Christina Aguilera: "I enjoy dirrty sexxx!"
Article by: SVT

        One day, I was sitting in a restaurant with a colleague from TeenWhore, when I overheard this man wearing a purple fur coat, alligator pants, a playboy pendant necklace, and a gold tooth, mention that Christina Aguilera was once one of his clients. I was suddenly compelled to ask the man what kind of business he was in. He told me he was a pimp, and that Christina use to be one of his “hoes.” I found this very interesting because Christina still sells her body, and is still a whore. I mentioned this to him, and he laughed. 

        The next thing I knew, I was having a fascinating conversation with a pimp, and he agreed that I could interview him for TeenWhore under the condition that I did not reveal his true identity. We’ll refer to him as “PeeWee.”
“That bitch was one of my worst clients. She had a mouth on her like you wouldn’t believe. Trying to get all sassy with me and shit, sayin’ dat my 90% cut was too high. Man, dat bitch just went over the line. I didn’t hit her though ‘cause da ho bites hard, man. But, I know she liked it kinky. I made her take all the nasties dat come my way, you know what I’m sayin’? Yeah, I remember this one dude wanted a bitch that would spank him with a carrot…I’m not about to get messed up in dat shit. I let Christina take that one; she liked that shit.”
I was rather awe stricken by the carrot comment, and PeeWee could tell. He offered me Christina’s cell phone number with no coaxing. 
“If you don’t believe me, call da bitch yo’self.”
Which is just what I did. I pulled out my little silver Nokia and dialed the number. I was surprised to hear Christina answer the phone herself. 

Our conversation went as follows:

TW: Ms. Aguilera?
CA: Yes?
TW: This is TeenWhore magazine. I have a few questions to ask you.
CA: How’d you get this number?
TW: That’s not important.
CA: Tell me.
TW: No
CA: I’m not saying a word until I find out.
TW: A mutual acquaintance. 
CA: Oh, ok.
TW: Is it true that you’re a whore?
CA: Yes
TW: Is it true that you used to be a prostitute?
CA: Yes, it was my favorite job ever!
TW: So you enjoyed it?
CA: Oh yes, I enjoy dirrty sexxx
TW: Did you ever spank anyone with a carrot?
CA: Oh, several times, and with several different people
TW: Thank you very much, have a nice day…
CA: Oh, thank you
TW: Be prepared to be the next cover model of TeenWhore magazine!
CA: What? I’ll sue! I swear! I thought this was a joke.
TW: No joke; I have the interview recorded
CA: (obscenities edited)
TW: Have a good one.

"PeeWee" who was still sitting across from me, was laughing hysterically. His buddy, who also appeared to be a pimp, was amused too. My TeenWhore colleague and I were sure we had a winning piece for the premier issue of TeenWhore magazine. 

The Sexorcist 2003