Brendan: "Question, can we steal things that don't belong to us and probably never will unless we steal them?"
Krishna: "Well, it's not really stealing if someone gives it to you and says you can have it."
Brendan: "Well can we still steal it?"

"Why would you live in Tornado Alley? Would you live in a place called Volcano Liquid Hot Magma Path?"

"Please don't be a menace to South Rostock while drinking your juice in the hood."

"You know, you rained on my parade. No, you didn't even rain on my parade. You assassinated the marching band. You took out the leader of the marching band with a high powered rifle."

"I wish I had a cannon."

"If 'if's, 'and's, and 'but's were horses, candy, and nuts then we'd all be very overweight and riding steeds."

"Freestyle dining is like freestyle snowboarding, only not as dangerous."

"No, he/she/it is."

"Yes, Krishna, we're all very proud of you for graduating from college."

"As Forrest Gump once said, 'Life is like a box of chocolates.' This is a lie. Life is like a box of ninjas, waiting to kick you in the face. The issue is how you take those kicks."

"I won't lie to you, I might give you such a hug that it'll crush you soul. But don't worry, souls are elastic"