THE LAST AND FIRST
Love beaconing bright in your eyes
Pebbles of darkness in mine - dull, unreflecting.
Your radiance gives all to me
I know I�m selfish, always retaining
This non-returnable love,
Testing endless limits of your being.
Something is wrong, don�t mind what I say
Shake my words of worthless sand
Through a wired sieve.
You need to be fooled by a man
So you give while I take for the sake of
Receiving a love that continues to bleed.
It�s true! I�ve ceased believing
Ask God how long we�ll go on deceiving?
We�ve murdered love long ago
But never attended the funeral
So we pretend not to have known.
We�re like two tired but restless travellers
Waiting in the railway station of some capital
Wondering where to go next as we postpone and delay
Having travelled every route through love�s terrain
Viewing all, it seems we�re limp and tame,
All our freshness for life gone
With thoughts of leaving each other to begin
A new journey on our own.
Are we afraid to go?
Still we continue the smiling public charade
Dining with friends, secure in the lie of
'Whatever happens we�ll be together.�
At home you play one of Handel�s records
("Not the Messiah," I weakly joke.)
Taking off sandals, ceremoniously unclothing
The broken shells of sacredness
For the last and final time,
Performing the ritual
Propagating love on the soft sheepskin rug.
I�m surprised it�s somehow different
With the ease of an unforced beauty.
(Thank God! No longer mechanical
Like lately it�s become.)
We�re strangers meeting again for the first time
In the awe and reference we once had.
The warm loving shudder, tingling the unexplored
As bodies open, embracing togetherness
Through stormy orchestral moments.
We�re trapped joyfully in sighs!
Our souls glowing:
�Let every time be our last and first always.�
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