Part I: Player Information
Your Name: Sachiko
Email Address: [email protected]
Web Page: http://geocities.com/kawaiimoon4ever/Golden_Moon.html

Part II: Character Information
Character Name/Position: Canente; Xenia Eleonore Lacrima
Name Meaning:
Xenia = Greek; Stranger.
Eleonore = German; Compassion
Lacrima = Italian; Tears
Birthdate and Age / Zodiacal Sign: January 19; 11; Capricorn.
 
Vessy: Wow is that young!

Physical Details: She has Light blue hair that fades to dark brown. She has no bangs, and her hairstyle is in two braids one each side of her head, which flows to the floor, with about 3 feet on the floor. The braids are held back in two clips. The clips, are small metallic white teardrops. Her eyes are dark green. She has a dark tan skin, all year round. She is slender and very strong. Her skin is smooth and soft, like velvet. She also has a mark that is a dark blue heart with silver writing it that says " Shadow of Tears." on the tailbone on her back. She wears, a lot of tank tops, and shorts, and very showy summer dresses in different shades of blue, and white.
 
Vessy: Wow is that long hair... does it trail along the floor? or is it clipped up... you're not very clear about that... Is the mark a birth mark? Cus if so... that is one tripped out birth mark. or is it a tatoo and then I say "what the smeg is an eleven year old girl doing with a tatoo?"

Bloodtype: AB
Gemstone: Garnet and Peridot
 
Vessy: Reasoning??

Likes: Gummi Bears; because they so cute and good. Guys and Girls; well just because, she does.
 
Vessy: Again with the reasoning? and in what sense does she like guys and girls? Does she like anything else?

Dislikes: Automobiles; she doesn't like them, they are too dangerous. Milk; she doesn't like the way it tastes.
 
Vessy: Better reasoning... but alot more would be appreciated!

Hobbies: Reading; to gain more knowledge. Being alone; because it's nice and quiet. Practicing her military manners; because she is very organized and demanding.
 
Vessy: She's in the military? she's ELEVEN! . . . *shrugs*

Personality/Alter Ego: Xenia is very patient and careful on what she does. She is very practical, and loves allot of things. She can be in misery a lot to, she get mad when you make fun of her or someone, or something.  She can be reserved allot and knows what is right and what is wrong. She is very smart but doesn't show it. She is very disciplined and sometimes uses military terms allot. She gets very happy when you give her gummi bears. But if you take them away she gets very sad and mad. She is very serious at times, and very respectful, responsible, and careful. She puts everyone in front of her first. She also likes professionalism.
Xenia is a student; she watches people a lot to examine them, and brings news back. She also, is very silent and swift moving so she attacks easy, unless, someone is very alert.
 
Vessy: This is a very special 11 year old here... Although her personality could use quite a bit more detail. Its very short, very choppy and doesn't make a whole lot of sense... the grammer is really off too... try reading through what you've written out loud.

History:
Canente was born from somebody's tears, when they lost their loved one. She flew out into the world and looked around. She was scared and lonely, she didn't have anyone, so she flew there trying to get attention, but no one gave her any attention, because how small she was. She got very angry with this, and flew to another place and realm. She was not happy about this, and she mostly thought everyone was rude, as the people, on Earth. But when she heard that they can change something she was happy, and ready to take revenge. When she came back to Earth she was ready to fight someone of something, to take revenge and found a young girl, to take over the young girls body.
Vessy: So her main reason for wanting to destroy everyone is because she was ignored because she was small? How small like tear sized or small child sized?

Xenia is a peaceful 11-year-old. She  usually gets ignored allot. With her parents being away and always working. She gets things once in awhile, but has to pay for things a lot by herself. She goes to Romulous Public Elementary, she has a few friends there. She is very good student and mostly top in her class. She sometimes is very self-conscious. She doesn't get into trouble, though.
Vessy: How does she pay for stuff? Does she get an allowance? or does she have a job of some sort? Where and what do her parents do for work and why does it take them away from her alot? What was her childhood like? We need a history of her as a child on earth not just the nymph side. Where does she get the like of Military knowledge etc.? is she an army brat or just because she likes it?

