 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| POLITICALLY INCORRECT | ||||||||||||
| 5/2/05: Well it's been a while since I've been here, so how about a quick synopsis of events up to this point? 1. Bush beats Kerry in the election. Bush takes his victory as an opportunity to crusade against gay marriage, while Kerry takes his defeat as an opportunity to scowl at Condoleeza Rice. Ralph Nader takes his near-canadidacy as an opportunity to promote his availability to be a disco DJ. 2. People died in Iraq. 3. |
||||||||||||
| 2/18/04: The 2004 presidential election is close. | ||||||||||||
| 3/6/03: Everyone knows that Simon from American Idol is tough. He's a critic. What do you expect? Anyways, he has told several whales that they needed to shed a tent size before they could become pop stars, and now he's in trouble with the (no joke!) National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance. These people run around and give fat people hugs. So now we're trying to get people to stay fat? Cause some more health problems? Simon has responded by telling people that he's simply being honest, and that the reporter in the back has bad posture. One of the large contestants has said, "I love my fat! I want people to embrace my size." Well, we're embracing you being kicked off the show. | ||||||||||||
| 1/9/03: As tensions mount yet further between Iraq and the United States, the question of going to war is no longer of defense but of morality to the enemy. The liberals are arguing that war would not be a happy affair, and that many Iraqis would die. Well, duh! On the Today show this morning, a brilliantly pathetic display of heated debate took place between a former Naval Admiral (who actually knew something), the Reverend Anti-Booboo, and the world's top political expert, Martin Sheen. With all of his many years of holding real politcal office (*ahem), Mr. Sheen stated that the war would be immoral, said that maybe we shouldn't do it, and turned around to ask for more hair gel. | ||||||||||||
| 1/8/03: As the White House recieves a new economic advisor, the course of American politics takes a drastic turn. No longer is the strategy to boost the economy putting a stool under a stock ticker, but is an equally ineffective series of political manuvers that have produced little change. Meanwhile, the stock ticker has been destroyed by the "Stock the Accountant Suicide Foundation," and the stool is employed by dog shows around the nation. | ||||||||||||