Jessica Simpson: "New sex toy, new life"
Article by: The Sexorcist, SVT

        Candy pop singer Jessica Simpson finds herself in an incredible moment of her life. After several sex partners disappointed her, she decided it was time to do something for herself, and of course, her chocha.
        She signed up for some Sex classes. It was a hard year for her. She had to practice with multiple sex partners her new moves and ideas for the carnal lessons. 

        However, she still felt empty after that, so she hired "Guru Deeldo" to learn new stuff from him. He was an important person in this new life that Simpson was trying to get.
During nine hard hot steamy months, the "Irresistible" singer learned all the lessons she ever needed to win back her title of "Teen Whore". We got an exclusive interview with her:

TW: Hello, is this Miss Simpson?
JS: Who's Miss Simpson?
TW: Ehm... you are, remember... Jessica... Simpson?
JS: Oh yeah, that's me.
TW: Riiight, ehm, I would like to ask you some questions if it's ok with you.
JS: Sure, hit me.
TW: Ok, how old were you when you started your sex life?
JS: I don't remember well, I think it was like about... 12 years old.
TW: Did you enjoy your first time?
JS: Not much, because, you know, cousins are always afraid of getting caught, like totally.
TW: Wow, I didn't know that.
JS: You didn't know what?
TW: About you having sex with your cousin.
JS: Oh my God. Who told you that? Are you like some kind of psycho?
TW: It's Psychic
JS: I, like totally, don't care... Anyway, I love what I learned with "Guru Deeldo".
TW: Oh God, erhm... about that, is it true that you've been "practicing" sex lessons with several sex toys?
JS: Oh yeah, and it's like my new obsession, I adore them, they vibrate, they're colourful, they make sounds, they rule!
TW: Sure, now, have you ever tried those instruments before?
JS: Well, not like all these electric stuff, you know, I used to practice with ropes, chicken bones, tape, and very cheap material, now I feel like totally new.
TW: How's that?
JS: Well baby, new sex toy, new life. I feel liberated.
TW: Ok, that's enough! Thanks for your time
JS: Oh no, thanks for your time.
TW: Yeah, make sure you see the article in "Teen Whore" magazine.
JS: What?!, This is like Oh-My-God! What is my mom gonna say!!! Oh my poor grandma! and my dad's gonna take my car keys!
TW: Well dear, that's not my problem, bye.
JS: No, wait a f.......
[End of Talk]

So there you have it boys and girls, Jessica Simpson feels like a new woman after trying new stuff with new sex toys, she's just afraid of making it public, but, she doesn't have to be afraid anymore.

The Sexorcist 2003