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| The greatest loss I never had was him I miss him more than any one I've ever lost, but he was never truely mine I wanted him to be so horribly. I can still smell his hair, that sweet clean smell of biologe shampoo, and I feel my arms around him, telling him I'd always be there for him and I would do anything for him - Build a mountain just for him to sit on. When I close my eyes, I see his. They are clear blue flowing bodies of water. In the bigger picture, he has a grin and dimples that melt me so I feel that I have molded to become a part of him. But this was never to exsist because I was not the girl for him. I did not fit his pretty picture; so perfect and willing I was but never enough. Not smart enough, fun enough, or pretty enough. He told me he loved me and I cried and he cried. So where did that love disapear to? Perhaps it was never really there. It must be exasperating to love. Perhaps his body grew tired of me waiting - Waiting to inhale his soul and never let it out of my grasp. Does he miss me? I can no longer see through the water for it is no longer clear. The oceans have become polluted with lies and exaggerations. They look at me no longer with desire. Oh No! They have began to dry up. There is nothing left for me to clean with. My waters begin to flow and form puddles on my cheeks. |
| Crying with eyes that are not mine |