To One Day Lose It
Paramendra Bhagat

He called his mother one day when he did not really mean to. Perhaps he had been spending too much time by himself and needed to get his mind off it. She sounded sad, and he got impatient. He ended up having an argument she probably thought was over. By the time he hung up, he felt something break inside of him. When he called a day later, his father informed him she had left town to go see one of her sisters, and so she could not come to the phone. He talked to his father instead. He talked about the walks he took in the mornings. He sounded excited. He was happy for him, and he remembered he could not possibly have been part of the conversation the day before. He sounded too happy.

The descent into solitary moments with books, music, and one's girlfriend can be steep. He did not recognize his moods from a week back. He had been to the fair. He had met some people he had not seen in the longest time.

"What have you been upto lately?" a friend had asked.

He talked about the books he had been reading. He did not feel like telling him about his job search. It is not like we remain in regular touch, he thought. And the friend probably did not even intend to know such details; makes for awkward conversation sometimes.