Posted March 25th, 2005:

Here is a poem I wrote while on Spring break:

Posted March 9th, 2005:

Who you really are does not comprise of the words you write, the thoughts in your head, the many roles you take in life, the jobs that you have, the people that you know, the way that you act, the way that you look physically, the way that others see you. It also is not the amount of wealth you have acquired, it is not your perspective in life, where you live, your level of education, your beliefs or your religion, your ethnic/racial background. It is not your degree of conformity to society or peers, the music you listen to, your current state of mind, the friends you have, what labels you may have that were assigned to you by others. Who you are also is not represented by what you think is right or wrong, it is not your past or your potential future.

All of these things have a place in your life, but they all also are subject to change, and they are also components of a person where if they were non-existent in your life instead of a part of it, your real self would not become non-existent with them.
Look past all of these things in your life; who are you with the absence of your thoughts and tool of language, who are you when your wealth is taken away, who are you if you became completely aware of the fact that your beliefs are not absolute, and that no belief is better than the other. Most people can acknowledge that their beliefs are just beliefs, but fewer have been able to actually encompass all other beliefs by fully comprehending that their beliefs are a simple grain of sand, different in form but identical in substance to all others.

Once something enters a person's mind, it may be interpreted in any imaginable way. Likewise, ever single passing moment in a person's life is seen through their own eyes; with their mind busy at interpreting every moment. When you have learned not to interpret every moment and that it can be done, the moment is then seen for what it is, instead of being seen from personal interpretations alone.

Por favor, if you want to read more, VISIT MY REAL WEBLOG: LIZ WEBLOG HERE. THIS IS THE SOURCE OF THESE POSTS! Thank you.
all-for-now.

Posted May 23rd, 2004:

So I just read one of Carlos Castanedas' books: The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge. I finished the whole thing in one day. What prompted me to read the book was that I was talking to my mom about something related to the issue a couple days ago, and remembered I had glanced at the books (my mom has three or four of his books) almost a year ago on her shelf and they immediately caught my attention because one of them was titled "An Alternate Reality," and had this picture of a guy looking mystified on the cover; and I pointed it out immediately to her and was like, "this is exactly what I'm talking about!." Earlier I was trying to tell her that during a mystical experience I had, I had literally experienced a different reality, one so amazingly drastic that what it felt like was most of the criteria by which I had been living that discerned my reality as normal reality, was then broken and shattered. Right after the experience I had a huge urge to cry; and I did. For days. Then my mom came home from a trip to New Mexico that weekend (thank god she had been gone that weekend because I really needed that time to be left alone) and I finally tried to tell her about it and I couldn't do it without crying. There is absolutely no way to explain it in words. So, obviously when I saw the book titled "An Alternate Reality," it caught my attention.

Anyway, I highlighted some things throughout the book that I thought were interesting and useful, and I wrote a paragraph of my thoughts I was having at the time of reading this certain passage. I guess I should give some background info. on the book first although I know a great deal of people have read it. First of all I want to say that the different systems of knowledge between culture to culture are very interesting to me. I believe that no matter what system of knowledge I encounter, I think if I approach it with an open mind there is always something I can learn. Carlos Castenada in this case, began taking certain drugs in order to become a "man of knowledge," under the guide of don Juan. He accounts his own experiences in detail. Those are all the details I will give for right now because I'm lazy and because I want to get to the actual things I highlighted in the book from Carlos's experiences that may have some value in taking into account.

The passage I wrote a paragraph on had to do with when Carlos Castaneda did his second trip on Datura (Devil's Weed). According to don Juan, this second portion of Datura that he helped Carlos prepare was normally used for flying. This flying is supposed to be the "way of wisdom," because when you fly you gain wisdom and it gives you direction. You are then able to see things with great clarity. This reminds me very much of Buddhism, and other Eastern philosophies. This aspect of knowledge is always there and seemed to be of the most important. And also through my experience mentioned above, I was automatically always concentrated in my mind and seeing things in ways that I had not thought of them before. I was searching for my freedom of mind, and my intuition was guiding me. And the freedom of mind came from my increasing ability to see things for what they really were, and not be lost in them. I was looking at things at the time from a more objective standpoint (like "flying") which in turn gave me greater clarity of mind and also insight ("direction") into how I would conduct my life in the future. I remember my intuition and my contemplation showing me the world of humans for what it was: our language, our thoughts, our whole world: I was seeing it in a very different light then, even than I do now. I had to see it that way at the time in order to be able to liberate myself; but now the two worlds are no longer two. They merged, and at the time of their merging is when and why I had the experience.

