Beautiful eyes. Perfect voice. Yup. That's you. You're everything anyone could want. But..... Is that you at the door? Sure it is. Who else could it be? Just the thought of sleeping so close to you makes my heart jump..... What is wrong with me?..... The others complain about sharing rooms, but I like it. Especially when it's with you. But I would never let you know..... Where are we now anyway? It's so hard to keep these cities straight. It's Berlin, I think. But who cares, it's all the same..... Why are you stumbling around the room? Maybe I shouldn't've left my crap all over. I hope you don't trip on anything. Ooops, are you okay? Sounds like you are. You wanna scream, I know you do. But you don't. You're trying so hard to be quiet, you don't want to wake me. Don't you know that I can sleep through anything? I guess it's kinda sweet that you're trying not to wake me. You don't know, but I'm not asleep. How could I sleep knowing you'd be near me? This is really the only time we have now..... I started staying in to spend time with you. But I guess I should have thought of that before you started going out all the time..... What time is it now? I'll bet it's late What am I doing still awake? And what are you doing just getting back? Wait a minute, why should I care? I made sure that where you go and who you're with are really no concern of mine. At least not beyond a purely platonic concern..... Did you just leave again? No, you're just in the bathroom. I love the simple sounds you make. I love to just lie here, listening to you, waiting here for what could come. Here is where I dream of things that can never see the light of day. Here is where my fears reside. And it hurts me so much to know that you, that my feelings, are what I fear..... What took you so long in the bathroom? Lost in your thoughts too? You're coming closer...don't smile, don't smile. You can't know that I'm awake. You can't know how much I look forward to this. How much I love this, how much I love...no. I can't think like that. No. Not good for me, not good for you. No. No..... Yes. I love the tingling your lips cause my cheek. Why is it that you only kiss me when your in one of your late night stupors? Maybe if you talked to me. Maybe if you knew I was awake things would be different. But you can't know..... I can still smell your unique scent, and still feel your lips. And I can still dismiss all the happiness that I could ever hope to have with you.

* * * * * * *

See ya. Ha. That's a nice and lame thing to say to Joey. Not I'm leaving or I'm gonna head back. Just see ya. Did he just yell something after me? I didn't catch it and I don't really care. What I care about is you. I was so happy when I could finally come out to clubs with everyone. Everyone and you. I was so glad when I no longer had to hole-up in my room and wonder what you were doing. And now, now when we go out, you stay back. It just isn't any fun without you. Joey and Chris get on my case constantly about not dancing and not picking up any hot German guys. But the guys in Germany, the guys anywhere, have nothing on you. Why would I want a stranger? /But why not? You can't have him, he doesn't want you./ So why can't I have fun with some hot German guy? /Because it's not him. You only want him./ Shut up! Aaahhh! I need some sleep..... Maybe I should try staying in one night and see what happens. Yeah, that'd be the night you decided to go out. Then I'd be stuck with Justin..... What's this place? Shit, I passed the hotel. Where is the stupid place? There it is. Why are we staying here? It's so dumpy. I can't wait 'till we're big, and we get better hotels. But that'd probably mean single rooms. Can't have that now can we. Sharing with you is all that I have. How pathetic am I? I treasure sharing a room..... This elevator is so slow. 3. 4. 5. 6. Ding, my floor. I hope you're not asleep. I'd really like to see those expressive eyes before I dream about them. Shh, quiet, stupid door. It's dark in here, too dark. You must be asleep. You're always sleeping when I get back..... Ouch! Fuck! You left your shit all over the place again. Why do you always do that? I'd like to yell at you about it, but when you turn those eyes and those lips on me, then say something cute, like always, I lose all my anger. What are these powers you unwittingly have over me?.... Wow, you sure are beautiful when you sleep. I'm so glad I left the bathroom light on just long enough to see you. To see your body framed in sheets. To see the face I dream about. What I wouldn't do to be able to kiss those supple lips. Oh well, I guess I'll have to settle again. I really shouldn't kiss you while you sleep, but I can't help it. What would you do if you found out?.... You smell so good and your cheek is so soft. Did you just tremble? Yeah, in my wildest dreams..... I am so hopeless. Oh, dear sweet Josh, we would be so happy together.

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