AUTHOR'S NOTES: All Final Fantasy VII characters, vehicles and themes © Squaresoft, and no infringement is intended.
Repressed Memories
Chapter 10: Forgotten Faces and Fading Loves
Written by Cloud

Part III

     The voice didn't come back.
     I waited patiently for the one whom had called me his puppet, but he never returned to the prison of my mind or the shell that remained of my body. I could feel my rib cage prodding against my pale skin- I hadn't eaten in so long that I wondered if Hojo had simply left his 'Failed Experiment' here to die. I guess it wouldn't make much difference, inside- in my soul- I was dead anyway. I didn't even care, lying there in my Hell, that I was wasting away to nothingness. At least I didn't have to deal with reality, didn't have to live in the real world. I was safer inside a cell than I was in my everyday life. There was nobody here to hate me.
     Nobody but yourself.
     "Back again? Who are you?"
     I'm you.
     "What?!"
     They'll be coming for you soon.
     "Why? Who's coming for me?"
     Your friend is, Cloud.
     "Friend…what friend? Nobody cares about me…"
     If that is what you wish to believe then do so. But know that you are truly pathetic if you cannot even love yourself when others refuse to try.
     "I…"
     The visage of a beautiful girl appeared within the husk that remained of my mind. I knew that I somehow knew her too, she was the only person I'd ever known who could…who could love me. Who are you? The question was tearing me up inside. I couldn't remember…
     Those violet eyes met my own and locked. 'I love you, Cloud' she mouthed with those perfect lips, the moment freezing in time forever…and then she died. How could she do this to me? How could she leave me here alone to live as half a person, how could anyone who truly loved me do such a thing? You bitch, you stupid bitch! You had to be the hero and you could have lived! You were nothing but a martyr without a cause, Astfirie!
     At least you remembered her name.
     "Fuck you!" I shouted, "I've lost everything I ever cared about and I'm left with nothing but pain!"      Cry me a river, and now you're going to die like a caged animal because you're too afraid to stand up and live in spite of it.
     "I'm no coward!" I shouted, my voice hoarse and failing, "I AM NOT AFRAID!" I tugged against the restraints in rage, my anger burning a white-hot fire within the ravages of my mind. The shackles tore through my flesh but I didn't care, I ripped them clean off of my wrists and bled the ground red in spite of it. Next came the shackles on my feet. I was nailed into the wall and cuffed at the heels. No big, I'd just have to kick my way out. The adrenaline coursed through me, fueling my rage as I kicked at the restraints. Though they refused to unlatch themselves from my feet, I did manage to rip them clean out of the wall with a shriek of rusty metal. My fists clenched and unclenched in rage as I thought of what I would do to Hojo when I got out of here…
     I lunged forward at the bars of my cell, kicking with all my might and the added weight of the chains. The confining wall shrieked in protest, but after five or six good kicks it clattered to the ground. And now I would take my revenge on the man who had done this to me, dehumanized me and destroyed my memory. Hojo was going to die for this, if I wasn't a murderer, I would be soon. I trudged over to the door of my room in a clank of metal that would have waked the dead had Hojo not made sure the rooms were soundproof. Wouldn't want the rest of the Shinra to here the screams of his 'experiments', would we. Before I even got to the door it opened of its own accord, and for the first time in what seemed like years I saw light. The sudden flash or brightness overwhelmed my senses and I fell to the floor as my eyes widened more quickly than I could stand to see. It looked like Heaven, beautiful and frightening and leaving wonder in its wake. I stared at the light as if I had never seen lum     inance before in my life. All to quickly it was blocked by a shadow, a creature that darkened the room once again with his infernal form. He had green eyes and spikey-black hair, and sported an enormous sword on his back that gleamed magnificently in the brightness that it restrained.
     "Who…are you?" I asked the youth, who was dressed in a SOLDIER uniform.
     "Cloud, it's me Zack." He said, his eyes glowing strangely. "Don't you know me?"
     "The voice…the voice told me that my friend was coming. Is that you?" I inquired, somewhere in-between a dream and reality.
     "Yeah Cloud, I'm you're friend…" Zack trailed off, there was pain in his voice. It hurt him that I couldn't remember. So I was hurting somebody again, somebody who cared about me. I hate you, Cloud Strife- you bring nothing but pain to yourself and everyone around you. He must have seen; he forced a smile. "It's okay, Cloud. I'm sure you'll remember more after I get you out of this place." He stepped out of the doorway and gestured strangely, drawing his huge sword and stabbing it into the metal floor. "Cure!" he shouted as green enveloped me in a holy flash that enveloped me in its wake. It felt warm and good and safe, and after a few seconds my wounds had healed themselves. I got to my feet far more quickly than I should have for being locked in this dungeon for so long. That was a neat trick, and one I'd have to learn.
     "Take me away from this place, Zack." I commanded and begged at the same time. He only nodded, handing me a white sheet of paper to read. My eyes strained to follow the text, but it was too much and I felt as if I would pass out again. Zack seemed to pick up my thoughts as he took possession of the legal document and read it aloud:
     "Cloud Strife, prisoner #2323. This is an official statement from SOLDIER administration under Chief Bowers. If you are to accept parole from this penitentiary you will be outfitted with weapons and a uniform and will join the Shinra Army as the personal escort of SOLDIER First Class Zack Garek…"
     "I think I've heard enough," I interrupted, "I accept." The SOLDIER grinned, pocketing the paper in a flourish of white that nearly blinded me.
     "I thought you would." He stated, and then a look or ire came over him, "You might want to take that needle out of your arm, Cloud." I examined my right arm and to my surprise, found an IV thrust deep into my flesh, fed through a tube in the wall. They WERE feeding me…
     "How long have I been in here?" I asked in shock.
     "A little over a year, you're sixteen years old now." My friend replied. I was horrified and I'm sure I wasn't hiding it well because Zack looked as if he had just seen a ghost. "Cloud, you know I would have gotten you out sooner if I could…" I put a hand on my friend's armored shoulder.      "It's okay, the point is you did come for me." A memory burned its way into my mind. It had to be the voice of someone beautiful…Tifa? 'Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will rescue me. I at least want to experience that once…'
     "Where are we going, Zack?" I asked the friend that time had forgotten.
     "You're going home, Cloud. We're going with Sephiroth to Nibelhiem." He replied as if the news would make me happy. I was exiting one Hell only to enter another. But at least I wouldn't have to face the world alone. I gave Zack a sad smile; it was the best I could muster.
     "I know Sephiroth, don't I?" I inquired.
     "Yeah, you do." He said, nodding in agreement. "Maybe seeing everyone again will help you remember…"
     It was worth a shot- that was for sure.
     "Zack, am I really a murderer?" I asked, my voice choking in my throat.
     "No!" he shouted almost angrily, "No Cloud you're not! I saw you fall into the maw of Hell and become enraged enough to kill a man you hated with every fiber of your being. But you didn't kill him; you refused because you wouldn't stoop to his level! Don't you dare believe them Cloud, you didn't kill anybody!" Tears welled from his Mako green eyes as if an unrealized pain was rushing forth from his very soul. I stepped forward and without even thinking hugged the boy- no the man- that had come to rescue me from Hojo and from myself. After a few moments we stopped crying, there were no tears left to shed.
     "Come on, Zack," I uttered, "Let's get out of this hell hole."