And lay your hands over me
Even if it�s a lie
Say it will be alright
I shall believe~*~
Alive. That's how he made her feel. He was the only one who could make her knees weak and he was the only one who could make her heart thud in her chest. Never in her young life had she ever dreamed she could feel this way. He ignited something in her she didn't even have the words to describe. When she first met him, his penetrating cobalt eyes stared deep into hers causing her to lose all common sense.
"Alyson, I want you to meet the guys of NSYNC- Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick, Lance Bass, and JC Chasez. Guys meet Alyson Mitchell, my new secretary and YOUR new tour photographer." The young
dark-haired woman smiled shyly and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. JC was the first to step forward and extend his hand. He smiled warmly. "It's nice to meet you." She smiled back, and took his hand and shook it firmly. "As it is you." He was afraid to let go of her. Afraid that if he did, he might find that she wasn't real. She fought hard to let go as well. Those eyes. They were infatuating. Sparkling like the sea on a clear summer's day. She found herself a bit scared of all these sensations
running through her. She was the first to let go and look back over at Johnny Wright, their manager. He nodded. "Well guys, it's time to get back to the studio. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll see plenty more of Alyson as the days go on." Alyson blushed a bit, as she said goodbye to the now departing guys.
~*~ Broken in two
I know you�re onto me
That I only come home
When I�m so all alone
I do believe~*~
He was never one to believe in love at first sight. But the day he met Alyson, that all changed. She wasn't like most other girls. She wasn't flighty or flirty. She was reserved and intellectual. She knew where she stood in the world, and she was the type who had her life planned out before her, back in kindergarten. That could pose a problem. But as the days went by he soon saw that just maybe it wouldn't be. There wasn't a day that went by where he didn't stop by her desk to chat or just say hello. They were leaving on tour tomorrow, and he wondered why she had been so willing to go. When Johnny mentioned the idea of her going along, she had jumped at the opportunity. She was complex, he knew that much. She was a puzzle. And for once in his life, it was one he couldn't wait to solve.
She looked around her now near empty apartment and sighed to herself. She had agreed to go on tour with Johnny and the guys and now she wasn't sure if she had made the right choice. The past few months she had become very close to all them, and they were like brothers to her. Except for JC. She saw him in a completely different light than she did the others. He was the most intriguing, charismatic man she had ever met in all her life, and she longed to feel what it would be like to be in his arms. Except she knew that was just wishful thinking. She could never know what it was like to taste his lips against hers or feel his hand upon her skin. It was an impossibility.
~*~ That not everything is gonna be the way you think it outta be
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me
Please say, honestly, you won�t give up on me
And I shall believe~*~
She sat alone in the silent hotel room, wondering when she had lost control of her life. People always said that there was always a choice. Except she didn't have one. She hated being alone. It always made her think too much. Think about how lonely she was, and how she wanted nothing more than to be free of all the burdens that she carried.
He lay on his bed, staring up at the dull ceiling, wondering what she doing at that very moment. Was she thinking about home? About friends or family? But the one question he really only cared about was, 'Was she thinking of him?' He found himself getting up and walking out into the hall, and heading for her room. It was unplanned. Instinct. Like he had no will of his own. He knocked softly, and waited anxiously until she opened the door to him. After a few silent moments, she opened the door, and saw him standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, rocking nervously back and forth on his heels. She smiled slightly, before opening the door wider to allow him in.
~*~ Open the door
Show me your faith tonight
I know it�s true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key~*~
No words were spoken at first. They just sat there in silence, enjoying each other's company. His presence set her soul at ease. He was the first to break the tense silence. "Alyson? Could I ask you a question?" She looked up, and nodded. "Go right ahead." He took a deep breath, contemplating whether or not he should say what he had longed to say to her from the very beginning. He knew he might not have a more perfect opportunity, so he decided to just go for it. "When we first met, and you shook my hand.... did you feel something?" Her eyes remained fixed on him, almost expressionless. She sighed and her gaze fell. "I did." She whispered. "I felt electricity shoot through my body." He smiled, eyes not wavering from her still form. He slid his hand over hers and leaned close to her so she could feel his breath on her earlobe. "Me too." He whispered. She drew back and looked into his eyes. "Really?" He nodded, and brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. "Yes, really." She stood and turned away, unsure of what to do now.
