Title: Advice for the Lovelorn
Author: Autumn Biggins
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Summary: Hyde and Jackie each seek advice from the most popular
established
couple on the show. Yep that�s right, Kitty and Red.
Eric Foreman, Donna Pinciotti, Michael Kelso, and Fez�.whatever, were
sitting in the Foreman basement when a very excited Jackie literally
burst
threw the door. � Oh my God, Oh my god oh my God! The tiny brunette
exclaimed.� Eric, where�s your dad?�
�Hi yourself Jackie, he�s upstairs. Why?� asked Eric.
Instead of answering him, she just rushed upstairs.
�Ok anybody understand what that was all about?� asked Donna
Eric: No, but if she�s asking for my dad, I don�t think I even wanna
know
what it�s about.
About five and a half minutes later a very skittish looking Steven Hyde
stalked through the driveway. He turned to the group and addressed his
best
friend. �Where�s your mom?� he growled.
Eric: Out in the garden with Midge I think. Why?
Hyde: Mind your own business he said as he stormed out the door and
headed
towards the garden.
Eric: Ok if anybody else is looking for my parents please raise your
hands
now and don�t bother me. The other four remained in place and they
went
back to watching the TV without further interruption.
Foreman Den: Red is reading a newspaper in his chair when Jackie barges
in.
Jackie: Oh my God Mr. Foreman I need your help, are you busy?
Red gives her an incredulous glare, �What, do I have to put up a do not
disturb sign in my own home?!�
Jackie: Look this is important, I know I can trust you, I need help with
something, and you owe me a favor anyway.
Red: A favor, what the hell are you talking about? Since when have any
of you
kids done anything even remotely helpful around here?
Jackie: Well when everybody else had career day I came over and out of the
goodness of my heart I helped you fix that thingy in the car. I got my
shirt all dirty and stained, so you owe me a favor.
Red looks thoroughly mystified and Jackie takes his hesitation to mean
he
wants her to start speaking.
Jackie: Ok, so I really like Steven and we went out on a date and we kissed.
But
nothing happened, so we decided to be just friends and I think he likes
me
but I can�t tell, and now I�m all confused. So what I�m asking is how
do I
know if Steven likes me?
Red: First off why are you asking me about this, don�t you have a
girlfriend
or a mother to talk to about this stuff?
Jackie stares at him and says :Yeah, but none of them share the special
bond
that you and Steven do.
Red: and what would that be?
Jackie: You�re like a father figure to him and I figure you know him
like a
father knows his son.
Red is looking more and more lost but finally gives in to dole out some
advice to the weird girl in his presence.
Ok Jackie, now the last time I had to deal with this was when Eric was
being
a dumbass and mooning all over the neighbor girl. He�d act real weird
around her, like he�d talk a lot and blabber like a girl, no offence,
and
just act well like a dumbass. Now Steven is about as different from
Eric as
night and day, so I�d say look for anything slightly different than
normal.
Jackie: You mean like him not insulting me all the time, and ignoring
everybody else except me?
Red: Yeah that�s a good start. Are we done now cause I�d like to get
back
to this paper.
Jackie stands up and starts leaving the room, thanks Mr. Foreman!
Red grunts in response and goes back to his paper.
The Foreman Garden: Midge and Kitty are admiring plants when Hyde
walks up
behind them.
Hyde: Hello ladies.
Kitty: Oh Steven sweetie, Eric�s down in the basement if you�re looking for
him.
Hyde: Actually Mrs. F I was looking for you.
Midge to her credit decides to leave. Bye Kitty I�ll see you tomorrow
and
we can plant the rest of the flowers.
Kitty: Ok Midge, bye bye now. Smiles brightly, so Steven what�s on your
mind?
Oh I�ll bet it�s your little girlfriend.
Hyde: She�s not my girlfriend! But yeah, it�s about her. He and Kitty
walk
over to the two chairs against the garage.
Kitty: So what seems to be the problem?
Hyde shifts uncomfortably in his chair and begins his tale of woe. (He
gives the same schpeal that Jackie gave Red). �So now what do I do?�
I
mean, I thought she like me even though I pretended to hate her, and
now
that I like her, she doesn�t seem to like me.
Kitty: Well maybe she doesn�t like you at all! (Does the Kitty Laugh) She
looks
back over at a stricken looking Hyde and sobers immediately. �No, I
was
just kidding, honey. I�m sure Jackie likes you, but now you need to go
talk
to her about your kiss, and this time don�t lie to her.
Hyde: Yeah, but I�ll sound like a pansy-assed geek.
Kitty: Well if you really like her, then you�ll swallow your stupid manly
pride,
and tell her the truth!
Hyde gives a sigh of resignation, and gets up. �Thanks Mrs. Foreman,
and
please don�t tell anybody about this.�
Kitty: Sure thing sweetie! Now you go get her! Kitty gets up smiling
brightly
and goes back to her gardening, while Hyde walks down to the basement.
The Basement: The fab four are in there and Hyde walks into the room.
�Hey
you guys seen Jackie?�
Donna: Uh yeah she�s upstairs talking to Red.
Hyde gives a puzzled look and sits down. Jackie bounds back down the
stairs
and squeals when she sees Hyde. �Ooo Steven you�re here!�
Hyde gets out of his chair �Jackie do you have your car?�
Jackie: �Yeah, why?�
Hyde: �We need to talk, let�s go.�
So Jackie and Hyde left the basement to go have a talk, leaving the
gang
perplexed.
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