10 ways to have sex in a closet

10) With YOU, YOUR RIGHT HAND, and a copy of TeenWhore while wearing your grandma's panties.

09) Somewhere between your mom’s mink coat and your dad’s 1972 parka.

08) With your pocket Kama Sutra within reaching distance.

07) With a hanger in your back.

06) Probably up the @$$.

05) With several forms of protection – no one wants a little “you” running around.

04) Upside down against the wall with your booty on the door while eating a popscicle.

03) You could always just drop to your knees.

02) With a carrot.

01) With a banana while wearing Mr. Rogers' cardigan.

The Sexorcist 2003