sword inside a king's ass searching for some iron but that didn't
work properly, so...
Potowotominimak: Our research has been very
very simple, my friend: we went to a Cryptozoologist, who sent us to a
Blacksmith, who sent us to a Geologist, who sent us to a Miner, who sent
us to a Topographer, who sent us to an Ambassador, who sent us to ourselves,
because King is a song of ours!!! The answer, epitomizing, is: if you’re
searching for something, first look inside of you, so you’ll prevent to
drive thousands of miles only to kill a fucking dragon!!!
7.BY THE WAY, REMAINING ON THE SAME SONG I COULD
SAY THE SONG IS A CONCEPT CLOSELY CONNECTED TO THE SONG “KING”. HOW CLEVER
AND SUBTLE OF YOU! DOES THIS MEAN THE WHOLE ALBUM IS A CONCEPT?
Gatto: No.
Potowotominimak: The whole life is a concept,
don’t you see it? My young interviewer, there’s so much to learn in this
world…
8.WHAT DO NANOWAR OFFER TO HEAVY METAL MUSIC AND
HOW EASY IS IT TO DIFFERENTIATE FROM OTHER BANDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN SO MANY
OUT THERE COPY BOTH YOUR IMAGE AND YOUR SOUND?
Gatto: Well, you know, we've been hanging
around 'til 1982 so I think people know very well what you're talking about
when you say NanowaR.
9.HOW DO YOU FEEL HAVING BANDS LIKE MANOWAR, RHAPSODY
OF FIRE AND IRON MAIDEN WALKING IN YOUR SHOES AND IMITATING YOU? WHAT ARE
YOU DOING ABOUT IT?
Gatto: Dammit, we're going to sue them! I
swear it, I can't stand their imitations and jokes.
Potowotominimak: We challenged the Irons to
a soccer match, but they ran away with their tails between the legs…
10.WELL AS WE ALL KNOW BOTH MANOWAR AND RHAPSODY
OF STEEL BELONG TO THE MAGIC CIRCLE GROUP. WON’T YOU ANSWER BACK WITH A
TRUE STEEL CIRCLE GROUP?
Gatto: Actually we OWN Magic Circle Group
since we bought the 51% of their shares.
11.YOU USE NON-METAL INSTRUMENTS AS WELL (NOW
HOW TRUE METAL IS THIS?) AND THE ANUS IS ONE OF THEM. IS THIS WHY YOU PREFER
WEARING SKIRTS WHEN ON STAGE? FOR BETTER ACOUSTICS AND CLEARER SOUNDS?
Gatto: No, actually, I am the one wearing
skirt but I cannot play my anus since it was kidnapped for 8 years in Austria
with Natascha Kampush. I wear a skirt so that curious girls in the first
rows can see how big my “bird” is, for aftershow pleasures of course!
12.WHAT WOULD YOU SAY TO SOMEONE THAT HAS NEVER
LISTENED TO YOU, IN ORDER TO ATTRACT HIS INTEREST? WHAT’S THE BEST AND
WHAT’S THE WORST PART OF YOUR MUSIC?
13.YOU HAVE QUITE A STAGE SHOW AND YOU CHANGE
MANY COSTUMES! ISN’T THIS A BIG AND EXPENSIVE PRODUCTION? DO YOU KILL THE
ANIMALS YOURSELVES AND THEN MAKE FUR UNDERWEAR OUT OF THEM?
Gatto: No, we have a farm where we breed animals
like bears, pigs, gargoyles and then we take their skins. Yeah, I know,
it's not that easy to get a gargoyle's skin, especially when they are made
of stone like the ones in Notre Dame, Paris.
Potowotominimak: We don’t spent money to create
our costumes, we steal them from Obituary…I know what you’re thinking about,
but we’re not depraved: I’m talking about the band!
14.YOU’RE COMING TO GREECE FOR A LIVE SHOW IN
MAY. CAN YOU REVEAL US A FEW THINGS OF WHAT THE METAL HEADS WILL ENJOY
THAT DAY?
Gatto: Yes.
Potowotominimak: We’ll bring joy, happiness
and love!!! WOOOOOHOOOOO!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! VVVVRRRRRRR!!!
TOMAGO TOMAGO!!! AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!!! SWEET HOME TWEET HOLMES
MEET BONES!!!
15.YOU’VE ALSO RELEASED A CALENDAR... WHAT DO
YOU AIM WITH THIS MOVEMENT? AND YOU BEING SUCH AN INFLUENTIAL BAND, AREN’T
YOU THINKING OF ADDING SOME MORE MERCHANDISE FOR YOUR CRAVING FANS?
Gatto: Of course, we'll have NanowaR Of Steel
condoms made of steel, which will let you break asses and vaginas in the
TRUE meaning of the word. Then we'll have Nanowar's corckscrews and colanders
and some useful tools in finding the old pirates treasures.
Potowotominimak: We’ll give our female fans
five tickets at every show, to have a sexual experience with the band,
I think this will increase our spectator’s confluence, other than our penis
dimension!
16.WHAT’S THE STRANGEST OR FUNNIEST QUESTION YOU’VE
BEEN ASKED AND WHAT DID YOU ANSWER?
Gatto: Ahahhahahaa, it's this one, for sure!
Ahahaha I can't really stop laughing!
Potowotominimak: Eh eh ehe eh heh eh…you won’t
believe it—eh ehe heh- because it’s--- eh ehhe he--! No, I’m serious, you
won’t believe it.
17.WHAT KIND OF EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS DO YOU THINK
YOUR MUSIC CREATES TO YOUR LISTENERS?
18.THANK YOU! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE
TO MENTION AND I FORGOT TO ASK YOU? LEAVE A MESSAGE TO YOUR FANS…
Potowotominimak: Yes: KEEP THE FEINT!!!
Gatto: Well, I'd like to thank you for all
the shoes. And I would like to invite all you truemetal guys in Greece
to our show in Athens, first of all because the ticket is cheap (7 euro)
and there's a free CD at the entrance for the first 50 who get in, and
then because our singer Potowotominimak has his own ass for sale that night.
And don't forget to download our mp3 on www.nanowar.it
or on eMule:
ed2k://|file|Nanowar%20-%20Other%20Bands%20Play%20-%20Nanowar%20Gay%20(2005).rar|72958887|FC83930BE973DF52F8706E6203CA3DD8|/
ed2k://|file|NanowaR_Made_In_Naples_2CD_2007.LTD.Ed._160_kbps.zip|100167969|3F38BED3C620C4FE0D0DFDB4AD922001|/
ed2k://|file|nanowar-triumph_of_true_metal_of_steel_by_arschbombe21.rar|50484193|512F61DF02C1DFA8259EBB74BCD56E12|/
See you in Athens on May the 31st or later
Valhalla !
Nick "William_Kidd"
Parastatidis
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