Canente knew that Xenia was the right one, to take over. She was almost exactly like her. Sad and depressed, with no one really, in the world for her. Canente has watched Xenia for a long time and finally took of her soul.

NPCs: Her friend Anastasia
 
Vessy: Can we know a little bit about her?

Part III: Villain Information
Special Skills: Being Swift and fast. And watching every persons move.
Henshin Item: N/A
Transformation:  N/A
Colors: Primary- Light Pale Blue, and Secondary- White.
Symbol: Three small teardrops. One higher then each other, in a zigzag kind of motion.
Fuku/Costume: She wears Light Blue tears clustered together around her bust, and in the back there is tears dropping down on strings. Her wears a blue choker that is a chain, with a light blue teardrop. Around her wrists is a light blue Her bikini bottom is made of white crystallized tears. She wears Boots that go past her knees that are light blue with black buckles. She also has a white cape that goes to the ground. She also has a helmet like things that is on her head and goes down on the sides that is white with one vertical stripe.
 
Vessy: I like her fuku its very cute and original it really suits her!

Powers/Attacks:
Tear Shower- She raises her arms in front of her, and cups her hands, her body glows white. She then flips in air and opens her hands letting all the tears fall out and hit the enemy stinging them and maybe paralyzes them. This can hit multiple people in the range. This can be dodged, and reflected.

Choking Strangle- She glows Pale Light Blue and forms a tear in her hand, then she blows the tear into her enemy's eyes. Then the tear wraps around the enemy and the enemy can't stop crying so they are stuck in a crystal tear and their own sorrows and tears. This can be done to one person, and can only be used a couple times during battle. This can be dodged, if they are most alert. And the Crystal Tear can be broken if the person loves allot more then normal people.
 
Vessy: Oh! I love this attack! Its excellent! Excellent use of the power sphere!

Weapons: None

Part IV: Miscellaneous Information
Why you: Well I like RPG's and this one is different then the others, I've seen. This one seems more alive and will be fun. I am usually always online, and will participate a lot.
Miscellaneous:

Part V: The Writing Sample
Xenia slowly makes her why to school, really not in the mood, to go today.
" Hello Xenia" said Anastasia waving, to her friend, running up to her.
" Hello Anka" she waved back to Anastasia.
"Come on lets hurry up and get is class" Xenia nodded and walked with her friend to class. She then sat down in a seat in the front. Anastasia did the same and started talking to some other people. Xenia just sat there, waiting for class to begin. Xenia went off into dreamland, thinking about how it would be to be a fairy. Or a mythical creature, she loved daydreaming. Then he dreaming was interrupted, when everything turned black and blood was splashed everywhere. The bell rang also; She sat up and looked around. The teacher was just about to start class. The day went by and lunch came. She sat outside under a tree and at her lunch, while observing, the people around her.
" Hello Xenia!" Anastasia yelled coming over to her, Xenia put her hand over Anastasia's mouth and whispered,
"Shh."
"What is it?" Anastasia whispered,
" I'm watching and looking for something." she said and glowed a pale light blue so no one could see, and shot a spark of light out and waited for it to return.
Vessy: Overall I quite liked it you did really well and really empathized with the power sphere!
Two things I would like you to work out is perhaps make her personality a little bit more linear. Right now its really scattered and just kind of in chunks. Just maybe give it some thought and round it all up. Perhaps elaborate on why she likes military stuff and what sort of stuff she likes about it. Secondly add a few more likes a dislikes. They can give personality quite a bit of depth. Thridly give the history more detail into her life as a human, read through the other Nymph apps they are great examples of the detail and stuff you should include. and Finally I think you should perhaps think through the reasoning of why she hates humans so much, give it a bit more oomph! and explain about this "Other realm" that you mentioned.
Basically what I'm saying is give us a huge big spoonful of detail and its golden!
 
Verdict: Revise or die!!
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