~*~ Never again
But I turn away from you
I�m so happy tonight
But your heart is alright
And I do believe~*~
He stood as well, and came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her thin waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Do you still feel that same way as you did then?" She inhaled sharply, before nodding, resting her head back so his cheek was against hers. "And you?" He smiled. "I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't." She turned in his arms and looked up at his serene face. "Now what?" He shushed her by placing a finger on her tender lips. "Must you always need to know what happens next? Live each minute a minute at a time. Don't think ahead. Just concentrate on now." She nodded, as he traced over her lips with his finger. She sighed, dreamily. "Now is when you kiss me, right?" His eyes didn't waver from her lips as he nodded. "Now is when I kiss you." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead, then her cheek, and both eyelids, and then hovered above her lips. "I've wanted to do this from the second I saw you at Jive that March afternoon." Her lips twitched into a smile. "Then what on earth are you waiting for?"
He leaned down and initiated contact with her lips and the moment his lips touched against hers, she was amazed at the chills he sent up and down her spine. This certainly wasn't her first kiss, but she knew it was the first kiss that ever actually made her feel complete. Made her feel needed... and wanted. But she knew deep down, it wouldn't last. It couldn't.
~*~That not everything is gonna be the way you think it outta be
It seems like every time I try to make it right , it all comes down on me
Please say, honestly, you won�t give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe~*~
The tour passed by quickly from that point on. Alyson and JC spent night after night talking and enjoying being in each other's company. Whether it be in his bunk on the tour bus, or a hotel room somewhere on the road. They knew just about every aspect of each other's lives and were still yearning to know more. But she kept her one dark secret forced in the back of her mind. If he ever found out the truth... That she wasn't as she said she was. She realized she never should have let him in that night at the hotel. But in a way, she was glad she did. He showed her what love was, and what she was missing. She knew it was time to tell him what she had been fighting to keep quiet for so long now.
She remembered the night she did tell him. The pain and confusion on his face. The anger and hurt. She remembered avoiding his kiss and making him sit down. "JC, there's something I need to tell you. I should have told you the second you came into my hotel room that night. But something inside me told me not to. I suppose I was selfish. But all I knew was I wanted to know what it was like to truly fall for someone and love them." She struggled to find the right words. She didn't know how to tell him. He would be angry and
upset and confused all at the same time and she never wanted to hurt him. "This, we, can't continue. And I understand that you're going to hate me and be angry, but I'm sorry. I really am. All I came to Jive for was for a job. I never expected to fall in love with the most tender, loving man on the face of the earth. My father� is Jacob Mitchell. Head of Jive Enterprises. So it�s not a complete shock I got this job. But, JC, if my father ever found out about us� Then you�re out. He�d kick Nsync off the Jive label and make sure you didn�t get a contract anywhere else.�
He didn�t say anything at first. The silence was deafening. �So, we don�t tell him. Big deal.� She shook her head. �No. It�s too risky. My dad watches me 24/7, JC. That is why I was so eager to come on tour. To get away. To have some sense of privacy. I�m a terrible liar. I would never be able to go through with it.�
He sighed. �Then I�ll quit.� She shook her head, firmly. �No way. As much as I love you, I will not I repeat, WILL NOT, let you do something as foolish as that. We both know that this band is your life, your rock. I can�t even compare to it. I�m sorry, JC, but this is it. But, will you at least promise me something before I go? Don�t follow me. Don�t make it harder than it already is. Just let me go, and go on with your way.� She smiled sadly and kissed him one last time, before walking away, not looking back once.
He knew he should call out to her and somehow stop her. Convince her to stay with him. But she had practically pleaded with him to let her go. He felt the tears stream down his face, unsure he would ever be able to fall in love again. He knew for a fact no one would ever replace Alyson, and it would take a while before he could even look another girl�s way. She was forever etched into his heart and he would never forget her.
She vaguely remembered turning around and walking away from him that night. The tears stung her eyes and the second she reached her own room, she felt into a heap, crying uncontrollably, cursing her father for being who he was, and the way he was. Even though JC, was her one true love, she knew that one day her heart would be made whole again, and she would find someone else. Or perhaps, one day their paths would cross again, and they could be together. She sighed to herself. Wishful thinking is what it was. She knew that the chances of that happening were slim to none. But a girl had to have her dreams�
~*~I shall believe
And I shall believe~*~
The End!
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