Important Message for American’s Abroad in the UK!!! (as of 29/jan)

Residing on foreign soil whilst your motherland is in crisis can be a traumatic and dislocative experience.  Our brothers are at war defending our God given right to freedom, on a plight to ensure the pursuit of happiness sans terrorism.  Our mothers are across the sea, what seems like a world away, summoning up the courage, patience, and love needed to stabilize the domestic sector of our shaking national being.  And you and I are at pubs drinking Coke and Malibus, or in Dr. Who red phone booths calling a mini-cab, or staring up at the majestic and determined Big Ben, its steady ticking a strange comfort in this sea of political turbulence.  The discrepancy of our actions and theirs is all too obvious.  I am ashamed of myself, and you should be too.  You and I and millions of other American school children recited the Pledge of Allegiance everyday with pride and dignity every day of every school year.  Remember that spirit and duty now.  Cough it up, spit it out.  And for God’s sake, mind this list of your obligations as an American citizen abroad:

Remember to:

--oppose evil doers @ all costs!
--blackmail enemies in the uncivilized world
--adopt a new creed asap! Newsflash: Narcissism is no longer the fad
--roll more spliffs, pull more blokes, eat fewer bisquits, but do so as an AMERICAN
--be nicer to Ted Kennedy! He’s done so much
--stand up and clap when at all appropriate i.e. right this very moment, god bless
-- thank Laura Bush for all her support, her long arms embrace the world in a warm embrace
--put evil doers O.O.B (out of business!)
--cut the red wire of the ticking time bombs that plague the free world: pliers available via [email protected]
--drill for oil in the Alaskan wilderness, put Sad-man Hussein O.O.B for good!
--this war has just begun!
--we have come so far, but really the war is just beginning
--fight freedom’s fight (war), it’s worth the fight