There's a saying in Zen Buddhism which states, "The universe appears as a juggling picture show. To be happy, look upon it so."

Posted April 30th, 2004:

I realized something driving home from school today. A couple days ago I believe I posted an excerpt from the Tao Te Ching that said something like, "the core and the surface are essentially the same, words making them seem different only to express appearance. If name be needed, wonder names them both: From wonder into wonder, existence opens."

Well, I finally discovered (or recollected) a deeper meaning into this excerpt. Not too long ago I was in a stage of my life where I was in the process of realizing the limits of the tool of reason. And perhaps not only of reason but to some degree and in some sense learning to distinguish what was in my mind as an appearance, and what was otherwise. Next, I was reminiscing upon the state of mind and what it was that inspired me to try to look past these sorts of appearances. It's not as though I deliberately said to myself, "Liz, it's time to go out into nature and get inspiration from another realm," although eventually it did get to that point - but not until I actually knew to some extent what was going on. In the first, there was something that inspired me, that led me, that I had an intuitive feeling about and would act upon that intuitive feeling even if I couldn't tell myself what or why I was doing what I was doing. Anyhow, the point is, I realized that this inspiration was wonder. My mind was ready to be attuned to the fact that there was something beyond the limits that were bounding it. This wonder led me deeper and deeper psychologically into the other realm. This is the point today where I recalled the excerpt from the Tao Te Ching. And then I realized how amazing that was, because that's exactly how it was in that point in my life - the realm of existence (or, the core; or whatever you'd like to call it) that I was drawn towards was not something apart from the realm of existence that I had been currently living in (and I apologize, the wording I'm using is funny but it's because I don't have a super-accurate way to describe it, but if you get the feeling of what I'm talking about, good for you). It's just that they had been made to seem that way because I had, in my perspective, travelled so far away from the other realm in my mind, using reason and/or appearances, that they had become two (again, in my mind). But in that way it was useful because finally I had been able to sense that something was missing, and use this feeling of wonder to merge with it once again; and that is when it once again became one in my mind. That concept can also lead to a whole world of possibilities. We use words as means of communicating; we depend on reason, we USE something's appearance in order to mold it into other things. We use reason to create things. Anyhow, back to the excerpt. This part, "from wonder into wonder, existence opens," now once I was thinking about it, once I had merged in my mind with this other realm of existence, the wonder disappeared. Existence, it one sense, had opened for me once again.

Posted April 30th, 2004:

I also was thinking another thing driving home from school today. And what had induced the following thoughts that I am about to explain was a combination of the dream I had last night and the issues that were being discussed in my sociology class. In class today we were discussing prisons and how they contribute to social problems. The biggest problem that I see not only in prisons but in many other things in society, is the stereotypes and ways people are made to feel once they had done certain things. For example, people in prison then are known as people who are "bad people," "non-productive members of society," there is sexual abuse in prisons, a feeling of classism between the guards and the prisoners. The prisoners are made to feel they have lesser value as people than the guards to because they are now in prison and "did bad things." Then they have the mandatory minimums of jail time; when a certain crime is done and there is a minimum amount of time required to stay in jail. Say you are required to stay in jail for ten years; you then will most likely eventually lose any process or hope of making yourself a better person, so jail doesn't become a reform anymore, moreso, it screws you over. A lot of times people are in jail for non-violent crimes, but then there is so much violence and hatred, and even subtle hatred in the jail upon the psychological damage it may do to have a label on you now as a prisoner and someone who does bad things, that they come out learning violence. There is a lot of sexual abuse even between guards and prisoners. There is great spread of disease like STDs within prisons.

