Why Not Money Shot?
This column will go out
to all you guys who have been pondering the age old question, “How do I get rid
of my girlfriend?” Do you not have the
courage to tell her straight up? Do you
think over the phone or online is too cowardly?
I’m telling you, if those thoughts are going through your head, you’re
fucking gay. First off, bitches are
stupid, so treat them accordingly. And
after you’ve taken my advice to get rid of your current girlfriend, don’t get a
new one. Push that bitch out into
traffic before you commit to a relationship.
Now that we’re on the same page, let’s put this plan into action and
make this money shot happen.
First off,
don’t let her know your having thoughts about ending the relationship. Hold on, it’s not really a relationship; it’s
more of an incarceration. All right, so
don’t let her know you thinking about ending the incarceration because she
will be less likely to be up for a sexual encounter. Have her come over and make sure she’s in the
mood for sex. But don’t take her out to
dinner or buy her a gift or any pussy shit like that to get her buttered up,
just play it cool. Save your money for
something important like video games or bullets.
So get her in the bedroom and have her start giving
you head. You will need to be standing
up with her on her knees, or my personal favorite, have her lay on the bed and
straddle across her with your knees on each side of her head. The second method is much better because you
can pin her arms down with your legs and she can’t block the money shot with
her hands at the last second when she realizes what’s up. Also, it’ll be good to have her head on a
pillow at a 45-degree angle, that way you will hit the target and get a
dripping effect. Have that bitch suck
that shit, and at the last possible second, pull out, and shoot. She’ll be left with a semen-faced good time
had by all, well actually just you. In
turn, the bitch will be so mad at you that she’ll never want to talk to you
again. Project Money Shot, is a
success. And after this is done
correctly, it will be a 9.2 in the degrading category. If you’re worried about her telling all of
her friends about it, don’t, because they’re stupid too. Stupid bitches have stupid friends; it’s a
proven fact. And in the event that you
have mutual friends, you’re a fucking pussy.
So if you follow this guide, your troubles will be over. Enclosed are some helpful hints to aid you
with your expedition. Good luck, and
happy shooting.
1.
If you’re
using the standing method, it’s a good idea to put your hand in back of her
head before you blow. She might try to
move away, and a moving target will be harder to hit.
2. If she wears glasses, encourage her to keep
them on. Semen streaks are hard to
clean, and it bumps the level up to a 9.5 out of a possible 10.
3. If for some reason she happens to block it, or
turn her head. Adjust aim in mid-shot
and shoot it in her hair. Bitches hate
that shit.
4. You know if you’re a shooter or dribbler, so
adjust your distance as needed.
5. Picture her face as a target, and put the
bull’s eye on something that’ll really piss her off. Aim for her eye or up her nose. Practice makes perfect.
6. If the cunt is enough of a slut and actually
likes it, let her keep coming back for more.
Try to hook up your friends. And
since she didn’t mind the money shot, you’ll probably be able to fuck her in
the ass.