War on Idiots
Considering this is a very
sensitive issue for most Americans, because of our current situation with Iraq, I’ll try to put on the most sensitive persona that I
have. If you think you can make a difference
with your opinions on the war, I hope you’re the first fucking casualty. Do you think just because you wave a picket
sign that has an anti-war symbol on it that all of a sudden the White House
will say to themselves “Hey those fucking hippies are right, this war is a
stupid idea, maybe we should reconsider and hug a tree instead.” This fucking war just gives loud mouths and
attention hungry fat women another reason to annoy everyone and voice their
opinions. Mind you these are the same
people who stand up on Jenny Jones and give advice to people involved in
homosexual incest love triangles. You
will never make a difference; your opinion and vote does not count. Now, I know what you’re saying to yourself,
if everyone had my attitude nobody would vote and our government wouldn’t work,
right? Well, fuck you flower child, yet
again your opinion doesn’t count. The
people that tell you your vote actually counts are the same people who’ll try
to lick their own asshole if you tell them you’ll give them a dollar if they
can do it.
So now as of this moment, because
everyone else wants to exercise their right to free assembly, so will I. I declare a War on Idiots. I will never again let another picket rally
go on without me marching on the side of them reminding them they’re
stupid. Never again will I let another
debate go on at work, school, or in public about the war without me letting
everyone who’s debating know that the only worthy cause they should support is
killing themselves. Well, since I’m the
biggest supporter of banning free assembly, fuck if I’m going to resort to it, just
start killing these fucking people by any means necessary. We don’t want these people breeding and
making more idiots. And if they have
kids, kill them too, it’s too late for them.
I want Vietnam to look like a fucking episode of Full House. Take no fucking prisoners, loud mouths are to
be executed with no exceptions. Make
these people see there’s a bigger issue at hand, the fact that they’re stupid
and are going to pay. Iraq will be the last thing on their minds when they see the bloodshed
right here at home. So join me in my declaration
of a War on Idiots, and do it for your fucking country.
List of Honors to be Given to My Bravest Soldiers
- Golden Picket
Medal - If a
soldier manages to kill a loud mouth with their own picket sign.
- Blue Treble Death
Ribbon - For
soldiers who kill musicians who made songs voicing their opinions.
- Triple Set Purple
Heart -
Awarded to my most skilled soldiers that kill loud mouths who have attended
the Jenny Jones show (extra stripes if the audience members were fat ugly
women, which they all are).
*For official “War on Idiots”
weaponry, contact Paradox Equation