Anyway, the problems with that go on forever. But what I was thinking about that I see as a recurring problem not only in prisons but in society as well, is people are too quick to judge others; and in my opinion, what society lacks is understanding. There is no understanding, there is only the need to control and profit. Society is practically overcome by greed. A good example that can be used as an analogy is this: If you are in a bad mood, and somebody tells you "dang, you are in a BAD MOOD," it usually only makes it worse. That's the problem, people are telling people who use drugs: "Look at you, you are a drug user, what is wrong with you? How could you be so stupid?" Or, people are looking at people in jail who got caught for posession of illegal drugs as a bad person who should be punished. NOW THINK, most people in prison, or most people who use drugs, any group of people out there who is easily stereotyped against - people of different racial ethnicities, that echo of people's stereotypes comes right back to them. They are a bad person who should be punished. They should be controlled. They are unproductive members of society. They are bad people, period. IS THIS GOING TO MAKE THEM BETTER YOU IDIOTS?! What is missing is the attitude of understanding. Of looking at someone who uses drugs and saying, "why are you doing this? how can I help you?" and empowering them. But it would never occur to society as a whole that you should empower the "bad person," right? And that's exactly another one of the problems - politicians have this attitude of being "tough on crime." Let's be tough on crime, let's spend more money on prison systems than education. In my opinion they are going in the wrong direction.

Well, the even more specific point that I was making, is that all of these things I believe takes a person farther and farther away from their soul. If you don't like the word soul, I'll say the deepest part of who you are, the part who wants to be happy and is full of love and has no limits. The person you were when you were born. I have some very strong personal experience that relates to this as well. The same period of time in my life I was talking about in my previous post; I had to follow my heart to be truly happy. I followed, intuitionally, the way back to what was deep inside of my heart and "soul," and there is a quote I read somewhere that says, "when the personality meets the soul, joy is found." And I have found that to be very true. I had finally found true happiness for myself. Anyhow, on a society that operates so much on greed, so much on control, ignorance, "punishing the bad person," it takes them farther and farther away from their soul. You plunge deeper and deeper into a darker side, where the person you truly are dies in one sense and eventually if it gets deep enough, you will have sold your soul to some other force. I think this happens a lot if you use drugs a lot. You start to let the drug possess you. And I think a lot of people who truly need drugs to survive, who can't survive in a normal realm, is because they have been for one reason or another taken too far away from their souls. They have been separated too far away from who they really are.

Which is funny because that also leads me to recall a quote from the Tao Te Ching I posted earlier, which states, "Unencumbered by any concept of sin, the Master doesn't see evil as a force to resist, but simply as an opaqueness, a state of self-absorption which is in disharmony with the universal process, so that, as with a dirty window, the light can't shine through."

This is how it is. Because you see if evil IS seen as a force to resist, that's what gives evil it's power. If someone does something that is considered bad by society, and they are then labeled as 'bad", this only fuels the fire. But in reality I feel the person comes so separated from the source of the light - so separated from who they were when they were born, the unlimited and unhurt source of light - that sooner or later they may give into a darker side, which is completely devoid of all light; a realm completely set aside from who they truly are. It is devoid of the deepest part of them, as though you were living in a well of desire and greed and your soul is completely shut off from you.

This also relates to the previous post in some way. The time in my life when I merged into another realm of existence - or a more common name, a spiritual journey trying to find my "home," trying to find the light again; which was always essentially there but not within my current perspective. I had, to a smaller degree, shut myself out from the light but had managed to rejoin with it and from that point on was a much more at peace and truly happy person, and with a lot less emotional problems. :P

What is missing in society (among other things) is this information. The minute you tell a person who has done something "bad" that they are a "bad person" and then get put in jail, you are fueling the fire.

Posted April 28th, 2004:

"Unencumbered by any concept of sin, the Master doesn't see evil as a force to resist, but simply as an opaqueness, a state of self-absorption which is in disharmony with the universal process, so that, as with a dirty window, the light can't shine through." - Excerpt from the Introduction of the Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell.

"Other people are excited,
as though they were at a parade.
I alone don't care,
I alone am expressionless,
like an infant before it can smile.

Other people have what they need;
I alone possess nothing.
I alone drfit about,
like someone without a home.
I am like an idiot, my mind is so empty.

Other people are bright;
I alone am dark.
Other people are sharp;
I alone am dull.
Other people have a purpose;
I alone don't know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell.

"Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell.

"Music or the smell of good cooking
may make people stop and enjoy.
But the words that point to the Tao
seem monotonous and without flavor.
When you look for it, there is nothing to see.
When you listen for it, there is nothing to hear.
When you use it, it is inexhaustible."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching by Stephen Mitchell.

"Ordinary men hate solitude.
But the Master makes use of it,
embracing his aloneness, realizing
he is one with the whole universe."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching Chapter 42 by Stephen Mitchell.

"Give evil nothing to oppose
and it will disappear by itself."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching Ch. 60 by Stephen Mitchell.

"Content with an ordinary life,
you can show all the people the way
back to their own true nature."
-Excerpt from Tao Te Ching Ch. 65 by Stephen Mitchell.

Posted April 24th, 2004:

Existence is beyond the power of words
To define:
Terms may be used
But are none of them absolute.
In the beginning of heaven and earth there
were no words,
Words came out of the womb of matter;
And whether a man dispassionately
Sees to the core of life
Or passionately
Sees the surface,
The core and the surface
Are essentially the same,
Words making them seem different
Only to express appearance.
If name be needed, wonder names them both:
From wonder into wonder
Existence opens.

-Lao-tzu

And I have felt . . . a sense sublime
Of something far more deeply interfused,
Whose dwelling is the light of setting suns,
And the round ocean and the living air,
And the blue sky, and in the mind of man;
A motion and a spirit, that impels
All thinking things, all objects of all
thought,
And rolls through all things.
-Wordsworth, "Tintern Abbey"

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought: it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the carriage.
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought; it is founded on our thoughts, it is made up of our thoughts. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him."

-The Dhammapada

A STORY

The Chandogya Upanishad tells as story about Svetaketu, a young man of ancient India who, on returning to his home after twelve years of studying the Vedas, appeared to his father to be as somewhat set up about his vast learning. The father therefore set out to teach him some homely but profound wisdom not necessarily learned from books.

"Bring me," he said to his son, "a fruit from a banyan tree."
"Here is one, sir."
"Break it."
"It is broken, sir."
"What do you see there?"
"Some seeds, sir, exceedingly small."
"Break one of these."
"It is broken, sir."
"What do you see there?"
"Nothing at all."
The father said, "My son, that subtle essence which you do not perceive there - in that very essence stands the being of the great banyan tree. In that which is the subtle essence all that exists has its self. That is the true, that is the Self, and you, Svetakeu, are that."
"Pray, sir," said the son. "Tell me more."
For the second lesson the father gave his son a bag of salt, saying, "Place this salt in a vessel of water and come to me tomorrow morning with the vessel."
When the son appeared the next day the father commanded, "Bring me the salt which you put in the water."
But the salt of ocurse had disappeared.
"Taste the water from the surface of the vessel and tell me how it is."
"Salty," said the son.
"And from the middle?"
"Salty."
"And from the bottom?"
"Salty also."
Then the father said, "Here likewise in this body of yours, my son, you do not perceive the true, but there in fact it is. In that which is the subtle essence, all that exists has its self. That is the true, that is the Self; and you, Svetaketu, are that."
-Changdogya Upanishad

"Honesty is the recognition of the fact that the unreal is unreal and can have no value, that neither love nor fame nor cash is a value if obtained by fraud -- that an attempt to gain a value by deceiving the mind of others is an act of raising your victims to a position higher than reality, where you become a pawn of their blindness, a slave of their non-thinking and their evasions, while their intelligence, their rationality, their perceptiveness becomes the enemies you have to dread and flee -- that you do not care to live as a dependent, lest of all a dependent on the stupidity of others, or as a fool whose source of values is the fools he succeeds in fooling -- that honesty is not a social duty, not a sacrifice for the sake of others, but the most profoundly selfish virtue man can practice: his refusal to sacrifice the reality of his own existence to the deluded consciousness of others."
-- Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand